....:: ~ {.TTCAL "Newbie" Check-In.} ~ ::....

KacyChicago

Hey ladies! Hope you're having a great day! Welcome to the NEW TTCAL "Newbie" Check-In. Instead of this only being a one-day conversation, from now on, I'm going to continue to post the link for several days, so feel free to come back and ask any questions you may need to! I'll be checking this post every day until next Thursday, and getting back to you all ASAP! And please let me know if I missed you checking in last week, so I can make sure I get to you.

Don't take it personal if I can't get back to you guys today, as I'm going to really be taking advantage of the few days to post! Ha. Someone left a magazine off of our production schedule this week, so I'm having to design the whole thing by tomorrow (in addition to my normal work) so things are NUTS in my life. But, thankfully, just a bit exciting trying to get it all done! I need to check back in with my July mommas, and then I'm all yours!

This is a weekly check in for the newer members of the board ... So, if you are new to TTCAL, please feel free to join us here.

Welcome to Trying to Conceive After Loss!

I'm so sorry for your loss but am happy you have found us. This board is full of brilliant and kind women who have experienced the hardship of losing that which is most precious, and I hope you find great comfort and support here in your journey to your rainbow baby.

For those of you so new you don't know the routine, this is a check-in for newer members of the TTCAL Board. Please feel free to use this space to ask those "newbie" questions that feel intimidating to ask on the main board, I will try my best to get you an answer.

Please take the time to read the TTCAL blog to answer any questions you may have regarding our board etiquette, trying to conceive, miscarriages and loss, and much more: https://www.ttcalblog.blogspot.com/

Finally, If you haven't done so, please post your introduction on the main board including your story, and tell us a little about yourself here.

So, who are you? How are you doing? Any updates?

* * *

LAST WEEK'S CHECK-INS:

kmo630: How are you feeling this week? I know you've been down, and rightfully so, I just want to make sure you've been able to get some sleep.

daylights1: I have been thinking a lot about you this week, and your comments on one the clicky polls yesterday just broke my heart. Just know how impressed I am with you that you've already survived so much.

mamato3boys: Still staying relaxed about it all? I know it's tough to do, so I'm hoping you're still feeling as confident!

Cubskers: Hopefully, this will be your last check-in here, as I'm expecting you to stay your butt over on PGAL! So happy for you dear. Really, really thrilled.

CCline09: How's my fellow bench-warmer doing this week? How is saving for your cruise going?

katharine25: Not a newbie, but I'm sure you'll see this ... Only a *tiny* mention on drinking a little less, but only if you're lacking in the EWCM department. 

ncchnat: I may have missed an update, but any word on the house-buying process? You're another one that remains on my brain, so I hope this week is treating you well.

lovelainie: Big, squishy hugs to you ... I saw your temperature drop this morning, and my heart sank. (Although, no AF yet, I see, so I'll keep hoping.) I know you've got a lot to think about, but just remember, it can always happen on an un-medicated cycle.

Elle jM: How's the mid-cycle mind fetus going? Ha. I like that you're poking at your boobs, that made me laugh!

pkaren: How is your husband's grandmother doing? I may have missed a post from you, but I see you're now on CD64. What's your doctor saying?

lsuhoneybadger: Hello fellow birth-hospital mate. Ha. How has this week been for you? I'm sure AF didn't help your mood any, but I hope you're feeling OK!

JennOH85: Any new news from you this week, lady? Good or bad! Hope you're well.

NBBride05: I see AF showed her ugly face ... I'm so sorry. I blame the stress from your staples, so I expect great things this month!

twotexans: You and your thumb have been on my mind. Any decisions made yet on the surgery? I'm still so sad this cycle was a bust, but I remain hopeful for you in the months to come!

expatmama: I can't chart-stalk you. Ugh. Just wondering if you think y'all had good timing and/or you've got the fetus fever!  Did you see my response last week about Phish? Get that DVD, it's awesome!

stella9118: How are you doing this week? I know you've been going through a lot, so I'm hoping things have calmed down somewhat in your world.

kelly321: How are you? Still trying to test your betas out? Have you gotten a negative test yet? It's such a hard thing to have to do!

dillngr9: Where are you at in your cycle? Are you excited about getting to try again this month?

Tisharp: When will you get your bloodwork results in? Here's hoping it's the last stick for a while!

ahbEsq: How are things going with you this week? I'm hoping you're doing OK, and not letting yourself get too anxious about trying again next cycle.

ActingDiva09: You may already be gone, so if so, have a wonderful vacation!

barbie92: Yay for being done with finals! I am SO PROUD of you that you were able to keep up with school after everything you've gone through this year. You deserve a big pat on the back! Still feel like you're out this cycle? How many days of positive OPKs did you end up having?

DC2London: What's going on with you lady? I see you finally got a positive OPK! Do you think you had already ovulated, or do you think it's just coming now?

imwithrebel: Any sign of AF yet? I'm hoping she's come and gone for you! Do y'all get to try again after she's done?

klbowie: Oh babe ... I am so sorry for the day you are having. I hate that your betas just won't go down, and I'm really hoping you don't have to have a D&C. Thinking about you!

NariaDreaming: Huge apologies for missing your check-in the other day, and welcome to the board! I am so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here. I hope you have already found a lot of love and support! How long do you think y'all will be TTA?

* * *

Tip of the week: Healthy, copious amounts of cervical mucous nourish the sperm and maximize travel time and travel conditions to the egg. As we age, cervical mucous can decline. If yours is less than optimal, increase water intake and limit alcohol and caffeine. (Yeah, sorry with the limiting alcohol suggestion again! Ha.) Taking 3000 mg of evening primrose oil a day from the beginning of your cycle up through ovulation can also help to increase the quantity and the quality of CM.

 

Quote of the week: "Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have ? life itself." {Walter Anderson}

 

The GTKY of the week is: You have an extra $500 unexpectedly left over at the end of the month after paying bills (Yeah, right! Ha.) ... What do you do with the money? Are you frugal and save it, or do you blow it on something you've been wanting?

Have a wonderful week ladies, and don't hesitate to ask any questions here!

DaisyZH

Hello! I am a newbie that posted an intro on the main board I think two days ago.  I was a longtime lurker and am really enjoying participating. 

I am doing fine as far as TTC, AF just left so it's kind of low pressure right now especially since I normally ovulate pretty late.  No updates, I'm charting for the first time though since my first loss so I'm hopeful that getting more info will help.

GTKY - I am boring and frugal and would save the extra money. 

I love the quote of the week by the way!

shellyco

Woah!  Look at all those newbie check-ins last week!  You've been busy, Kacy!

I haven't checked in for probably three weeks.  This cycle I decided not to temp until I got a positive OPK, and I feel pretty good about my decision.  I also started taking the pill FertileCM and had a ton of nonfertile CM but no luck with the fertile CM.  I already avoid alcohol and caffeine and drink plenty of water, so I don't know what's up. 

GTKY of the week:  I've decided I'm going to treat myself to a monthly massage, so a hundred or so would go to that, the rest we would probably stick in savings.  We are boring. 

neesie3173

Hi! I'm super new, just intro'd today.

Nothing exciting to report. 

I would take that money and get a new microwave!!! We've been replacing appliances one at a time and my white microwave in the sea of stainless steel makes me cringe!

krisztina33

Hi Kacy-

I still consider myself a newbie so I will check in

Only news with me is that ongoing GI issues have forced DH and I to put TTC on hold for a while until we have a better understanding of what is going on with my system.  Colonoscopy scheduled for 6/6/12, and bloodwork already being analyzed at the lab.  Hopefully we can get some answers quickly.

Really enjoying getting to know you ladies.

<<hugs>> to all!

krisztina33

Oh, and GTKY question--I would shamelessly go shoe shopping!!!  DH has the reins pretty tight (with good reason) so I would take the opportunity and run with it!!!

twotexans

Update:  Today is cd3, so I will start my next round of Clomid tonight.  I was contemplating taking a month off and having surgery on my thumb, but my orthopedic is at a conference and I can't get in to see him until the 22nd.  Since my appointment is so close to my O date, I decided to do another medicated cycle.  Here's hoping 3rd times a charm for TTCAL.  We got our first BFP on our 3rd medicated cycle.

The GTKY of the week is: You have an extra $500 unexpectedly left over at the end of the month after paying bills (Yeah, right! Ha.) ... What do you do with the money? Are you frugal and save it, or do you blow it on something you've been wanting?  Probably half and half.  That tends to be the way we treat DH's bonuses.  We would probably put it toward new living room furniture.  We want to put our current furniture up into the game room. It has been empty for the last 2 years. 

Actingdiva09

I'm about to disconnect!!! Love you sweeties!!! I'll be thinking of all of you this Sunday!

MrsPBandJ

Hi, I'd like to add myself as a newbie if possible.  I posted a little intro and question last weekend. I'm currently 4 DPO, so in the 2WW.  I'd like to say I have a "good feeling", but this is only our first cycle after the M/C so I'm quite anxious.

 If I had an extra $500, I would add it to our fertility treatment fund.  Very responsible, I know.

Elle jM

Am I still new?  There are so many new ladies lately (sadly), I don't feel new. 

My boobs are probably bruised at this point!!! It's bad, it's very bad!  No other updates here.

 GTKY: Does my husband know about the money?  If he does then I'm sure he'll make me put at least half in the bank, and then maybe a nice dinner with the rest.  If he doesn't all bets are off!  I'd probably treat myself to something.  Maybe put it towards a designer pair of shoes, or purse.

lovelainie

lovelainie: Big, squishy hugs to you ... I saw your temperature drop this morning, and my heart sank. (Although, no AF yet, I see, so I'll keep hoping.) I know you've got a lot to think about, but just remember, it can always happen on an un-medicated cycle.

 Thanks. I'm struggling today. I cried in my car on my lunch break. Four hours later, my BFF texted me a picture from her sonogram. I know she's excited, and I'm excited for her, but it was really, really crappy timing. 

So, now I'm hoping that if AF is going to show, she does it before noon tomorrow (because my RE office doesn't schedule appointments later than that on Fridays), so I can schedule my cd3 appointment and consult. I'm thinking about just asking him if we can jump to an IUI, but haven't decided yet. After all, my one and only BFP was an unmedicated cycle. 

 

 The GTKY of the week is: You have an extra $500 unexpectedly left over at the end of the month after paying bills (Yeah, right! Ha.) ... What do you do with the money? Are you frugal and save it, or do you blow it on something you've been wanting?

Does DH know about it? Because he would save it, no question about it. I would probably spend half of it and save the rest. 

barbie92

barbie92: Yay for being done with finals! I am SO PROUD of you that you were able to keep up with school after everything you've gone through this year. You deserve a big pat on the back! Still feel like you're out this cycle? How many days of positive OPKs did you end up having?

Hey Kacy!

Thanks I had really considered just dropping all of my classes after getting a week behind when we lost Robby, and I probably would have, but I am on financial aid. I actually was even able to pull three A's and only one B.

I do still feel out this cycle. Today is 10DPO with a negative test. I normally have a 10 day LP, but hopefully if I am not pregnant this cycle at least my LP might be a little bit longer.

I ended up having five days of positive OPKs! I am really interested to see how many I get my next cycle!

GTKY: I would probably save half and go spend the other half, especially if I had the extra money right after AF arrived!  

lsuhoneybadger

lsuhoneybadger: Hello fellow birth-hospital mate. Ha. How has this week been for you? I'm sure AF didn't help your mood any, but I hope you're feeling OK!

 

This cracked me up!  Love it!

 

Update:  Well got my lovely visitor this week but am ok with it as I've just been getting into my working out groove so it gives me more time to focus on that (thinking positive!)

 

QOTD:  I *should* save it but I would most like spend it on some (much needed) new work clothes!

RickandTricia

Hi everyone! I posted an intro on the board a couple days ago, but this is my first check-in.

A little background about me and my TTC journey. I got a BFP on 3.23.12 and was diagnosed with a blighted ovum on 4.18.12. I ended up taking three doses of Cytotec before my u/s on 5.7.12 showed the m/c was complete.

Right now, I am waiting for my betas to drop to 0. I had them checked on 5.7 and they were at 1,977, which is higher than what the doctor said she wanted (prior to my m/c, my hcg levels were as high as 50,000) so I'm going in again on Monday. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they will drop quickly. I just want this to be over with so we can move on.

As far as the $500, I would definitely save it. I am kind of obsessed with spending as little money as I can, haha. Well, that makes me sound weird, but I'm not weird, I promise.

NBBride05

Update: Its been a tough week. Sunday would have been my 1/2 way point (20 weeks), today is exactly 3 months since my loss and AF is here. No wonder I have been crying all week - having a hard time keeping it together! 

If I had an extra $500 left over, I would save some of it and probably blow some of it too. What I would buy is another question....maybe treat myself to a spa day? Going to Hawaii in June, so maybe I would save it to blow there!!

KacyChicago

Happy Friday ladies!

I've been keeping up with you, and I'll be answering you all ASAP.

I have one more day chained to my desk, but then ... Freedom. I won't complain too much though, as I'm getting to do something I've never done before!

So, I hope y'all have a good day, and know I'm thinking about you all.

K.

ahbEsq

ahbEsq: How are things going with you this week? I'm hoping you're doing OK, and not letting yourself get too anxious about trying again next cycle.

Hi Kacy.  I'm doing pretty well.  I've had my moments this week, including one where I spent my entire commute home crying, but I think I'm moving towards acceptance and letting go of the guilt.  I had a +OPK this week and I had mixed feelings.  One the one hand I wanted to TTC so badly, but on the other hand I was glad to have a few more weeks to accept the loss before trying again.  I think I will be ready next month.  And, I think I'm 2DPO so I'll be back on the baby making train soon!  I'm definitely going to try POM next month to try to help thicken my lining as you suggested.

GTKY:  I would probably save it for a vacation.  

klbowie

***Pregnancy Mentioned***

Today I am doing better then yesterday.  The news has sunk in and I am just dealing.  I am getting ready to get my blood drawn just to double check if it is a new pregnancy.  That would be beyond amazing if it was but the odds are against me.  My doctor said I should find out by this afternoon so I don't have to wait all weekend the results. 

However, I have my D&C scheduled for early Wednesday morning.  I will probably work from home on Thursday too.  Augh.  I am happy though that this rollercoaster ride will be over by then though.  Then I can finally take the next step in TTC again!!

If I had an extra $500 I would but it towards getting my truck fixed.  It was in a hit and run and need some body work done to it.  My insurance deductible is $1000.00.  So I would put it towards that so my truck can look pretty again.

~~~Update~~~

I got the blood results and it is not a new pregnancy.  So the D&C is on for Wednesday.  The weird thing is since Friday night I started lightly bleeding again and some tissue has passed.  I am now worried the doctor will cancel the D&C and see if my body will finish passing the tissue on its own.  I really hope not because I am just ready to be done miscarrying and moving on to the next stage of healing.  

eroplane

Hello - I posted an intro several days back on the main board. 

We had a WTH mtg with our RE this week. He wants to do additional testing to see if I have any immune issues related to the twins. So presumably labs this coming week and then hopefully cycle again next month with our last embryos. Infertility and loss is a cruel cruel world.

GTKY: I would put the money towards our next cycle. It has been extremely expensive to make babies, try to save them, and lose them.  

CCline09

Hey kacy and everyone! I have been MIA lately...just needed a bit of a break. Things are going okay. Still saving up for the cruise but so excited to have something to look forward too!

 

As for the question: I would put it into savings towards our cruise!! We want to have acouple hundred bucks saved up to buy some tasty drinks since they aren't included  

KacyChicago

DaisyZH:

I am doing fine as far as TTC, AF just left so it's kind of low pressure right now especially since I normally ovulate pretty late.  No updates, I'm charting for the first time though since my first loss so I'm hopeful that getting more info will help.

Hi there! I've been in stealth lurker mode the last couple of weeks, due to intense work pressure, so I am sorry that I missed your intro. I am so very sorry for you losses and that you find yourself here, but I'm glad you decided to lurk less, post more. It really is a great group of ladies, and I am thankful for them every day.

I'm glad your not under a lot of pressure right now, and I hope that continues anyone. TTCAL is definitely a lesson in patience, as I'm sure you know ... So putting ourselves under any kind of time-frame, I've realized, is fruitless. (Easier said than done, right? Ha.) I really hope charting will help you, I've enjoyed doing it, and it's great to be able to see exactly what my body is doing.

I see you have a first birthday coming up, that must be so exciting! That's one of the things I'm most looking forward to ... My children are going to have the best parties!

 

KacyChicago

shellyco:

Woah!  Look at all those newbie check-ins last week!  You've been busy, Kacy!

I haven't checked in for probably three weeks.  This cycle I decided not to temp until I got a positive OPK, and I feel pretty good about my decision.  I also started taking the pill FertileCM and had a ton of nonfertile CM but no luck with the fertile CM.  I already avoid alcohol and caffeine and drink plenty of water, so I don't know what's up. 

I have been busy ... But I honestly like doing it. As long as y'all are patient with me during weeks like this, I'll keep coming back for more! Ha.

OK, so cervical mucus, we need some of it, and some fertile stuff ... Do you drink green tea from CD1? Some girls have used Mucinex to help with the mucus, as it helps thin it out if it's clumpy. (it's weird to think about our lady-bit mucus being essentially the same stuff that comes out our nose!) And just make sure you're using Preseed, to help offset the lack thereof. I will admit, if it continues to be a problem, because I know it has been, you may want to talk to your OB. You may possibly be referred to an RE, but well, it's their job to get you pregnant, so it's just more help.

Hope you have a great week, and that things are going well for you otherwise!

KacyChicago

neesie3173:

Hi! I'm super new, just intro'd today.

Nothing exciting to report. 

I would take that money and get a new microwave!!! We've been replacing appliances one at a time and my white microwave in the sea of stainless steel makes me cringe!

Hi there! I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. I hope you're doing well, and have recovered from your D&C. I know this is a weird time, this first cycle, and I hope you're hanging in there!

I totally understand about the microwave ... Unfortunately, we live in a rented condo, so all of our appliances are white. Ugh. I'll be glad to one day have your problem in my own place! Ha.

Hope you have a good week. Welcome!

 

KacyChicago

krisztina33:

Only news with me is that ongoing GI issues have forced DH and I to put TTC on hold for a while until we have a better understanding of what is going on with my system.  Colonoscopy scheduled for 6/6/12, and bloodwork already being analyzed at the lab.  Hopefully we can get some answers quickly.

Hello fellow TTA-er ... Sorry you're having to be put on hold for the moment, but it will be nice getting to know you better!

I know it's tough having to stop the process, especially if y'all had been trying for a bit, but just look at it as a momentary set-back. I'm just trying to use the time to better myself physically, which includes trying to figure out some issues as well. It sucks when you don't feel well, and can't figure out why! I'll be thinking of you as y'all go through this crappy (No pun intended, but hey, it is kind of funny!) process!

Welcome again.

KacyChicago

twotexans:

Update:  Today is cd3, so I will start my next round of Clomid tonight.  I was contemplating taking a month off and having surgery on my thumb, but my orthopedic is at a conference and I can't get in to see him until the 22nd.  Since my appointment is so close to my O date, I decided to do another medicated cycle.  Here's hoping 3rd times a charm for TTCAL.  We got our first BFP on our 3rd medicated cycle.

Well, you know I am always hopeful for you, so third time is the charm. I'm freaking willing it to be so, d*****! I'm hoping it's good luck that he is away at a conference, and since you're able to wait, I'm glad y'all are going for it!

I hope the hormones are easier to handle this cycle, because I know last month was tough. I'll be thinking a lot about you as the Clomid starts kicking in.

Good luck this cycle!!! I hope you have a wonderful week as well.

KacyChicago

Actingdiva09:

I'm about to disconnect!!! Love you sweeties!!! I'll be thinking of all of you this Sunday!

Happy vacation. Totally jealous.

KacyChicago

MrsPBandJ:

Hi, I'd like to add myself as a newbie if possible.  I posted a little intro and question last weekend. I'm currently 4 DPO, so in the 2WW.  I'd like to say I have a "good feeling", but this is only our first cycle after the M/C so I'm quite anxious.

 If I had an extra $500, I would add it to our fertility treatment fund.  Very responsible, I know.

I totally understand putting the $500 in the fertility treatment fund ... It's a very expensive process, I'm already learning. I'm sorry that you've had such a hard time getting pregnant, and I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish you nothing but good luck in the future.

I can only imagine how tough the first cycle trying is, I'm already anxious about it, and it's months away for us! But I read your intro, and I saw that you now feel under more pressure since you've let family and friends know that you are trying. Remember above all else, these people love you, and no matter what happens, they will continue to. You are not letting anyone down ... You are in no way to blame for ANYTHING that you have no control over, plain and simple. I know that is hard for us to remember sometimes, but it's the truth!

Welcome to the board, I hope you find wonderful love and support here. (And I hope you have a really great week!)

KacyChicago

Elle jM:

Am I still new?  There are so many new ladies lately (sadly), I don't feel new. 

My boobs are probably bruised at this point!!! It's bad, it's very bad!  No other updates here.

Sadly, I would say that you are no longer new ... I think I really just like keeping up with you! And after the epic fail of the July check-in this week, I'm at least glad to see you here. (Sorry about that ... It has really been a hellish week.) 

I'm hoping all your boob-pressing has left with with sore ta-tas ... But I hope it's a great cycle for you! I'm not looking forward to the waiting, that I am sure will happen, so know I'm thinking about you.

Hope you have a great week ... I'm just looking forward to a little less work. 

DaisyZH

KacyChicago:

DaisyZH:

I am doing fine as far as TTC, AF just left so it's kind of low pressure right now especially since I normally ovulate pretty late.  No updates, I'm charting for the first time though since my first loss so I'm hopeful that getting more info will help.

Hi there! I've been in stealth lurker mode the last couple of weeks, due to intense work pressure, so I am sorry that I missed your intro. I am so very sorry for you losses and that you find yourself here, but I'm glad you decided to lurk less, post more. It really is a great group of ladies, and I am thankful for them every day.

I'm glad your not under a lot of pressure right now, and I hope that continues anyone. TTCAL is definitely a lesson in patience, as I'm sure you know ... So putting ourselves under any kind of time-frame, I've realized, is fruitless. (Easier said than done, right? Ha.) I really hope charting will help you, I've enjoyed doing it, and it's great to be able to see exactly what my body is doing.

I see you have a first birthday coming up, that must be so exciting! That's one of the things I'm most looking forward to ... My children are going to have the best parties!

 

 

 Hello there!  I am so glad I started participating, it's been a relief to talk about all this with people that understand!  I hope I keep feeling low-pressure but I'm sure that will go out the window in the 2ww.  I am definitely liking charting, I feel like I'm doing something to help our Situation which is nice. My Ds is turning 1 on June 28th so I am excited for the party.  I'm not very crafty so I've been looking for ideas on pinterest.

I hope your upcoming week is easier at work and  I'm so excited to keep getting to know you and everyone else!

KacyChicago

lovelainie:

Thanks. I'm struggling today. I cried in my car on my lunch break. Four hours later, my BFF texted me a picture from her sonogram. I know she's excited, and I'm excited for her, but it was really, really crappy timing. 

So, now I'm hoping that if AF is going to show, she does it before noon tomorrow (because my RE office doesn't schedule appointments later than that on Fridays), so I can schedule my cd3 appointment and consult. I'm thinking about just asking him if we can jump to an IUI, but haven't decided yet. After all, my one and only BFP was an unmedicated cycle. 

Sorry about your day the other day ... Especially the sonogram picture so soon after realizing it wouldn't be your cycle. I know it has to be such a mix of emotions, knowing it should be you as well. But, and I know this is cliche and hated by many loss Moms, but your time WILL come. I just hate she had such crappy timing too.

As far as the IUI goes, only you and your husband can make that decision ... But I do like that you got pregnant on an un-medicated cycle! But I see where you would be ready to go for an IUI, and truth-be-told, I do not blame you. I have a couple of friends who have undergone the procedure this month, and I am currently in the 2WW with them. It's stressful, so be warned of that! Ha. It's hard not to get your hopes up.

Hope you were able to do testing this cycle, sorry if I missed update. It's really been an insane week! 

KacyChicago

ncchnat:

They accepted our offer. (I didn't make an AW post about it which is why there was no update.) We had the inspection today and we should be closing either at the end of May or beginning of June. I'm so excited, though I have to admit, I cried today when I was standing in the room that would be the nursery.

TTC-wise, nothing new. Lots of EWCM the past two days, but I get that on and off throughout my whole cycle. T does enjoy the EOD thing we have going on right now, though.

How are you doing, Kacy?

Yay about the house! I know it's a relief to finally find something. My Dad lived outside Memphis for a little while with my step-mom and my little sister. (They lived in Germantown.) I've always really liked Memphis, and spent some time there occasionally as a kid. (I'm from Northeast Mississippi, so it was the closest "big city" to us. Ha.) I hope y'all enjoy living there.

I'm doing OK ... Just really busy, and still trying to figure out why I am feeling so bad physically. (And trying not to stress out about it, although that's hard not to do. Ha.) But work has taken a lot of my time the last couple of weeks, as that's been really hectic. So forgive me for seemingly abandoning y'all ... I promise I'm still around, just insanely swamped.

Glad y'all are enjoying the every-other-day method. I really think it makes the most sense, to be honest with you. That way, you're sure to hit your fertile period, without overdoing it. (And I feel you on the EWCM ... Man, it sucks seeing all of mine go to waste! Ha.)

Hope you have a wonderful week, and that you're doing better emotionally. I think of you often, and really hope that new nursery is filled soon.

KacyChicago

DC2London:

Kacy:  Ugh, I don't know what's going on with me! :  Blazing positive OPK's all day today.  This morning, cervix definitely felt open, pretty soft, it *seemed* high....but by this afternoon it was definitely not high anymore.  I really don't know what to think.  Common sense tells me that if I had no +OPK before, and I'm having them now, that I'm O'ing now.  So just in case, we will "hump it out."  A lot.  This cycle is doing my head in and I sure wouldn't mind if it was my last

What's new with you?

I can understand how this cycle is doing your head in ... I can't even make heads or tails about what's going on there! But, I'm glad you just keep humping it out ... It's all you can do at this point! (But I agree, I hope it is your last.) I've never tracked my cervix position, so I don't know much about that, to be honest. I've always been a CM-kind-of-girl, so I've even kind of given up on temping for the moment ... It's like I told Katharine, I don't really need to know much other than when to avoid right now, and I'm just hoping it won't jump again.

Otherwise, I'm OK ... Pretty busy, and just hoping things calm down for a bit. Hope you're having a wonderful Mother's Day, and you've been spoiled and hugged to death. 

KacyChicago

barbie92:

Thanks I had really considered just dropping all of my classes after getting a week behind when we lost Robby, and I probably would have, but I am on financial aid. I actually was even able to pull three A's and only one B.

I do still feel out this cycle. Today is 10DPO with a negative test. I normally have a 10 day LP, but hopefully if I am not pregnant this cycle at least my LP might be a little bit longer.

I ended up having five days of positive OPKs! I am really interested to see how many I get my next cycle!

Well, just know again how great it is that you were able to get through this semester, especially with such great grades. Congratulations. How much longer do you have for your degree? What are you going to be?

Sorry this cycle was a bust (If it still is, that is!) ... I know it's tough having to wait each month, wondering when it's going to happen. I'm not sure how long y'all tried before, but I hope it won't be too long of a process. I'll also be anxious to see how many positive OPKs you get this next cycle, but knowing you had many the month you got pregnant, I wouldn't worry too much.

I hope you are having a good Mother's Day, and I know Robby is so proud to be able to call you Mom. 

KacyChicago

lsuhoneybadger:

Update:  Well got my lovely visitor this week but am ok with it as I've just been getting into my working out groove so it gives me more time to focus on that (thinking positive!)

Hey there! It's glad to see you are thinking positive, that's so lovely to hear.

I'll admit, we had a little more money than I was expecting to have this week, as I've done pretty good to hold on to our tax money. But when I woke up Saturday morning, I went online and bought a lot of clothes. Moodiness and money are dangerous together, but I am trying not to have buyer's remorse, as I really needed a pick-me-up. Ha. So I understand you wanting to spend the $500 on workout clothes!

I'm glad that you're feeling better, having gotten back into exercising. I am trying myself to keep on a set schedule/routine ... Some days it's hard, so huge kudos to you for finding some joy in it! It's really about trying to find some progress in the small things, and it's those things that show us how well we're doing.

Thinking of you, and hoping you continue on a positive path.

 

KacyChicago

RickandTricia:

Right now, I am waiting for my betas to drop to 0. I had them checked on 5.7 and they were at 1,977, which is higher than what the doctor said she wanted (prior to my m/c, my hcg levels were as high as 50,000) so I'm going in again on Monday. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they will drop quickly. I just want this to be over with so we can move on.

Hi there, and welcome to the board! I am so sorry for your loss, and that you find yourself here ... But at least here you are surrounded by many women who know exactly the things you have been going through. I hope you are doing OK emotionally, because I know this is such a weird, trying time.

Here's hoping your draw today brings you good news. It's hard seeing your betas that high after having to use the Cytotec three times. (I used it once and was afraid the whole time I would have to go through the process again, so know my heart goes out to you that it took a few times.) Has your doctor discussed dong an ultrasound if your betas are still so high? I just hope they are making sure they catch any possible retained tissue. I'll be thinking about you today, and willing good results!

I hope you have a good week as you continue to go through all of this. All my best to you!

KacyChicago

daylights1:

Kacy: Thank you so much for the kind words.  They mean a lot to me.  Also, yet another great quote!

Update:  I am waiting for my temp to spike hopefully confirming that I O'd.  Then entering the 2WW.  I so don't do well in the 2WW.  Some of you ladies seem to be so zen.  I don't know how you do it.  I think I'm going to have to take up a new hobby.  I've tried a number of things, cleaning, baking, home improvements, the gym, shopping therapy, reading, reading and more reading.  I feel like I need something fresh to completely become engulfed in.  Any suggestions?  

I always love it when y'all like the quote, especially because sometimes they can be hard to find. Ha. But I am so glad when they speak to me as well.

So, I see that you are in the 2WW now, although I was surprised to see that your crosshairs were dotted and not solid, as I wouldn't doubt that you ovulated at all ... Silly little computer service. Ha. But, it definitely looks like y'all did everything right this cycle, and then some!  So here's hoping y'all had some wonderful timing!

As far as a time-taking-up hobby ... Are you crafty at all? I paint, so that is definitely one things that take up my time. I also make beaded jewelry as well, along with other random craft crap. Ha. Are you a writer at all? Like photography? (Obviously all of my suggestions are going to be art-based, since that's what I know. Ha.) Here's hoping you find some type of distraction though ... And good, good luck!!!

Have a great week!

KacyChicago

NBBride05:

Update: Its been a tough week. Sunday would have been my 1/2 way point (20 weeks), today is exactly 3 months since my loss and AF is here. No wonder I have been crying all week - having a hard time keeping it together! 

If I had an extra $500 left over, I would save some of it and probably blow some of it too. What I would buy is another question....maybe treat myself to a spa day? Going to Hawaii in June, so maybe I would save it to blow there!!

I am so sorry. Half-baked was such a hard milestone for me, I'll be honest. It's a tough hump to get over, and the best thing is that it is past you now. But that, the three-month anniversary, AF and Mother's Day combined made for an expected tough week, and just try to focus on the fact that you did survive. But I know that you're ready to be more happy than sad again, and it just takes time. I'll be thinking about you.

Congrats on getting to go to Hawaii!!! I am so very jealous. I haven't been since I was a child, and it remains one of my favorite places on earth. I can still remember everything so vividly, and it's one of those spots that changes you forever! I hope y'all have a wonderful time, and you eat lots of pineapple!

Here's to a better week for you. 

KacyChicago

expatmama:

 Kacy - I did see your post about the Phish DVD and ordered it - I know it won't be the same as going to a show, but should tide me over for a bit. I used to tour with them a bit in the late 90's and have only caught them now and then since. But I still love them! (PS - I think you have a really cool job, too!)

 As for my update - No chart to stalk because I don't temp, sorry. But, I am pretty sure I o'd either Friday or Saturday (got 2 positive OPKs - a first) and then had no more ewcm or anything since. 

 So that puts me right smack in the middle of the 2ww bat shirt crazies. I had been holding up pretty well. I test late and tend to pretty much think positive until AF comes. But I started getting PMS cranky on Wed. and by Thurs. I had mild cramping. My thought process immediately went from sane to wacky and has jumped back and forth between 'Oh my god, is it AF already? Is my LP that short? I have a short LP, but 6 days?' to 'Could this be some freakish sign of implantation?' to 'This is a really sure sign of progesterone which could be a sign of either of those things, one of which will inevitably come.'

 Cramping and irritability have calmed down today, so I think I am feeling better. No sign of AF, and crazy baby thoughts have subsided as well.

 I won't test until a week from saturday, if need be, because of business trips, but I would imagine AF would rear her head before then if she is going to show up. But this is my first cycle after mc so who knows?

I am so excited that you ordered the Phish DVD! My boyfriend is going to be so tickled as well, as it remains one of his favorite shows. (And believe me, he knows them all, as he is a HUGE nerd.  But it's one of the things I love about him, so I can't complain!) I've been wanting to tell you how excited I am for days, but I try to answer everyone in order, so I am glad to finally be down to you. Yay! And double-yay that I get to see your face. It's always easier for me to be thinking about someone if I know what they look like, and I've just been thinking "expatmama" for so long, it'll be interesting to make the switch. Ha.

So, one of my favorite expressions I've learned on here is "fetus fever" and I'm guessing that you've got it now that you're getting closer to Saturday. I know it's been a couple of days since you checked-in, so I'm wondering how you're feeling about it all now ... I'll be honest and say my cycles have gone right back to where they were before I got pregnant, so I'm hoping you'll find that too. (Although I am obviously hoping for a positive report come Saturday!)

I'm hoping you're staying calm through it all ... I'll really have you on my brain the next few days. If it doesn't happen this cycle though, just try to remember it takes time. (Ugh.) Have a great week!

KacyChicago

ahbEsq:

Hi Kacy.  I'm doing pretty well.  I've had my moments this week, including one where I spent my entire commute home crying, but I think I'm moving towards acceptance and letting go of the guilt.  I had a +OPK this week and I had mixed feelings.  One the one hand I wanted to TTC so badly, but on the other hand I was glad to have a few more weeks to accept the loss before trying again.  I think I will be ready next month.  And, I think I'm 2DPO so I'll be back on the baby making train soon!  I'm definitely going to try POM next month to try to help thicken my lining as you suggested.

I am so glad to hear you say that you're letting go of the guilt ... It's hard to feel so terrible with ourselves over something that is beyond our control. But you in no way should feel guilty about your loss, so it's a good thing knowing you're moving forward.

I know a lot of women's first instincts is to immediately want to try again, but I think really giving yourself time to heal is a smart thing to do. There are so many emotions that you're going to continue to go through, even without trying to get pregnant again. (And with that process comes a whole other set of emotions!) It's a tricky road, TTCAL, and I just want you to be emotionally prepared before you do it again, as I would wish that for all of us!

I really hope the POM helps ... I know that a lot of women drink it, and it seems to help. I will definitely do it when I begin to try, just to give myself any extra boost possible. Ha. I hope it does the trick for your lining. Have a wonderful week, and I hope this past weekend treated you well.

KacyChicago

klbowie:

I got the blood results and it is not a new pregnancy.  So the D&C is on for Wednesday.  The weird thing is since Friday night I started lightly bleeding again and some tissue has passed.  I am now worried the doctor will cancel the D&C and see if my body will finish passing the tissue on its own.  I really hope not because I am just ready to be done miscarrying and moving on to the next stage of healing.  

I am so sorry. Goodness, this has been so hard on you, and my heart just goes out to you. I know you are really just ready to have the physical aspect of it over with, and I hope it's not too much longer. It really does allow you to move on to another aspect of healing, and I am so looking forward to you getting there. I doubt they will have you wait any longer for everything to pass, so I hope your D&C goes really smoothly on Wednesday. I'll be thinking about you, and I hope you're handling everything OK.

Have they said if they will try to test the tissue for any genetics or anything? That is one upside to having the procedure done, but I wonder if too much time has passed, or if your doctor has offered? Have they said why they didn't do something earlier since your betas had remained so high? (Ninety days for them to go down, my a**.) I hate that they have strung you along for so long, to be honest with you, so know how sorry I am this has all happened to you.

Wishing you the best ... I'll be checking in for an update from you. Good luck.

KacyChicago

mamato3boys:

Hi Kacy and all other newbies! Thanks again Kacy for checking in, I know you put alot of time into it and it is appreciated. I hope you are doing well. I don't see as much of you lately   As far as me I do still feel pretty optimistic. I'm hoping we hit it good enough this cycle DH is starting to feel used for procreation instead of fun and decided he needed a break when I wanted one more try. Hopefully we gave it a good enough shot. I was proud of myself and walked right past the hpt in Target last night. If I have them around I know I will use them. I am refusing to test before Friday. Every little sensation I'm starting to read into. I think they call it 2ww syndrome I've been trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of it. Since my m/c I had kind of lost motivation and now I feel like I am behind on everything! So I'm playing catch up, which is helping to occupy my mind.

Hey there! So sorry I've been M.I.A. lately ... Work has been taking every ounce of strength I have, and whenever I sit down in front of the computer, it's been to layout pages, which has seriously cut into my Bump time! But I try and get on a little bit each day, which is why it's taken me so long to get to you ... I've just been whittling away at the check-ins every free moment I get. I really like doing it, to be honest with you, and I like being able to keep up with y'all and your progress!

I can only assume that mind fetus has really taken over your brain by this point. I've never actually been in the two-week wait ? our pregnancy was a shock, but a welcome one. I am not looking forward to having to go through that every month, so know I get nervous for you all when you're going through it! I'll be anxious to see how your cycle went, but I'm hoping you're still in a "take-what-comes" mindset. I'm proud of you for approaching it like that, but am hoping, like you, for that rainbow baby!

I hate your husband's feeling used right now. Ha. I love hearing when the men are worn out, because it goes against every stereotype you're taught as a child/teenager!  Mine leaves the sex up to me, because he knows he'll be up for it more than me ... I'm already wondering how he's going to feel once we need to step it up at certain times of the month! Ha.

Hope your boys made you feel wonderful this weekend and you had a wonderful Mother's Day! Have a great week!