If you fear family won't like your name choice(s)...

CubbyMama

...do you think it's better to tell them the names early (making it clear that they're 100% firm) and give them time to get used to the names?  Or to keep them quiet as long as possible?

Evan is a pretty non-controversial name, but we're not sure our families (esp. IL's) will care much for Raina.  I'm wondering when we should share names, if ever...we're not finding out the sex until delivery.

WWYD?

sunshiny79

I would wait b/c once they see the cute little face they aren't going to care what the name is

Good luck! 

juniper19

Keep it quiet.  Although one name I considered was off-beat enough that I actually wanted my mom's approval (pathetic I know).  It turns out she liked it but we didn't use it.

r9stedt

I don't think we will tell the next time for that very reason.

?

lilpiglet

I would keep quiet.. that's what we did with DS and we will do the same with this baby....

and Raina is on our list for a girls name to :-D  I like Evan also, but DH said no :-/

jaredswife

I think you should do whatever you are most comfortable with.  People will criticize regardless of when they find out about a name they dont like.  So, I would just tell them to keep their negative opinions to themselves.

HisBetterHalf

Hmm.. since you're not finding out until delivery it might be better to keep the name a secret til then.  With DD we found out at 18wks and then announced the name.  We got very mixed reactions (mostly from ILs) including some very sour looking faces.  However, its not something that was up for debate so it didn't matter much to me what they thought.  Of course now that she's here and she's just perfect, everyone agrees that Brinley suits her to a T. 

SumnerBride

I'd wait.  That way, they won't have time to talk you out of it, or try to make you feel bad for picking what you did.

I made the mistake of telling my family our name choice.  My mom gave me "the look" and my dad just flat out said "that's stupid" and so.....I wish I wouldn't have said anything.

wellfleet04

Depends on your family.  If you think they'd say something in any event, tell beforehand so they can get used to the idea.  My mom never liked Kate's name and to this day says stuff like "We so wish you'd named her Zoe."  But if you think they'd keep it to themselves after seeing the cute little baby, then wait. Really, though, will you care what they think?  I don't care that my mom doesn't like Kate's name and thinks it is "plain."  We named her what WE wanted...she had her turn. 

CubbyMama

I thought that's what you all would say.  For some reason, I'm itching to tell and get it off my chest, but I might live to regret it if we have to endure 5 months of MIL giving alternate suggestions or dropping hints about why she doesn't like it/them!

j-w

Keep it quiet.  Otherwise, people will spend the rest of your pregnancy 'suggesting' other names (if they don't like your choice).

lucyfox

I like both your choices....
Jett was a tad off beat to some in my family I'm sure...but we just let everyone know what it was without really asking what anyone "thought" of our name.  And in the end, it just matters that you guys like it.  I know a Raina (spelled Reinna) and she is a doll so it makes me like the name even more.

annak23

Don't tell until the baby is born.  Also, it will give you time to get used to the name too, or change it if you want, without getting heat from family.

REOM

i read on here how someone kept their choice quiet, and wound up naming her son the same name as her MIL's rapist (which she obviously didn't know about).  sometimes family may actually have valid input on your choice.

buuut, my mom didn't like my first choice for a girl's name, and i did let that influence me. i realize that was wrong, and will use it if baby reom#3 is a girl

brightning

We didn't share our name because we didn't want to hear their comments. DD's name is Dana, which is gender neutral, and I know it's not my family's style at all. I just didn't want the hassle of explaining "I don't care if you like another name better, this is going to be her name."

It was also nice to have at least one thing to share because we were finding out the sex (though I know you're not). However, I told my mom she could guess and if she guessed the name, I would tell her. She finally figured it out at 40 weeks, so she found out early and told everyone, but we still got to keep the middle name a secret. Next time, I won't make the offer about guessing.

And on a personal note, I liked that only DH and I knew her name and that way she could be our special little thing for a little bit longer. I didn't like sharing that I was pregnant because I had so many weeks of carrying her around as "my little secret," and I felt like I lost part of her when I shared that I was PG.

Phillywife

If we have another we won't tell. I made the mistake of telling my sis names we liked and she wouldnt talk to me for months bc she has "reserved" a name I had said I liked. Seriously!

Sulla

We didn't breathe a word -- a WORD -- about names until the boys were here and the papers filed.

 Why open the door for a discussion you're not willing to have?

angiemackey

I wish I had waited until after Sarah was born to tell people our name choice, because before the baby's born people feel like it's okay to say they hate your choice for some reason.  I'll never forget that my sister said she didn't like the name, that she didn't think it was feminine, and I wish I had just waited until my beautiful girl was here before I told her.

lsufan

Definitely wait! ?Once the baby is here, they'll get used to the name pretty quickly. ?And like a pp said, most people are more reluctant to express dislike about the name after the baby is born.

And when we called my mom to tell her about Evan's birth, it took a good minute before she actually understood what the name was. ?She kept saying things like, "Kevin?" ?No, Mom, it's Evan. ?"How do you spell that?" ?"I've never heard of that!" ?Now she loves his name.?

aml0905

I think you will have comments no matter when you announce it so I would probably keep it until delivery so you don't have to listen to them as long. People tend to think they can change your mind before hand, afterwards it is what it is so they have to just deal with it. :- )

Sulla

I didn't mean to sound mean, btw. I just mean if you're really solid with your choices, why open the door to getting negative feedback on them? But if you really do want to have a discussion/defend them, by all means announce them.

I definitely agree that a name for a baby in utero is seen as still not definite, and people will try to sway you. But if you say, "Our daughter Raina is here" no grandma -- well, hopefully not -- will say, "Ewww? You named her Raina?" You just might get "His name is Alec Jaeger!" and then an awkward silence, like we did.

goodhartedmommy

I'd keep quiet. I got really bad reactions to Arabella before she was born, but now everyone loves it. Not many people know our name choice is Maile this time.

WBs_Bride

Wait. Once the baby is there and named, they'll be less likely to make negative comments or suggest other names.

meldoo2002

I would wait.   There is nothing they can do or say once the child is born.  But it could be a long couple of months if they decided to try to change your name choice now.

stcroixbride

we chose to wait until after DD was born.  We didn't share our list of possible choices with anyone, even though we had a LOT of family pressure since there were 3 babies on the way at the same time (my 2 older cousins were expecting)

I have just found MOST people will not be rude about a name choice once it is already on a birth certificate.  Beforehand, you'll get opinions on any name you talk about.

My mom ruined the name choices we had before we even TTC by making hideous faces at all of them.  That pretty much made it easy NOT to tell her during my pregnancy what names we were thinking of.

knmommy

No one knew our girls names until they were born.  I wasn't going to have people telling me that they didn't like our names.  I would wait, then you don't have to listen to anyone.  JMO