4 year old being sneaky and lying

704bride

When confronted about various things when DS is practically caught red-handed, he lies to us.  "What are you doing to the dog?"  "Nothing."  "Did you push her?"  "No."  He also has been doing some sneaky behavior, which I really want to put a stop to.  Today's example: I was going to get in the shower today, shortly after explaining to DS that he might possibly be allowed to have a piece of chocolate after lunch.  He was going to play while I showered.  He said, "I want you to take a long shower."  I don't remember what reason he gave me, but then he said it again and I noticed the piece of chocolate in his hand, all ready to be unwrapped!  We had a talk about being sneaky, lying, blah, blah, blah.  I just really hope it's a phase because we're not sure of how to handle it.  A situation hasn't come up yet where he is trying to tell the truth and we're not believing him, which might help to teach him a valuable lesson.  Any suggestions?

Jelliebean1982

Try rephrasing the question.  "What are you doing" is always going to get a "...nothing" for an answer.  "Did you push the dog?"  Will always get a "...no". It's self-preservation, kid style. 

Try starting red-handed questions with why.  "Why did you push the dog?" will get you a much more honest response.  

Can't help you with the sneaking chocolate thing.  Does might possibly get a piece of chocolate mean you would change your mind?  If I was a kid I might want to sneak it too before you had a chance to say no!

KL777

Welcome to my world.

KathrynMD

Jelliebean1982:

Try rephrasing the question.  "What are you doing" is always going to get a "...nothing" for an answer.  "Did you push the dog?"  Will always get a "...no". It's self-preservation, kid style. 

Try starting red-handed questions with why.  "Why did you push the dog?" will get you a much more honest response.  

Can't help you with the sneaking chocolate thing.  Does might possibly get a piece of chocolate mean you would change your mind?  If I was a kid I might want to sneak it too before you had a chance to say no!

ditto this

I don't really think they see it as "lying" at this point; truth is still pretty flexible concept to them.

WestCoastMommy

Yep this is my son. And as far as showers go I now have to do a walk through the house and lock my cell phone and lap top in my room, lock the treat cupboard and hide the TV remote. He use to crawl up on the counter and get candy out of the cupboard while I was showering. I found this out because our house is small so I would grab a towel and jump out of the shower real quick to check on him and sure enough I would catch him. lol