I think this is where this should go [vent]

ShelbehhRawrr

Call me stupid, or dumb... or not thinking fully about my child but I need to vent.

 

BD and I were together for 6 months, I got pregnant at 2 months (not proud) and we went on in our relationship. Until I found out that he had been cheating on me through the months that I was too sick, or too tired to 'make him happy'.

We had broken up and about a month and a half later (and still trying to get over him) someone who i have known for quite a while told me that he had feelings for me from our previous history (about a year and a half ago) and told me that he started rehab (for reasons I will not say) and that he wanted to be apart of mine and my Soon to be daughters lives.  we went on a few dates just to make sure he wasn't lying and really wanted to be there. It appeared that he did. 3 weeks later. and he relapsed. and decided a kid was too much, and that he was a druggie, and that was all he would ever be.

 

I'm a mess. I don't want a lecture or speech on how I should have been smarter, or don't jump into relationships so quickly.

I just needed to let that out. 

JCGreene85

Your first sentence says "don't call me stupid or dumb" and then at the bottom you say you don't want a lecture... Are you on drugs also? Does someone else want to take the lead on this one? 

ShelbehhRawrr

it was meant to say dont call me... very funny that you would say something reffering to anything meaning im a... what? druggie mom? ive never done a drug in my life. that being said. i dont need snarky comments. i just wanted to vent.

getfuzzytoo

I hope things work out for you. I'm in a similar situation, with a husband. I should have seen the signs, it was 7 years. so it doesn't matter if you know someone for a day or a lifetime, you never know who they really are, and it hurts all the same. Stay strong for your baby, that's what i'm trying to do. it's so hard, but these "men" aren't worth the time and stress, especially if it's so easy to replace us with other women. So sad.

ShelbehhRawrr

getfuzzytoo@aol.com:

I hope things work out for you. I'm in a similar situation, with a husband. I should have seen the signs, it was 7 years. so it doesn't matter if you know someone for a day or a lifetime, you never know who they really are, and it hurts all the same. Stay strong for your baby, that's what i'm trying to do. it's so hard, but these "men" aren't worth the time and stress, especially if it's so easy to replace us with other women. So sad.

 

Thank you, I hope you feel better too. good luck as well. 

achase123

I understand being a jumble of emotions.  It's interesting when you're with someone who is abusive, manipulative and an addict.  We do things that would seem completely and totally crazy.  I've been there, done that.

My biggest sugestion to you would be to heal yourself and stay far, far away from your ex.  Get into counseling and read up about manipulation and addiction. 

"He's Just No Good For You: Your Guide to Getting Out of a Destructive Relationship"

"The Manipulative Man"

and "Why Does he Do That?  Inside the Minds of Angry, Controlling Men"

My XH was cheating on me and addicted to drugs when I left him at eight months pg.  I did things that I am certainly not proud of (like giving him 4,309 chances, begging him to stay, etc) because I was so twisted and manipulated.  The point is that until you heal yourself, you will be subject and vulnerable not just to HIM but to other men like him. 

Hugs to you, and here's to hoping that you allow yourself to heal and get strong.  You will have to coparent with him and so the best thing you can do is become immune to him and his advances.  Feel free to pm me for my blog if you want.  I talk about all of this in it. 

ShelbehhRawrr

achase123:

I understand being a jumble of emotions.  It's interesting when you're with someone who is abusive, manipulative and an addict.  We do things that would seem completely and totally crazy.  I've been there, done that.

My biggest sugestion to you would be to heal yourself and stay far, far away from your ex.  Get into counseling and read up about manipulation and addiction. 

"He's Just No Good For You: Your Guide to Getting Out of a Destructive Relationship"

"The Manipulative Man"

and "Why Does he Do That?  Inside the Minds of Angry, Controlling Men"

My XH was cheating on me and addicted to drugs when I left him at eight months pg.  I did things that I am certainly not proud of (like giving him 4,309 chances, begging him to stay, etc) because I was so twisted and manipulated.  The point is that until you heal yourself, you will be subject and vulnerable not just to HIM but to other men like him. 

Hugs to you, and here's to hoping that you allow yourself to heal and get strong.  You will have to coparent with him and so the best thing you can do is become immune to him and his advances.  Feel free to pm me for my blog if you want.  I talk about all of this in it. 

 

Thank you so much, I did beg him to stay, and try and help him realize what he was missing and not going to be a part of :. but his brother, who is an even worse addict changed his 3 week sober mindset and he relapsed. : 

achase123

ShelbehhRawrr:

Thank you so much, I did beg him to stay, and try and help him realize what he was missing and not going to be a part of :. but his brother, who is an even worse addict changed his 3 week sober mindset and he relapsed. : 

His brother isn't responsible for his actions.  Only HE is responsible for himself.  It sounds like another book that might be good for you is "Codependent No More" it talks about not making excuses for addicts and not enabling them.  Al-anon is also really good.  I promise you, YOU need and should do work on yourself so that you do not keep choosing this type of man.