s/o Time magazine article

jmlushbough · May 2012

I went to Target today wearing my 5-month old daughter in a Didymos wrap. No big deal -- I wear her all the time, and I usually get really positive comments or questions from people.

After all this Time magazine hubbub, for the first time ever, I felt a little self-conscious about wearing my child. The thought crossed my mind that there may be people out there that saw the cover, heard the media spin about AP, and then looked at me as some kind of wacko. And I'm not usually one to place a lot of value on what strangers think about my parenting choices, but still... the thought was there.

I will say, I let that thought go just about as quickly as it had entered my mind, but it did bug me. Thoughts?

Also, please note that I'm not saying AP parents are wackos... I'm saying that someone who just sees this article and knows nothing else of AP may decide to judge AP parents as wackos.

MommyLuvsMe1210 · May 2012

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

devotchka81 · May 2012

I have to say - I'm glad I live in California. I feel like it's so commonplace to wear your baby or NIP here that I don't even think twice about it when I see someone and now that I have a baby, I will be very comfortable wearing him in public. Hopefully the rest of the country mellows out about this stuff and people will be less judgy in the future and allow us to do what we need to do to comfort our little ones

Harper'smom · May 2012

MommyLuvsMe1210:
***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

MommyLuvsMe1210 · May 2012

Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

GibsonGirl620 · May 2012

MommyLuvsMe1210:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

I'm willing to bet you that some of your views on parenting will change, at least a little, once you become a parent. No offense, but it is all very abstract when you are pregnant. GL with everything.

GibsonGirl620 · May 2012

OP- Yes, I agree with you. I usually look forward to BWing in public b/c people are so fascinated and always stop to say hello to my LO. He loves it. But the thought did cross my mind that those same people may side-eye me now. It won't bother me enough to not BW, but it's a shame.

Harper'smom · May 2012

MommyLuvsMe1210:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

I'm not offended :-). Many children speak in full sentences very early so I just find speech and several of the other developmental milestones that people gauge the appropriateness of EBFing against to be arbitrary.

Since you are interested in AP you may be interested in the literature that suggests this type of parenting promotes confident, secure, and independent children. I'm not big on any particular parenting theories and was one of those people who did what felt natural as a parent and then found out not everyone did the same things. Then I found out there were "others" like me and people who are very anti my way of parenting which was weird at first.

I can't bring up the text right now but the AAP states that there is no evidence to suggest nursing past 3 or 4 causes any emotional damage. It is a valid thing to worry about as a lot of parents want to do everything "right". You can't put parenting in a nice neat box though because, in my experience thus far, it tends to get messy and there is more grey than black and white.

*sorry to hijack the thread*

nekorayne · May 2012

Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

I'm not offended :-). Many children speak in full sentences very early so I just find speech and several of the other developmental milestones that people gauge the appropriateness of EBFing against to be arbitrary.
Since you are interested in AP you may be interested in the literature that suggests this type of parenting promotes confident, secure, and independent children. I'm not big on any particular parenting theories and was one of those people who did what felt natural as a parent and then found out not everyone did the same things. Then I found out there were "others" like me and people who are very anti my way of parenting which was weird at first.
I can't bring up the text right now but the AAP states that there is no evidence to suggest nursing past 3 or 4 causes any emotional damage. It is a valid thing to worry about as a lot of parents want to do everything "right". You can't put parenting in a nice neat box though because, in my experience thus far, it tends to get messy and there is more grey than black and white.
*sorry to hijack the thread*

You don't have a child yet so don't say never. My SIL said she would never BF past one and was grossed out that her husbands sister BF to 2 or 3. She BF my niece tell almost 4 and it was HARD for her to wean her. She said that she was so wrong to say it was gross and that it was one of the best things she ever did. She then said never say never and sometimes the thing that you say you never will do ends up being something that is really good for your LO and you.

I know a little girl who can ask for things at 18 months. She uses sentences sometimes. She is a smart cookie.

And what is wrong with wearing an older kid? I mean if you say the stroller is ok at a certain age then why would it not be ok to pop then in a carrier instead of dragging a stroller in? As long as both child and parent love BW and is still comfortable why should they stop? How does a stroller foster independence anyway? If you put it that way maybe they should be walking.... does it matter if the kid is walking, in a stroller, or in a wrap? As long as the kid and parent are happy?

Sorry I just hate the term "cut the cord" because it seems so negative. Example: Sue has a VERY independent child (lets say 2 and a half just for this) who has one "vise". Every day aftyer lunch she crawls into her mamas lap and BF. Her mama stairs into her daughters eyes and thye communicate and maybe read books. They use that time to reconnect.. That child only does it once a day and the rest of the day the child plays well independently and be excited to try new things. The child is adventurese and wants to play with others.

Sue would still get "cut the cord already" simply for BF while a child. Even if her child is an independent kid and gets time away from mama

Sally's child is always following her and does not BF. She cries the second her mom is not holding her hand. Sally never lets that kids out of her site. No one says anything.Every day after lunch they play cars together and read books...reconnecting for the day.

Neither parent is right or wrong and all kids are different. They are both reconnecting with thier kids and have a special thing. But why is the independent child's moms being told to "cut the cord"? Simply because she she BF.

Almost all kids have something special with mom....what is wrong with it being BF.. It is hardly "clamping the chord" just because you share something with your kid that is different then what others might. If I have no problem with moms who don't BF past one of formula feed since day 1 why should I be told to cut the cord all the time?

What is weird to you is normal to me....and tell you BF a toddler you don't know what it is like just like I don't know what it is like to BF a preschooler so I don't judge. My son is about to be 2 and we BF with no end in sight for the record.

And did you know that even adults in Mongolia drink breast milk? Like I said what is normal to you is not normal for someone else.

MAMAxB · May 2012

nekorayne:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

I'm not offended :-). Many children speak in full sentences very early so I just find speech and several of the other developmental milestones that people gauge the appropriateness of EBFing against to be arbitrary.
Since you are interested in AP you may be interested in the literature that suggests this type of parenting promotes confident, secure, and independent children. I'm not big on any particular parenting theories and was one of those people who did what felt natural as a parent and then found out not everyone did the same things. Then I found out there were "others" like me and people who are very anti my way of parenting which was weird at first.
I can't bring up the text right now but the AAP states that there is no evidence to suggest nursing past 3 or 4 causes any emotional damage. It is a valid thing to worry about as a lot of parents want to do everything "right". You can't put parenting in a nice neat box though because, in my experience thus far, it tends to get messy and there is more grey than black and white.
*sorry to hijack the thread*
You don't have a child yet so don't say never. My SIL said she would never BF past one and was grossed out that her husbands sister BF to 2 or 3. She BF my niece tell almost 4 and it was HARD for her to wean her. She said that she was so wrong to say it was gross and that it was one of the best things she ever did. She then said never say never and sometimes the thing that you say you never will do ends up being something that is really good for your LO and you.
I know a little girl who can ask for things at 18 months. She uses sentences sometimes. She is a smart cookie.
And what is wrong with wearing an older kid? I mean if you say the stroller is ok at a certain age then why would it not be ok to pop then in a carrier instead of dragging a stroller in? As long as both child and parent love BW and is still comfortable why should they stop? How does a stroller foster independence anyway? If you put it that way maybe they should be walking.... does it matter if the kid is walking, in a stroller, or in a wrap? As long as the kid and parent are happy?
Sorry I just hate the term "cut the cord" because it seems so negative. Example: Sue has a VERY independent child (lets say 2 and a half just for this) who has one "vise". Every day aftyer lunch she crawls into her mamas lap and BF. Her mama stairs into her daughters eyes and thye communicate and maybe read books. They use that time to reconnect.. That child only does it once a day and the rest of the day the child plays well independently and be excited to try new things. The child is adventurese and wants to play with others.
Sue would still get "cut the cord already" simply for BF while a child. Even if her child is an independent kid and gets time away from mama
Sally's child is always following her and does not BF. She cries the second her mom is not holding her hand. Sally never lets that kids out of her site. No one says anything.Every day after lunch they play cars together and read books...reconnecting for the day.
Neither parent is right or wrong and all kids are different. They are both reconnecting with thier kids and have a special thing. But why is the independent child's moms being told to "cut the cord"? Simply because she she BF.
Almost all kids have something special with mom....what is wrong with it being BF.. It is hardly "clamping the chord" just because you share something with your kid that is different then what others might. If I have no problem with moms who don't BF past one of formula feed since day 1 why should I be told to cut the cord all the time?
What is weird to you is normal to me....and tell you BF a toddler you don't know what it is like just like I don't know what it is like to BF a preschooler so I don't judge. My son is about to be 2 and we BF with no end in sight for the record.
And did you know that even adults in Mongolia drink breast milk? Like I said what is normal to you is not normal for someone else.

you rock nekorayne

also i agree with what harpersmom said.

to the OP - I'm in the midwest where ANYTHING crunchy/AP gets the MAJOR side eye. I honestly welcome it because I think people are seriously misinformed by choosing the raise their kids "mainstream"... I don't think everyone should be 100% AP but so many people here don't even KNOW the benefits of it and think it's WRONG when I believe (because I took time to research and did what felt natural) that it's actually the better way to parent.

kas80 · May 2012

I always get stares when I'm babywearing. It's just not that common. In fact I get more stares then I do NIP. I haven't noticed it being any different since the Time article but I will be wearing her at the farmers market tomorrow so we'll see.

TheMrs1009 · May 2012

Eh, it doesn't bother me what people think. People will always find something to judge you about. If they want to put me in a box based on a magazine article on AP, fine by me. Just don't say something ignorant and we're cool.

webMistress0609 · May 2012

MommyLuvsMe1210:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

Ari could speak in 4-5 word sentences at 10 months. Some kids have delays & can't speak more than a few words until they are 3+. He self weaned a week shy of 23 months & had the language skills of a 4+ year old at that point. Most ppl with even slightly AP or even just BF friendly leanings would agree that self weaning before 2 is not a crazy long time to nurse. Language should not be a barometer of nursing.

Also, sometimes older kiddos need a break after a lot of walking. For a child under 6, every step you take equals 2-3 for them. Ari walks more than the average kid I see his age, but he still needs a break to hop up in the stroller or (gasp!!) carrier after we've walked a lot. Granted, I think the majority of kids should get way more exercise than they do, but to say a kid who can walk a lot should never be carried or hop in the stroller for a little bit is totally asinine.

Before you judge & say that the parent isn't allowing their kid to venture out on their own, get a clue about child development, both mental & physical.

PunkyBooster · May 2012

fredalina:
I felt that way a bit when the sling of death was banned and in the news. Especially when strangers would approach and tell me they saw on the news that wearing your baby was very dangerous (never mind it was a totally different kind of carrier, not even a sling). It didn't last too long .

This.

The only weird things I got from people in the early days were warnings that I would suffocate DS by wearing him. And something about breaking his hips.

Ardmhs83 · May 2012

GibsonGirl620:
MommyLuvsMe1210:
Harper'smom:
MommyLuvsMe1210:

***lurking from 1st tri****

for me AP is something i'm very interested in, but there is a fine line between AP and just simply needing to cut the umbilical cord..

that "3 year old" (who CLEARLY looked at least 6, easily) who is continuing to breastfeed is a little much. children who can walk TO the stroller and climb in and strap themselfves in is a bit much. children who still have bottles/pacifiers past the age of 4 is a BIT too much (for me personally)

but on the same token, its all up to the parent. no one really has the right to TELL you how to raise your kids, but you have to respect that not everyone shares your opinion or view on your parenting methods.

but that's just me.

Kids can climb into their strollers before they are 18mos. They can "ask" to nurse by signing around 8 or 9 months. My newborn clearly asks to nurse so the "ask for it" saying seems to make sense to people who don't have or remember having kids. I thought the same thing before I found the love for toddler nursing. DD was nursed for 28mos and she wasn't too old. I'm happy that our weaning process was gentle and progressed naturally. I don't care how long anyone else nurses for but a lot of people questioned what worked for my child *shrugs*. Oh well.

when i said "ask" i meant whole sentences.

when i said walk and climb in i meant like feet almost dragging out (i also live in CA, i've seen it all..)

but like i also said, no one has the right to tell a mother how and when to do anything with her children. its just a personal prefrence for me. children should very well be allowed (and encouraged) to feel ready to venture out and try new things on their own without too much societal pressure, but FOR ME (just me) i would just be cautious of creating unhealthy dependent behaviors.

**note, this is coming from an EXTREMELY independent individual since birth... i dont mean to offend anyone by this, i just felt like all sides should be fairly presented**

I'm willing to bet you that some of your views on parenting will change, at least a little, once you become a parent. No offense, but it is all very abstract when you are pregnant. GL with everything.

I use to view nursing and a lot of other things differently before I was a mom. I EBF my son for 9 months and only quit b/c of certain PPD/PPA meds that I couldn't take while nursing. I would still be nursing my 21 month old, if I could. If you have never nursed then you REALLY HAVE NO IDEA how it feels! My views have changed a lot. IMO, nurse your child as long as you want to! And ppl need to realize breast are for feeding babies/children...not a mans sex object!

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