*Intro* New to 2under2...but not freaking out yet [should I be?]

herlysgirly

Hi ladies!  I just found this board, and am excited to be joining you!  I am due September 7th, and DD will be 20 months old.

I have heard so many people comment on how hard it is going to be, and how I am going to be SO busy/hands full... etc etc.  Is it really that bad?  For some reason ~ I'm not freaked out yet   ...but I still have 17 weeks to go!

There are a couple things in the back of my mind, like:

a) We still cosleep with our 16 month old DD [moved her toddler bed to the foot of our bed, and sometimes she sleeps in it, sometimes with us].

b) She is still nursing at bedtime [I used to say I'd never tandem - but now I'm kinda secretly looking forward to it!  Lol!  ...she has basically cut down by herself to just once before bed - every other night or so].

c) I only have 20 more work days [kindergarten teacher] until summer, and am going to be a SAHM from then on out, so I feel like this is going to be totally do-able for me, without having to lose my sanity.  Do I need  a reality check?

  Thanks again, and I can't wait to catch up on some of your posts and get some tips/ideas for what is to come!!

 

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kcisthebombdotcom

Welcome and congrats!

For me, it wasn't really that bad. Clearly not because we're planning on another LO.

I can't speak of breastfeeding because I was not nursing when I got pregnant, but we did bedshare with my oldest both through the pregnancy and beyond. It was totally doable. I had the baby between myself/a bedrail and my older child between DH and I.

I also SAH and it's definitely doable. Most of the time I do feel like I have my sanity (not so much this week, because both toddlers are cutting molars at the same time. lol!).

CaitlinJ22

very doable, I describe it as a logistical nightmare for a few weeks (who to tend to first, who to buckle first etc) and then all is fine. yes I have my hands full, but I love it that way. 

celiabwatson

I honestly didn't worry too much about it beforehand. Many people were telling me that it's hard at first and then gets easier around 8 months in. My experience with my first though was that for me parenting gets harder when they're mobile. So far that's been true. Having two isn't as hard now as people claimed it would be, but it's getting harder, not easier, as the little one gets older.

We didn't cosleep anymore when I was pregnant because it was uncomfortable for me. My son transitioned well to sleeping in his own room. He had been starting the night in there for a while and it was just a matter of comforting him in there when he woke and then going back to bed. You know what works for you though and I think it's fine to continue cosleeping when you're expecting, I have a friend who is doing that now.

I am tandem nursing my two. My son had also cut down to just once or twice a day before the baby came. However, when the baby came he was back at it full force. He would ask to nurse when the baby was, but also at other random times. For me it was important to allow him to nurse whenever he wanted at first so that he didn't feel like the baby was taking that away from him. After about a month or so he was able to accept an answer of no when he asked to nurse. He has since started eating solid food more regularly and nursing for shorter times and less frequently. It's still more than it was before the baby came but I honestly love tandem. It's so sweet to have both my babies snuggled up happily nursing. If you have any more questions about tandem I'd be happy to help.

I was a teacher before as well. I continued teaching after #1 was born but stopped with #2. For me it has been easier to just be home because teaching is such a demanding job. I was bringing work home so not only did I have a limited amount of time at home but I was using about half of it working. However, it has not been as easy as I expected to be home with two. One big difference is that we're at home all day (or at least at mealtimes etc) so there are more dishes, more toys all over the place etc. We used to go days without taking out toys and now they're all over the floor every day. Things like that were a little unexpected. Overall though I'm happier and more relaxed than when I was teaching. Oh, and with 2 you don't necessarily get a break at all because their naps don't necessarily overlap. At least when I was working I had the commute to relax a bit. 

MAMAxB

I'm like you. 1 and 2 are 20 months apart and I was always excited and still love it Obviously it's work but that doesn't outweigh the joy and fun that having kids brings. I think too many people focus on the negative aspects and what "didn't work for them"... To me, having two (or more) close together isn't weird. it's what we want and planned!

herlysgirly

celiabwatson:

I am tandem nursing my two. My son had also cut down to just once or twice a day before the baby came. However, when the baby came he was back at it full force. He would ask to nurse when the baby was, but also at other random times. For me it was important to allow him to nurse whenever he wanted at first so that he didn't feel like the baby was taking that away from him. After about a month or so he was able to accept an answer of no when he asked to nurse. He has since started eating solid food more regularly and nursing for shorter times and less frequently. It's still more than it was before the baby came but I honestly love tandem. It's so sweet to have both my babies snuggled up happily nursing. If you have any more questions about tandem I'd be happy to help.

I was a teacher before as well. I continued teaching after #1 was born but stopped with #2. For me it has been easier to just be home because teaching is such a demanding job. I was bringing work home so not only did I have a limited amount of time at home but I was using about half of it working. However, it has not been as easy as I expected to be home with two. One big difference is that we're at home all day (or at least at mealtimes etc) so there are more dishes, more toys all over the place etc. We used to go days without taking out toys and now they're all over the floor every day. Things like that were a little unexpected. Overall though I'm happier and more relaxed than when I was teaching. Oh, and with 2 you don't necessarily get a break at all because their naps don't necessarily overlap. At least when I was working I had the commute to relax a bit. 

 

Thanks so much ladies!  It's great to hear of good experiences once in a while - not just the "warnings" and "advice" from people who want to scare you!  They act like I didn't realize it would be harder to have two than one.  Yeah, I get that - that's what I signed up for and what I wanted, thanks! 

 I definitely might have more questions about tandem nursing as I go along.  I feel like it might help, not only with DD not feeling "replaced," but also with the two of them being close.  DH and my SIL were not - and are still not very close at all.  I'm extremely close to all three of my siblings... and can only hope that I can help my own children to experience the same closeness in their relationships! 

Is it REALLY overwhelming when the older one starts nursing frequently because the new baby does?  I knew this was going to happen, but haven't given a lot of thought to it yet.  Perhaps I should start reading up about tandem nursing just so I'm a little more prepared?

I understand what you mean about their being more mess, etc.  I'm used to leaving a clean house and coming home to at least some mess because my sister has been watching DD in our home.  [I know - I'm extremely lucky that she does this!] I get frustrated sometimes because I was at work all day and still come home to a mess - but hey, my daughter is having fun with her aunt and that's what matters.  I just hope I have the energy to play with, and clean up after her while taking care of a newborn at the same time!  

I'm so glad to see you say that you're happier and more relaxed, despite the difficulties there are with such young ones.  This is what I'm hoping for and looking forward to!