FFFC

Phantomgirl

I am in a p!ssy mood today.

I had a really tough therapy session last night and I am feeling completely vulnerable and wide open today.  I didn't sleep well last night.  I run from vulnerability straight into anger so I know what I'm doing and what I need to do to not do it (does that make sense?).  BUT for some reason I seem to be 'enjoying' wallowing in it.

This morning DH told me BM called him and she wants to change visitation again this weekend.  He asked me what I thought and I replied...

' why don't you just get with her and decide and let me know what my f**n plans for the weekend are as usual'.

Then I left for work.

This was totally unfair.  DH NEVER agrees to anything with her without talking to me first.

:::sigh::: I know I have to apologise to him but I keep justifying it in my head.

There is a confirmation tomorrow and I have to drop SS in to BMs at 9.30am and collect him after it.  Wouldn't BM have known that weeks ago?  I already have toher plans, BUT SS will want to go to the confirmation.

Anyhow I will apologise to DH for my outburst.

Also this real estate agent has let me down three times now.  If he calls me today I seriously might go off on him.  I'm fuming at him right now.

Or I might take an early lunch and cry

Just when I think I have dealt with everything from my childhood something rocks me. 

Ilumine

Phantom - I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING going on in June.  Come see me. 

CurlyQ284

DH and I have started our child care search.  I planned on in-home for financial reasons but after seeing a center, changed my mind.  We will now be broke but this kid will be where Im comfortable.  The flameful part, my BFF and SIL have offered to nanny and my boss volunteered his wife and Im annoyed.  SIL wants to move in, we have tried that before she threw stuff at my head, not going there again. I cant afford to pay any of them minimum wage to watch my kid it would cost more than a center. Both said that was ok, but they will resent me at some point so Im not doing it.  I sound bratty but I never expected to have any help and now Im having to argue with all these people that I dont want to argue with that will not take no for an answer.

socloudy99

BM#1 is still mad b/c we don't agree with her moving in her bf after meeting him a month ago.

She only texts/calls like twice a week now. She normally calls/texts several times a day. She text my H "notice I haven't been calling or texting much lately"

The FFFC is OF COURSE WE DID AND WE LOVE IT!

It is so funny that she thinks this is a punishment or hurts our feelings. DH still talks to his kids (on their cells) every morning before school.

HE NEVER WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER 12 YEARS AGO!

I had to get that off my chest b/c it would be mean if I said it to her. She is an idiot!

socloudy99

And HUGS to Phantom! Take a half a day off work and go run to release some stress so hopefully you can enjoy your weekend!

Holly_1007

DH and BM have been "cooperating" to try to throw SD's birthday party.  pretty much BM approached DH and said I want to do xyz on fathers day weekend for SD, if you don't pay for half you and your wife can't come.

she also said 6 different times over a period of a week that she is broke/ can't afford a party unless we split it/ she has no money etc.

excuse me biatch but we send you over $600 a friggen month in child support, if WE can come up with half the birthday party then you damned well better be able to!!! 

so my fffc is that since BM decided to do a party that we think is stupid we are only giving her $50 to do it.  she told us its $11/child and there are 10 kids coming, so in reality if we split it 50/50 we should be giving her more than $50. but every suggestion we had she threw out the window.  

Ooglybear

SS's class is having a mother's day tea today. I was invited. I'm going. But part of me feels a teensy bit guilty that maybe BM would like to have this special thing with her son before her baby is born. I asked SS last night, but he said I should come b/c he already made two presents. (It wont be awkward or anything, we get along famously.)

ETA: In case anyone is wondering, the event went fine. The teacher took pics of the kids with their mom. She was going to do two individual ones for SS, but he said he wanted it all together. And they had a slideshow of each kid saying what makes their mom special. Right before it started he said "I could only do one, so I did Mommy's one. If I could do two I would do both" and I told him I understand, that it didn't hurt my feelings at all. I know he loves me, I am secure in my role in his life, and I am so glad that we've made it to this place of harmonious coparenting. 

Sigir

I guess this is not flammable, but more of a confession.  I feel really badly that as I move into the last weeks of this pregnancy I am not being as good with my dc as I normally am.  I get annoyed more often and don't have as much patience as I normally do.  I am tired and just want to lay on the couch after work instead of doing something fun with dc.  I could not sign up to be a class mom for something because it is one week away from my due date (I always sign up when I can).  I feel like I am letting my dc down, and I am worried about how my relationship/ time with dc is going to change when the baby is actually here. I always spend a lot of time doing things with dc (my dh says I go overboard actually but I enjoy it!), and I am afraid of how that is going to change and how dc is going to be able to take the change. 

kristen0393

Sigir:

I guess this is not flammable, but more of a confession.  I feel really badly that as I move into the last weeks of this pregnancy I am not being as good with my dc as I normally am.  I get annoyed more often and don't have as much patience as I normally do.  I am tired and just want to lay on the couch after work instead of doing something fun with dc.  I could not sign up to be a class mom for something because it is one week away from my due date (I always sign up when I can).  I feel like I am letting my dc down, and I am worried about how my relationship/ time with dc is going to change when the baby is actually here. I always spend a lot of time doing things with dc (my dh says I go overboard actually but I enjoy it!), and I am afraid of how that is going to change and how dc is going to be able to take the change. 

  I was worried about this with SS when I was pregnant with DS.  I think the end of pregnancy was a lot harder then having a newborn in that regard.  Having a baby will take some of your time away from DC but you'll be giving them a sibling.  My sister is still one of my very best friends.

MY FFFC- I went back to work last fall when DS was almost a year old.  I thought I wanted to work and I do like my job/company but I really miss being home with DS and more avaliable for SS.  I haven't been 100% honest with DH because I thought he wanted me to be working.  Last night he told me he would rather work more hours himself and have me home for the boys.  The flameful part- we're better off financially with me working and I would like a career once all of the kids are in school but I'd still rather be a SAHM for now.

FutureMrsWittig

I am so sick of people saying nasty things, passing it off as "honesty", and then getting defensive when I get annoyed.

For example: No MIL, I didn't realize that you could tell I was gaining back weight.  But thank you SO much for pointing that out to me.  Oh, you were just being honest?  Well okay then.  That makes it much better.

Everyone can just bite me.

Cheerilee

I'm to the point that I'm glad BM hasn't called to talk to/ask about SS in going on 6 weeks.  She's also not called/texted DH to express how much she misses "them" in 2-3 weeks.  My guess is she is 100% back to her old ways and with a new boy toy who will end up beating her (I'm NOT glad about this part).  I also am not pushing DH to tell her when we'll be back in town until we are there, whereas every other time we've gone "home" we've told her so she could rearrange her plans.  His reasoning is that if she's not going to call to ask about SS - or even to wish him a happy birthday - then he's not going out of his way to get her to see him.  It's not my job to force her to want a relationship with her son.  I wish I could adopt him.  

Ginlyn0

CurlyQ284:

DH and I have started our child care search.  I planned on in-home for financial reasons but after seeing a center, changed my mind.  We will now be broke but this kid will be where Im comfortable.  The flameful part, my BFF and SIL have offered to nanny and my boss volunteered his wife and Im annoyed.  SIL wants to move in, we have tried that before she threw stuff at my head, not going there again. I cant afford to pay any of them minimum wage to watch my kid it would cost more than a center. Both said that was ok, but they will resent me at some point so Im not doing it.  I sound bratty but I never expected to have any help and now Im having to argue with all these people that I dont want to argue with that will not take no for an answer.

Yeah, don't do it Curly. My SIL was watching DS until a month ago. She volunteered when I was pregnant and wanted to charge me only $100/week. We supplied all diapers, wipes, food, ect. She kept having appointments which she would tell us about last minute, ect. So DH or I would have to take off work with little or no notice. We started discussing putting him a center. DH lost his job and stayed home with him for 3 months. Two weeks after DH started working again, out of the blue she called and wanted to raise the price to $800/mth. DH told her we could not afford that (with DH's current much lower income but unadjusted CS) and that we could get a center for less and not have to provide food. We told her that perhaps after the CS adjusment goes through we could perhaps revisit the idea and to let us know if we needed to move him to a center. She said she understood and was fine with us staying there at the same rate. She then had another random appointment that week that which she told us about the night before. So we moved him to a center and gave her 2 weeks notice. She acted like it was no big deal to our face, but my MIL said she is really upset over it. We decided it was best to move him now even though it cost us more (the CS + childcare is higher than DH's pay) because we didn't to further ruin the relationship with SIL. I will say she was awesome with DS but we have seen huge improvements since he has been in the center.

CurlyQ284

gin9874:

CurlyQ284:

DH and I have started our child care search.  I planned on in-home for financial reasons but after seeing a center, changed my mind.  We will now be broke but this kid will be where Im comfortable.  The flameful part, my BFF and SIL have offered to nanny and my boss volunteered his wife and Im annoyed.  SIL wants to move in, we have tried that before she threw stuff at my head, not going there again. I cant afford to pay any of them minimum wage to watch my kid it would cost more than a center. Both said that was ok, but they will resent me at some point so Im not doing it.  I sound bratty but I never expected to have any help and now Im having to argue with all these people that I dont want to argue with that will not take no for an answer.

Yeah, don't do it Curly. My SIL was watching DS until a month ago. She volunteered when I was pregnant and wanted to charge me only $100/week. We supplied all diapers, wipes, food, ect. She kept having appointments which she would tell us about last minute, ect. So DH or I would have to take off work with little or no notice. We started discussing putting him a center. DH lost his job and stayed home with him for 3 months. Two weeks after DH started working again, out of the blue she called and wanted to raise the price to $800/mth. DH told her we could not afford that (with DH's current much lower income but unadjusted CS) and that we could get a center for less and not have to provide food. We told her that perhaps after the CS adjusment goes through we could perhaps revisit the idea and to let us know if we needed to move him to a center. She said she understood and was fine with us staying there at the same rate. She then had another random appointment that week that which she told us about the night before. So we moved him to a center and gave her 2 weeks notice. She acted like it was no big deal to our face, but my MIL said she is really upset over it. We decided it was best to move him now even though it cost us more (the CS + childcare is higher than DH's pay) because we didn't to further ruin the relationship with SIL. I will say she was awesome with DS but we have seen huge improvements since he has been in the center.

Oh Im not going to. We are going with a center but these people are so damn persistent and its irritating!

karleegirl

Sometimes I'm relieved when ds1 goes to his dads for the weekend. Dh and ds1's relationship can be tense at times and I feel caught in the middle. This is horrible I know. I also made a negative comment about bd to ds. I feel horrible and I apologized. Ive never in 16 years done that. I'm just sick of hearing how great bd is, how he has more money, more fun stuff etc.. It took a lot of years for bd to man up and be a half decent parent 4 days out of the month. I've been doing it since day1. Bd doesn't discipline ds at all, so I'm always the bad guy. But that's no excuse, ds doesn't deserve that.

CurlyQ284

I completely agree Mel, theres so much room for friction that could affect your private relationship. My BFF is so persistent but I adore her and I would be devastated if we got into it over this. Im all for seperation of family and money! DH says all the time "I will only pay/hire people that I have no problem sueing if it goes wrong" It came up around the wedding when we had offers for photography, decorating, food etc.

Nineoceans

I'm sorry they really need to get it together.

My vents: I'm fat. My clothes don't fit. A stupid tree crushed several very important pipes in our yard causing our basement to flood- twice. My carpet is ruined. My house now smells. The guy keeps pushing back the date he can come out and fix it. Our attorney now wants another $1k and is holding stuff hostage until we get her the money- like tomorrow. She let us know this yesterday. My insurance dude will not call me back. I'm fat. I have no patience for anyone in the world. My health insurance sucks and my out of costs for this pregnancy have been $3k so far. SO FAR!!! DH needs to stop spending money on stupid sh!t we could afford before I had all these medical bills and now cannot- or I will hurt him. I'm fat

Kaeldrasmommy

Hope things look up phantom.

Mine is...I'm checking out. I've come to the conclusion that the only way for me to cope with all this crap is to shove my personality to the background and do everything I possibly can so that I don't have to count on anyone else, because all it does is piss me off.

I told DH yesterday that if something didn't give I was going to lose my mind. He interpreted that as he could keep the kids and lose me, give up the kids and lose himself, or ask me to change so that I could deal. I made up his mind for him. I'm here, the kids are here and he can live with himself. But things will be a little different and I'm certainly not going to be myself.

So mental hiatus here I come. I'll leave the rest of me behind to run the errands and clean the house. DH always wanted the happy to keep things clean and organized SAHM that loves to cook type anyway.