Starting Adoption Process

donmitch79

Hi All,

My husband and I are just beginning the adoption process. Needless to say, it is really overwhelming since we don't know anyone who has adopted or who is currently going through the process. We began learning about adoption last year but quickly learned we were not ready to begin the process. After much thinking and discussion, we know it is the right time! Yay

3 years ago at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I found out I had cancer the same month I discovered I was 2 months pregnant.  We had tried for over a year to conceive, so the news was shocking.  We lost the baby in the 3rd month as well as learned that I could no longer carry a pregnancy moving forward in life.  We have had a long road as a couple but I am better and we are the closest we have ever been.

Next week, we meet with an adoption agency.  I am ecstatic to begin the process and my husband is cautiously excited.  I am sure the adoption process is a rollar coaster of emotions, so what should I expect as we begin the process?  Are there any do's and don'ts for starting off?  I am so excited about parenthood but am afraid of getting my heart broken again.   Any advice for our first meeting would be so helpful.

 

 

Dr.Loretta

Hi and welcome! It's very common to be overwhelmed, nervous, and excited as you start out. This is a great group of women from all sides of the adoption triad, so you'll get some great support with a minimum of drama. Yay!

If you haven't already, check out the FAQs at the top of the board. Act fast, as they may be wonky as we go through a format transition on the boards.

I'm assuming you're doing domestic infant adoption? Our first meeting once we sent in our application was a pre-homestudy meeting, basically a way for our social worker to get to know us, as well as to let us know what all was involved in the homestudy. It will be a great opportunity to ask any questions you may have about adoption, the agency, etc.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and your diagnosis. That must have been a devastating time in your life. I'm glad to hear you're healthy and ready to join the ride. GL and post often! If you have any specific questions, we'd be happy to answer them or share our experiences.

silliestbunny

Welcome.  Our board has a great FAQ section.

I am a cancer survivor too (in fact I am headed for a routine CT/PET later this morning... ugh)  ... Glad you seem to be doing well. 

Our hearts were drawn to Int'l Adoption but with my cancer history it seemed daunting to proceed due to the country's interpretation of my medical records.  So, we opted to adopt domestically x 2. 

You will find that a few agencies will not work with you until you are 5 years post treatment.  However there are plenty of agencies that will work with you IF you have your oncologist's support (in letter form). 

If you have any questions about navigating the adoption world post-cancer, let me know. 

BMcLeodTeam

I completely understand the being overwhelmed feeling! My fiance and I are just starting the process ourselves! The women on here are great for answering any questions I have had up until this point.

 I am also a cancer survivor. If you want to talk to someone that (it sounds like) is in a similar situation in life, definitely feel free to message me!

donmitch79

It is so great to know that we are not alone!  The idea that others have gone through our same struggles and have a family is so inspiring. Thank you so much for responding and re-instilling my hope.

 I will be posting and asking questions as we move forward.  Thank you for your advice  

Bubs101

I'm new here too. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. We had an early loss last month and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose in your third month of pregnancy. Best wishes to you as you head down the adoption road.

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