Vent (pg mentioned, not mine)

mollywobbles13

A girl I used to be friends with (kicked her out of my wedding because she was such a b**ch to everyone) is pregnant. I CAN'T STAND HER!! I feel like she is the most evil person on the face of this planet and every single thing is handed to her in life. My DH is friends with her husband (they served in Iraq together) and I'm still Facebook friends with him. I've seen a few posts about her and the pregnancy via facebook and it freaking kills me. A woman who was on the brink of divorce, found out her best friend was pregnant and decided she needed a baby too still has her baby safe and sound in her tummy. I could probably go on and on about this woman and how much her life angers me, but that would take way too long to type. I just blocked her husbands posts, so no more worrying about that.I just don't know how to get over being so incredibly jealous of her being pregnant. There is no one else that bugs me as much as her and for some reason her pregnancy upsets me the most. Anyone else have these feelings towards anyone? How do you handle it?

pb127

Oh YES! The meanest person I know has two little ones. I hate her and her stupid family. She is by far the biggest b!tch I know and while two of my wonderful friends have struggled so much to have their 2nd, she had her 2nd  like it's nothing.  To add insult to injury, the b told one friend that she should get mental help (b/c she's a loss mom).  No one else's pregnancies have bugged me as much as her's.  I manage to be happy for everyone else, cheer them on, etc.  I just don't understand a world where this huge b can have TWO take home babies and I have 0.

I don't have much advice in handling these feeilngs other than deleting/hiding them on FB and trying to avoid them IRL as much as possible. (((hugs)))

mollywobbles13

Thank you for your honesty. It's really good no know I'm not the only one in a similar situation. I was feeling bad for disliking her so much, but your response really made me feel better, so again a giant THANK YOU!

 And the B you know sounds like she's the one who really needs the help!

dexnmav

 I had a similar vent and my friend said, "You know, I prayed this would not make you more bitter of a person. We are already a bitter bunch." But it's so hard to not be. I never thought we'd in the conversation about "that lovely couple that can't have kids....it's so sad." 

How do I handle it? I'm sure flames or lasers burst from my eyes and I grind my teeth and I do everything in my power to not give someone a high-five, in the face, with a chair.  Please forgive my snarky-ness; I am bitter. 

mollywobbles13

LOL I would LOVE to high five this girl in the face with a chair!! Thank you for that, it put a big smile on my face.

weddedwife

I think your feelings are normal. I find myself even jealous of good people. Friends, who are not train wrecks, who are relatively decent people. They got to keep their babies and I didn't.

When I told this to a close friend, she pointed something out to me. There is a difference between jealousy & envy. Jealousy is a raw, human, natural emotion to circumstances but it doesn't mean you wish to take something away from someone else, however, that is precisely what envy is. Envy is destructive and unkind. Would you want to have your baby safe & sound like she does and be oblivious to this kind of pain? Surely. But do you want her baby? Would you want her life, to be her? Probably not. I believe that people who have jealousy and are honest about it can avoid being envious. It's similar to thinking about hurting someone as opposed to actually doing it. They both bring guilt or bad feelings but one causes far more wreckage.

rlajambe

I know how you feel.  For me it's not so much the mean, b!tchy people that make me angry, but the neglectful twits that go pregnant by accident.  I'm fine with someone being pregnant, so long as they take proper care of the children once they have them.

 I have a lot of twits in my extended family that are currently being monitored by children's aid for neglect.  One can't even be bothered to get a safe apartment to get their child out of foster care.  That ticks me off. I just want to smack them and shake the stupid out of them.

mollywobbles13

weddedwife, thank you for those words. I wouldn't trade lives with her for anything. I honestly feel like she's such a B word because she's very unhappy with certain things in her life. I love my life, I would love it even more if our DD was still with us but having those 9 months with her insde me I wouldn't trade for the world. I was feeling really upset about feeling jealous that she is still with child, but your words have comforted me greatly. I'm not feeling as guilty about having those feelings anymore knowing that it's natural to have.

medblais

I did have those feelings, and I'm not over it. Just two days after my daughter died, a coworker texted me "Sorry for your loss. I am concerned about my brief exposure so I need to know what she died of." She was concerned because she was pregnant, as if I wouldn't have shared the info immediately if it was contagious. And the back story makes my hatred for her worse. She cried for a couple weeks after she found out she was pregnant because the baby was an accident and she was too selfish for a baby (her words) and she didnt want a baby. She also has a step son that she treats like ***. She did not take care of herself when she was pregnant, had that baby all over the place at just days old, but her baby is fine. She's just a lazy, selfish person that makes me sick to see every day. I hate her. And throughout this journey of grief, I have focused a lot of anger on her. I realize some is warranted, and some is not. I feel like I am such a better mom, and I know how judgemental and evil that sounds, but I can't get past it, because I did everything right, and my baby died. Why does she get to keep hers?