Teaching 8mo 'gentle'

FrauElyse

DS decided last week he was going to sit up on his own, start crawling, and start pulling up on things all in the span of a few days.  This is great except he wants to be all over the place all the time.  I expected that, but not the injuries to DH and I it would include.  DS wants to be held sometimes (he lifts his arms to be picked up) but when you pick him up, he starts kicking you and grabbing your face, etc.  He's already made DH's nose bleed.  I try redirecting, but it seems like no matter how much I redirect he just thinks it's funny (no matter how stone cold I am about it).  Any advice?  Anyone else deal with this?

rubber_chicken

At such a young age, I think the only thing you could do is put him back down.  Put him down every time he kicks or scratches.  Might take ages for him to get it though.

rosiemomma

Use the word 'gentle' and show him (at time he isn't trying to kick/bite/hit) open his hand gently and physically show him gentle touches. "practice' this as often as he is willing. At the very same time don't let him hurt you... I agree with putting him down... If you can tell he is ready to hurt you 'remind' him before "Be gentle, Be gentle" 

It may take a couple weeks but if you watch him like a hawk and DON'T let him hurt you all the while demonstrating 'gentle'. You can do the gentle touches as well. Other  'outlets' for hitting include high fives, I often put my hand in front of my daughters when she was 'hitting' and said "High fives!! Yah!!" she loved it.

Make the 'positive' things he does A HUGE DEAL! if he cuddles gentle give him huge praise, clap, jump, tell everyone! Just get super over excited. And when he hurts you stay calm, say "ouch" make a 'grumpy' face and put him down. Try not to make a huge deal out of the pain... he will learn.

I hope this helps. My dd went through a phase of biting/hitting when she was 9-10 months... I seriously was afraid of her! But I kept reminding her to be nice and prevented her from hurting as much as possible and she figured it out.

skyejo

rosiemomma:

Use the word 'gentle' and show him (at time he isn't trying to kick/bite/hit) open his hand gently and physically show him gentle touches. "practice' this as often as he is willing. At the very same time don't let him hurt you... I agree with putting him down... If you can tell he is ready to hurt you 'remind' him before "Be gentle, Be gentle" 

All of this.  My AP-minded pedi suggested this and I'm so glad that I stuck with it.  Around 13 months when DD would hit/bite/whatever and I said "gentle gentle" she would stroke whatever body part she hit/bit.  It's still very effective now. 

Amitchell0626

We are trying to teach gentle too cause she keeps attacking the dog but it's not working

GrayGhost13

rosiemomma:

Use the word 'gentle' and show him (at time he isn't trying to kick/bite/hit) open his hand gently and physically show him gentle touches. "practice' this as often as he is willing. At the very same time don't let him hurt you... I agree with putting him down... If you can tell he is ready to hurt you 'remind' him before "Be gentle, Be gentle" 

We also went through a pretty rough biting and hitting phase, and this was pretty much our approach. It was bad for a few weeks, but eventually worked.

The good news is that it does get better. DS is now very gentle with DH and I and the pets, and he routinely comes up and gives us a gentle pat or stroke when he's feeling affectionate. It's really sweet.

Hang in there, mama!

rowanleaves

My LO is in that stage right now, too. I have a friend who raises horses, and has 3 kids. She thinks that nipping gently (like a mama horse does to her foal) when her kiddos would scratch at her face taught them that what they were doing hurt, and they would stop. (Her kids are far from traumatized, in fact, they are the most well mannered children I know!) I tried it the other day when LO tried to grab my lips. I nipped him gently on the fingers and said "NO". He took one look at me and stopped everything. It was actually kinda comical. He tried it again, and I repeated. He now is very careful, and if he tries anything I immediately say "No". I haven't nipped him since. Babies don't understand the concept of pain, so they kinda have to get a dose of their own medicine to understand why they shouldn't do it!

rubber_chicken

You know what's funny? These are the same methods we learned in puppy training with our dog. 

I was serious when I told husband we were going to clicker-train the baby...

FrauElyse

Thanks everyone!  This has all been very helpful.  I'm trying to get him down for sleep now while he's trying to climb up the walls, lol.  DH isn't here tonight, tomorrow, or Friday so it might actually work out well for me to get him going with 'gentle' and being put down before DH is around much this weekend (DH tends to have less patience than me).