Something you can never get back (vent NBR)

katybug499

I've only just calmed down but I wanted to get the opinions of the board.  Here's what happened:

Today was DS's last day of preschool.  The school sent home a notice that they were doing an end of year program that the kids have been working on with songs and dances.  Our son's class was the last to perform from 11:40-noon.  This morning, when DH and I dropped off DS at school, we clarified with the office, yes, 11:40 until noon.

To be safe, I got a half day personal day at work and had DH come get me at 11 and we were at the school at 11:20.  When we walked into the building, it was chaos.  Kids were crying, moms were crying, DS was at the back of the room alone with puffy eyes.  We ran over to him but he has speech issues which just makes it hard for him to speak to express himself and he just clung to my husband while I looked for a teacher to find out what the heck was going on.

Apparently, the principal of the preschool decided that the program was ready to begin at 10:30.  So that's when they did it.  Only about 5 sets of parents from DS's class were actually able to see it.  All the kids who didn't see their parents just assumed that they were forgotten, including DS who was looking forward to showing us this program for weeks.  I finally got my cry in when we got DS home and tucked in for a nap (because he'd been sobbing and wore himself out) but I'm still so angry I don't know what to do.  We'll never get this back, even if a parent happens to have taped it and share with everyone who missed it, it's not the same.

Just don't know where to go from here because all action just seems pointless.  It doesn't matter who I yell at because, like I said, there's just no getting that moment in DS's life back. 

christieep

I can't even imagine how mad you (and the other parents) are.  That is so ridiculous and everyone deserves a good cry.  I don't have any advice because the logistics of re-doing the program are probably prohibitive.  I would at least call the principal and express your disappointment (and encourage other parents to do so also).  He/she needs to know that is kind of action is not acceptable in the future.

missusbee

Ohh this breaks my heart. I'm tearing up just thinking about it! Your poor little boy, and his classmates who felt the same.

Definitely express your feelings to the principal. Even if there is no recourse, they need to know that they effed this up. 

Poor babies. 

dani2480

I would absolutely contact the school's director/principal (and if there is someone above him/her, I'd contact them too).

It seems pretty crazy to me that the principal made a decision that resulted in an outcome for these little children that may have been traumatic. A small child likely won't be able to fully and accurately comprehend why their parents didn't show up to their performance. Instead, they may internalize it as something way worse and personal. Totally not a cool or smart decision on the part of someone who should be an expert in dealing with small children. It sounds to me like the principal did this more for his/her own convenience, than taking the children into consideration.

kiwi625

missusbee:

Ohh this breaks my heart. I'm tearing up just thinking about it! Your poor little boy, and his classmates who felt the same.

Definitely express your feelings to the principal. Even if there is no recourse, they need to know that they effed this up. 

Poor babies. 

This! 

mandalinn25

Gah! What a horrible decision to make. I am so sorry. 

pnf112208

I hope your DS gets to put on a one-man show for you.  So sorry, mama-- I would be livid too. 

snickersforeveryone

How horrible!  I can't believe they made that decision in the first place, but especially that they didn't even contact you about the change!

Is there any way that you and the other parents could ask for the program to be done again?  And THIS time, no time changes??? 

Your poor son...you should definitely at least express your anger to the school so that this doesn't happen again.

shawnie13

That is just, well, awful.  Your poor little guy, I am just heartbroken for him, as well as pissed off on your behalf.  Maybe you guys can do something fun/special today when he wakes up to cheer you both up?

clhali

I would be so mad! Especially having to take time off work. That is rude and disrespectful of the school!

katybug499

Thank you all for your words!  At least now I know that I wasn't just overreacting from the pregnancy hormones.  It really makes no sense to me why they would send out notice that something so many parents would want to see would be at a certain time and then just...do it when they were ready!  I definitely will be a (professionally behaved) thorn in that principals side until there's some sort of formal apology at the very least!

doggie mama

That *** of a principle should have to be the one to explain to all the kids that its not their fault the parents didn't show up, it was his/her mistake.

ksallgrownup2

I'm so sorry!! I would be beyond livid with the school.  I am one of those letter/email people who would vent frustrations out on paper and then rewrite to send to the school. If there was the option to not send my child back to that preschool, they wouldn't be going back.  If they are careless about the time that they have already predetermined for the program and the reprocussions it will have not only on the parents but more importantly the children, what else are they careless about?

Hopefully one of the parents got it on tape and you guys can watch it together and praise your DS for doing such a good job.

OUKatie

This principal is a moron. I can't even fathom why any sane person would make such a decision, much less one who purports to know anything about child development.

I would be extremely upset and would be quite vocal about it. Is this a private preschool? I would be complaining to the owners/corporate as well as the principal.

Do you have contact info for the parents? Maybe you guys could organize a simple End of the Year get together and the kids can perform at that. 

smalpotato

I'm delurking becaue I'm so mad at the school. (I tried cleaning the kitchen to calm down, but nope, I'm mad). That is totally unacceptable.  I get that the principal made a bad decision, but nobody stopped it!  Not to take the blame off of the principal, but there were teachers and other parents there, right?  Why didn't somebody step up and say it was a bad idea.  I feel so sorry for the kids and parents.  I would write a letter since I'm not good at yelling but please let them know that they messed up.

ashleyann331

eafogel:

How horrible!  I can't believe they made that decision in the first place, but especially that they didn't even contact you about the change!

Is there any way that you and the other parents could ask for the program to be done again?  And THIS time, no time changes??? 

Your poor son...you should definitely at least express your anger to the school so that this doesn't happen again.

This. I would get a mob together (a parent mob is much scarier than any other kind of mob lol) and DEMAND that they let the kids redo the program.