Soon to be Single Parent

LittleNugget12

HELP! I need some serious advice i am at a breaking point!

 So i found out was i pregnant on Feb 14th, 2012. To me this was the best set of news i have recieved since i was dealing with so many personal issues. I was beyond excited and told my boyfriend of 5 years. His response was get rid of it i dont want it. At first i understood why he did not want the baby with me. You see he had cheated on me last year and got this girl pregnant. To make matters worse he didnt bother to tell me untill two days AFTER his son was born. It was the biggest slap in my face and it hurt so bad that i couldnt even process what was going on. Well because i cared so much and loved him so much i decided to work things out with him and try to see what would happend. Well once i confired that i was pregnant he was so upset with me that all he kept saying was that i had to get rid of it because he didnt want to keep it, but i was already falling in love with this tiny little thing growing in me. I told him no that i would be keeping it.

 

Well he didnt talk to me for two weeks when he finally called me and said ok i am going to be there for you. I was excited that i took him back and we tried to work things out but idk what happend when all of a sudden he stop talking to me and told me that my child was never going to be good enough and that he wanted to be with her and work things out with her.

 

 Since that day he has basically called me out of the blue has NOT bother to ask me about my baby and shows no care for it at all. My question is if he does come back and wants to be a part of my babys life should i give him that right after all the mean things he has done to me and my baby? I mean i spent 5 years with this guy gave him my everything stuck by him even after he cheated on me and had a baby with another women!

 Should i even consider the chance of him changing?

 

HELP PLEASE

 

DarthNBJenni

Dude, cut your losses with this man. He's a douchecanoe and a half. Don't contact him until after the baby is born, don't try to work things out, simply let go. Set up child support after birth, and let him set up visitation if he wants. 

k8edgerton

This guy sounds like a complete looser... you are better off on your own.

septmom11

I know that it is hard to let go of the guy and the fantasy of you guys being a family but you have to..sooner rather than later.  It will be best for you and your newborn if you are moved on and have a clear head to take care of your LO.  Unfortunatly the odds of him changing are slim to none and even if he does you SHOULD NOT  wait for him to.  After believing my ex would change for many years I finally realized he wasnt.  It was hard but i completely got over him. 

I believe people can change but only to a certain degree.  People are what they are and act how they act because they want to.  You cannot change another person

Best of luck to you and your LO

offbeatmama

DarthNBJenni:

Dude, cut your losses with this man. He's a douchecanoe and a half. Don't contact him until after the baby is born, don't try to work things out, simply let go. Set up child support after birth, and let him set up visitation if he wants. 

This. Emphasis on the douchecanoe part.

HisChamaoleGirl

offbeatmama:

DarthNBJenni:

Dude, cut your losses with this man. He's a douchecanoe and a half. Don't contact him until after the baby is born, don't try to work things out, simply let go. Set up child support after birth, and let him set up visitation if he wants. 

This. Emphasis on the douchecanoe part.

Please take the above advice. These are two very smart women.

SemperFiPurpleHeart

He is not going to change unless HE wants too which doesn't sound like he will do. Life is too short to be living with all the stress you are dealing with. Think about the baby and yourself and get outta there! It will be the best thing and you will be so much happier. There are good men that want to be Father's out there.

achase123

PP's have hit the nail on the head.

AND consider the old saying "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me".  If you give him another chance and he fvvcks you over again (which he will) you will have no one to blame but yourself.

lilhockeygurlMOM

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

offbeatmama:

DarthNBJenni:

Dude, cut your losses with this man. He's a douchecanoe and a half. Don't contact him until after the baby is born, don't try to work things out, simply let go. Set up child support after birth, and let him set up visitation if he wants. 

This. Emphasis on the douchecanoe part.

Please take the above advice. These are two very smart women.

Two very smart women but you make it sound easier then done. Most new momma's heartbroken are looking for support in a nicer way. I'm sure you all have been in love. You can voice your opinion without being so harsh.

LittleNugget12

Thanks everyone for the input! After talking to my family and thinking about it i have decided to KEEP HIM OUT of my childs life. I will not ask for child support i will not ask him for anything. I am very blessed to come from a huge family that will support me and my child and help us when we need the help!

 

 

achase123

lilhockeygurlMOM:

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

offbeatmama:

DarthNBJenni:

Dude, cut your losses with this man. He's a douchecanoe and a half. Don't contact him until after the baby is born, don't try to work things out, simply let go. Set up child support after birth, and let him set up visitation if he wants. 

This. Emphasis on the douchecanoe part.

Please take the above advice. These are two very smart women.

Two very smart women but you make it sound easier then done. Most new momma's heartbroken are looking for support in a nicer way. I'm sure you all have been in love. You can voice your opinion without being so harsh.

::rolls eyes::

sometimes harsh is what people need.  No one was being mean at all.  Simply telling her like it is. 

You've been around TB long enough to know that the puppies and rainbows act is more the exception rather than the rule.  But then again, you were probably too high to remember all the tough love you've gotten over the years.

LittleNugget12

I am keeping him out because that is his choice. He has already made it clear that he will NOT be in the picture. Why should I go after him and beg him to be in my childs life? As for Child Support i do not need him to maintain my child i am blessed with having a full time job as a nurse and i am also getting my master so money wise i am not worried about at all.

 

thanks for the advice though it is good to hear other peoples imput!