What's an appropriate gift? (2nd shower)

HungryRunner76

I've been invited to a baby shower for someone having their second baby (a girl - the first was a boy).  What's an appropriate gift?  I was thinking along the lines of an outfit or two since I know she has most of the essentials...

danieliza1127

Did she register?  If she did, then I suggest just picking something from her registry in the price range you're comfortable with.  If she didn't register, then I'd probably go with clothes, onesies, receiving blankets, diapers, stuff like that.  If you know what her nursery theme is, if she has one, you could look for something that would go in the nursery.

eav2c

An outfit will do. Since she already has one LO she doesn't need the big stuff nor would I ever consider buying someone something big who is on a 2nd+ pregnancy. 

AZ123

For my friends, I've gotten the mom's something for themselves post-delivery like a nice sweater that wraps or something to wear post-baby.

cookiemdough

Did she register?

If not, I would probably pick something that is not likely to be passed down, baby bibs in girl colors, an outfit, diapers, wipes, etc.   

k.martell

I'd get an outfit or 2 for a DD.

HungryRunner76

Thanks, ladies!  She did register, but I think I'll grab an outfit for the LO - thanks for your advice!

BakerMommy

When I went to a second shower for a friend--same situation, having a girl after a boy--I got an outfit I liked and something small off the registry.

laurakaz13

I would just get some diapers.  Maybe some cheap onesies and only if it was a CLOSE friend.  I think second showers are extremely tacky though. 

CraftyKayla

I'd get her an outfit... Or make a cute gift basket full of girly little things like hairbows, headbands, and an outfit!

rhubarb123

If someone registers I ALWAYS get something off the registry (obviously she "needs" it) and then an outfit in a larger size and season appropriate.  Depending on the age of her son she might need some things that he is still using.

Aleja0918

An outfit's fine. Since it's her second, I wouldn't even bother looking at her registry since I think it's tacky to make that information available when you're expecting subsequent children.

Cranang

Aleja0918:

An outfit's fine. Since it's her second, I wouldn't even bother looking at her registry since I think it's tacky to make that information available when you're expecting subsequent children.

This.  Seriously, she's having a second kid and makes another registry?  God people are tacky these days.

ktsnshn

Girly clothes or toys, or diapers.

Ardmhs83

laurakaz13:

I would just get some diapers.  Maybe some cheap onesies and only if it was a CLOSE friend.  I think second showers are extremely tacky though. 

I would get an outfit and maybe some diapers.  I would have to disagree with the second shower thing being tacky.  If you are having a baby that is a different sex you will need new clothing, towels, bibs, ect.....  Now if she is asking for the big ticket items again...that would be tacky, but if not...I think it is perfectly fine. 

RoxyLynn

laurakaz13:

I would just get some diapers.  Maybe some cheap onesies and only if it was a CLOSE friend.  I think second showers are extremely tacky though. 

This, 1,000%.  I would send my regrets and not encourage the gift-grabbing.

blush64

An appropriate gift is one you feel you would like to give. I will give the same gift whether it's the first or 21st baby. There is no standard gift, people give what they want. Give an outfit, give supplies, do what you feel is right.

If you don't feel a second shower is proper just don't go and don't send a gift. IT's ok to do that. MY family has showers for each pregnancy so for us it's natural and normal but not everyone feels this way.

Michelle164

Cranang:

Aleja0918:

An outfit's fine. Since it's her second, I wouldn't even bother looking at her registry since I think it's tacky to make that information available when you're expecting subsequent children.

This.  Seriously, she's having a second kid and makes another registry?  God people are tacky these days.

Why is this tacky? I had a second shower. My DS is 6YO and we are having a daughter. We did not plan on having any more kids so we didn't keep anything other than the crib and stroller. We didn't even have an bottles or anything. We did register for mostly small to medium stuff, though. But just because someone has a kid before doesn't mean they still have all that baby stuff.

Cranang

Michelle164:

Cranang:

Aleja0918:

An outfit's fine. Since it's her second, I wouldn't even bother looking at her registry since I think it's tacky to make that information available when you're expecting subsequent children.

This.  Seriously, she's having a second kid and makes another registry?  God people are tacky these days.

Why is this tacky? I had a second shower. My DS is 6YO and we are having a daughter. We did not plan on having any more kids so we didn't keep anything other than the crib and stroller. We didn't even have an bottles or anything. We did register for mostly small to medium stuff, though. But just because someone has a kid before doesn't mean they still have all that baby stuff.

 

Who cares if you still have all of your stuff or not??  What does that have to do with anything?  It is YOUR responsibility to buy bottles, and diapers, and wipes, and bibs, and onesies, and a car seat.  Trying to get other people to foot the bill for you is WHY it's tacky.  ONE PARTY to welcome you to motherhood--that's how it's supposed to work.  You've been a mother for 6 years. You don't get a windfall just because you gave everything away.

Thank you for illustrating why it's tacky.  This post was a fabulous visual aid. 

jessican08

HungryRunner76:

I've been invited to a baby shower for someone having their second baby (a girl - the first was a boy).  What's an appropriate gift?  I was thinking along the lines of an outfit or two since I know she has most of the essentials...

A card and maybe a pack of diapers - maybe.

I'm in the "2nd showers are tacky" camp if you can't tell.

RoxyLynn

Michelle164:

Why is this tacky? I had a second shower. My DS is 6YO and we are having a daughter.

"It's can't possibly be tacky because I'm doing it" is really not a defense.  All you've done is add yourself to the list of people who, for reasons of not wanting to do their own purchasing, think it's OK to shake down their friends and family.