Self Image

Baby Lynn

Okay so this is probably going to sound weird but I really just need this off my chest. I've been having issues with my weight. I've always been self-conscious about myself. Right now is the most I have weighed (when not pregnant). My senior year of high school I was overweight and after I graduated I lost 30 lbs. I was so proud to be the person who didn't gain the freshman 15 when I started college. Now I weigh more than I did in high school. I just feel depressed about it. I will sit and cry some days over it. Nothing fits me, and what does fit is just t-shirts and I've never been someone who wears t-shirts all the time. I want so bad to loose weight but I have no motivation to go out and walk on the nice days, or work out at all. I stay home as much as possible and have resorted to sweat pants and tshirts most days. Before I was walking almost daily, and tried my best to keep most of it off. I tell myself all the time that tomorrow I will walk or work out but I can't bring myself to do it. The rare occasions I do go out and walk I get mad because I can't make it as far as I used to. It makes me feel so crappy about myself. So I just stopped doing it. I hate everything about my body. And yet I can't find the motivation to do something. I refuse to have sex because I feel so disgusting. I won't even have sex in the dark. When I did give into sex once I sat there and thought about how fat I looked even though it was dark and he couldn't see me. I couldn't even enjoy it. I have no idea what to do. I will shower and look in a mirror and tell myself all the things that are wrong with my body. (SO has taken my large mirrors away from me before so I don't do this.) I know this is a "just work out and everything will be okay" type of thing but it's really bugging me. And I let myself down every time I do workout so I just can't. I can't seem to be happy with it. I was fine until my 6 PP checkup gave me the okay. Before that I didn't have the okay to work out or anything so I didn't now I just get disappointed in myself.

And for the record, I am perfectly happy with my son. I take care of him daily, play with him, give him kisses and hugs, spoil the crap out of him when I can, all the things a mom is suppose to do. He is my everything.

Whine over..Sorry you read this. No one understands how I feel and I doubt any of you will either but I had to get that off my chest.

beth2882

Ditto everything the previous poster said.

I am lucky to have a friend from work who had a baby 4 days before me.  We meet at local parks to walk and boy does she give me a workout!

You could put your baby in the carrier or stroller and walk around the neighborhood.  Plan it for what would work best for you.  My DD sleeps well in her carrier and car seat, so a walk is a good activity if a nap is needed for her.  You could also try walking at the mall.

For the record, I wear sweats a lot too

I still don't fit too well in my regular clothes, but refuse to buy bigger ones. 

aspen970

I completely understand. I can't even look at my legs, and I can feel my cellulite though my pants! I just want to play with my daughter, not exercise. I have about 6 of the same things I wear all the time because they fit, and I was a 6 before I got pregnant. 50 pounds later and NOT a size 6 anymore. I know the weight will come off, but I feel like I am wearing a fat suit. It sucks, and there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, but I know how you feel. Keep you chin up!:)

lulling

I understand how you feel!  By the time I get home from work, get the baby and actually spend some time with him it is time to eat and get ready for work the next day and go to bed.  There is no time to work and even if there was I am not motivated to do it.  I hate my body.  It is flabby and my boobs still have not gone back to their normal size, nor have my nipples.  I hate for my husband to see my body and I have no interest in sex.  I feel like I am constantly sweating because of the extra weight.  I have not taken a picture yet with my baby because I can't stand the thought of having to look at my fat self in the picture.

mcgeeva

Hang in there things will get better. I am with you all I can fit in is the same yoga pants I have been wearing for 10 weeks now and breastfeeding tops that look horrible because everything hugs the wrong places. I am super unhappy with my weight and looks and did not do well today eating healthy but I keep telling myself tomorrow I will try again. Seriously though I would get out and walk. I walk when it's nice out an hour a day and that does make me feel a little better knowing I have done something. Just think we all have beautiful babies along with the weight we put on.

Baby Lynn

Thanks ladies! SO doesn't understand why I get so emotional about my weight. So it is nice that some of you ladies feel the same way. I will have to try and make myself get out more. I will just have to learn to feel like I tried than to feel like a disappointment.

xoladiebug

I totally understand where you're coming from.  I had lost 35 pounds before I got pregnant and m/c last spring.  Then I got back into bad habits of eating and drinking before I got pregnant with my daughter.  My OB never said squat about my weight gain during pregnancy.  And even now, I weigh just slightly less than when I started that 35 pound weight-loss journey.  However all those "fat" clothes I kept...yeah, they don't fit.  I'm still wearing my maternity jeans and pants when I need to go out of the house because I cannot zip up or button even my "fat" pants!  Isn't that funny?

I'm pretty certain I will be buying some dresses for this summer (and more spanx).  I cannot justify buying a BIGGER size.  And worse yet, I feel like having had a c-section made my body worse.  

And I'm totally like you - I haven't done anything to help myself out.  I'm exhausted from being with DD for 12 hours a day (alone).  Plus it's been getting so hot here, I worry that she'll over-heat in her closed-in stroller.  I should take her to the mall to walk, but getting out of the house with her seems to take forever too.

FX that we all get our bodies back!  We deserve it! 

Baby Lynn

danielle4348:

I am right there with the rest of you ladies. I have broken down in tears at least 3 times since my 6 wk checkup. It doesn't help that I had two children close together and am holding onto extra weight from both the pregnancies. I feel helpless. I feel defeated before I ever get started. I have no clue how to be happy with my current body. I am not interested in sex either and find myself getting mad at my husband when he tells me I'm pretty. My head tells me he's a liar, how can I be pretty? I am no longer the woman he fell in love with and my body disgusts me. I love my boys and once the emotions get out of the way, I know that I would gain all the weight all over again because the outcome is so precious but in the moment, I just feel . . . . .  well lonely and sad.

I do find that on days I actually get out and take a stroll around the neighborhood, I do feel better, at least for a little while. My problem is mostly that I'm scared the weight will never come off. I too have never been this big before and I'm not even sure how to go about losing it. :::Sigh:::

We will all be fine ladies and we are all beautiful because we created and birthed life . . . .  now if only I could take my own statement to heart . . . .

This is exactly it! Too bad all of the March Mommas don't live in the same area. Then we could all be each others motivation. Because it's easiest to do it with someone else. Doesn't help I'm moving an hour away from everybody and will know no one in my new town.

At least when no one else gets it we are able to get support here!

 

Baby Lynn

xoladiebug:

I totally understand where you're coming from.  I had lost 35 pounds before I got pregnant and m/c last spring.  Then I got back into bad habits of eating and drinking before I got pregnant with my daughter.  My OB never said squat about my weight gain during pregnancy.  And even now, I weigh just slightly less than when I started that 35 pound weight-loss journey.  However all those "fat" clothes I kept...yeah, they don't fit.  I'm still wearing my maternity jeans and pants when I need to go out of the house because I cannot zip up or button even my "fat" pants!  Isn't that funny?

I'm pretty certain I will be buying some dresses for this summer (and more spanx).  I cannot justify buying a BIGGER size.  And worse yet, I feel like having had a c-section made my body worse.  

And I'm totally like you - I haven't done anything to help myself out.  I'm exhausted from being with DD for 12 hours a day (alone).  Plus it's been getting so hot here, I worry that she'll over-heat in her closed-in stroller.  I should take her to the mall to walk, but getting out of the house with her seems to take forever too.

FX that we all get our bodies back!  We deserve it! 

My OB never said anything either and I kind of wish she had. Because then I might have gotten back on the right track. And I refuse to buy bigger clothes also. That's why I wear crap now. I just feel like it's a waste of money because I want to loose the weight but at the same time I haven't even begun to do so thanks to the disappointment I get when I do try. 

BigIsland07

OMG. I could have written all of these posts. It sucks to feel so horrible about yourself. I gained a lot of weight with DD -- and got pregnant right after losing a whole bunch of weight, gaining muscle and looking "hot" again after my first son. I feel hideous and ugly all the time, and am so glad that for the first few months of babies life everyone is focused on the baby, not the mama. I keep telling myself it'll get better soon, and that I just need to get motivated. Maybe we should start a workout check in? Weight loss check in??