Panic is setting in...

maceymay1816

My DD was a two year project, this little man however, was a complete surprise.  We thought for sure we'd need drugs to get pregnant again so we weren't being careful, who knew you could actually get pregnant by having normal sex. 

But now here we are almost 30 weeks into this pregnancy, I can't hardly hold my 10 month old comfortably.  I am having difficulty giving her a bath, getting up from the couch, getting on the floor for playtime, etc.  My belly is huge and since I've been having PTL contractions since 20 weeks it's been a rough go.  In addition, I feel I've reached a new level of exhaustion.  DH is not pulling his weight and thinks I'm  over reacting.  We know this baby is more than likely coming early, DD was almost 6 weeks early, dr thinks he will be lucky to make it to 34 weeks, so we have like no time.  I have so much to do and in addition to preparing for him to be here, I have no idea how I'm going to manage both babies.  They will likely both be under a year old. 

 How did you guys prepare your first for the arrival of the second to make your life manageable?  At this moment I can't even fathom how there will be time for me to have a meal for myself between trying to BF DS and having finger foods for DD.  I feel like I am going to fail and they'll both end up needing counseling for the rest of their lives. 

kagl08

1st off take a breath, you will be just fine. There is an adjustment period but I swear it gets better. Your DD is young so there is not much you can do for preparing her. My DD was 13.5 months when DS was born and I all I did was buy her a baby doll. She had no concept of him being a sibling. He just arrived one day she acted out a little and now you would never know she was ever an only child for a short time. Take it easy, talk to DH, have the dr talk to DH. Don't try to do it all. I sat on the floor a lot towards the end of my pregnancy and just let me DD climb all over me. I would also lay on the floor with her. Try to rest if you can. Quick easy meals. Basically you are on survival mode so just go what has to be done. I promise it will still be there after you have him.

My DS was 5 weeks early (35w2d). He spent 11 days in the NICU. I have to admit that having an small child at home and a baby in the NICU was murder! It was hard and guy wrenching. But we prevailed and here I am 7 months later loving 2u2! Good luck!

kcisthebombdotcom

While mine weren't quite under a year apart, they were pretty close (their birthdays are only 22 days apart). They are both surviving and thriving without the need for counseling.

In ways, it was easier having them be so close together. When the baby came, DS had just started walking, so he had all this newfound freedom. He couldn't have cared less that I had a little person to tend to because he was more content to explore than be held. 12ish months was a very low maintenance age (for my child anyway) so it did make the transition easier. He was too young to really get it, and I think that worked to my advantage.

Things that really helped in those first few weeks home--

Have an area of your house heavily babyproofed so you can tend to the baby without having to constantly watch your toddler

When the baby naps, put him/her down and utilize that time to spend with your toddler

Manage your time well. If you have a moment where both are sleeping (heaven!), or your toddler is entertained while your baby is sleeping, prep for the next meal during that time. I did a lot of prep work when DH was still home in the morning, and I found that helped avert lots of stressful situations where both were screaming to eat. I'd feed the kids breakfast while DH was still home, and had lunch/dinner for my toddler already prepped by the time DH left. I would always use the food from the night before for the kids to eat (still do!) so I could feed them before DH came home from work without having to cook.

Get a good carrier. I recommend the ergo. I seriously would not have survived without it. Being able to hold your baby while having your hands free saves a lot of tears.

In areas of the house you commonly spend time in, make changing stations with a towel/diapers/wipes. I never changed LOs in the nursery once I had two, and it was easier to just be able to change them in whatever room we were in (especially in the early days when I was still uncomfortable from delivering).

GL and congrats on #2! Although the early days are challenging, I wouldn't change it for the world. Now that my 2 are a little older, they are best buddies and play together all the time. There's such a great benefit in them being able to play with the same toys/being able to teach them together. My oldest is such a well behaved child and I think it's due in part to having a sibling so close--he is patient, shares well with other kids, and is empathetic. He's the kind of kid that in a playgroup he'll walk around and give all the other kids toys. My youngest is a tough little thing from playing with a big brother and is independent. It's really been such an amazing experience watching them grow together.