To my wife:

teamosweetie

I am a dad, or at least I was for a few hours.  My wife and I lost our first beautiful boy at 8 months.  He was delivered by emergency c-section but it was too late.  After only being alive for two days, we had to remove his life support and he passed away.  Nothing in life prepares you for this kind of event.  This happened just five weeks ago, so it is still very fresh in my mind.

My wife and I spent the next three weeks in a fog.  Then just as this fog was about to lift, his due date came last week.  We still haven't dealt with the nursery - it was ready to go.  We still have a hard time walking in there.  We still both wake up sometimes and think we had a bad dream.  Sometimes, she can still feel him kick.

I am really writing this today because I know my wife goes on this site a lot for support.  She read so much on this site every day of her pregnancy.  And now that we have lost our little boy, she reads the stories of others who have had similar losses and it helps her.

She still cries a little almost every day.  I know that as hard as this has been for me, it has been incomparably harder for her.  I wish there was something I could do to take away the pain.  I wish that there was some kind of magic I could do so that you wouldn't hurt anymore.  You are an amazingly strong woman.  I don't know how you've managed to hold it together as well as you have.  I know I've told you this before, but we will get through this and we will be stronger for it.  I really admire your outlook on life, your courage and your spirit.  It may be wounded, but it is by no means broken.

I just want you to know that not a moment goes by that I am not thinking about you.  Even though I have to spend my days working and not being with you, every moment of every day, my heart is with you.  As it was in the beginning when we met and when we got married, my heart beats for you - and it always will.  

One day, the pain will fade - but we will never stop loving our son.  Though his life was cut short, he brought us 8 months of love and hope and joy.  We owe it to him to remember that.  Who knows what the next steps of our lives will bring, but I will be there with you, through the joy and pain.  You can count on that.

If you are reading this, I know that you probably have a box of tissues next to you and that you are using them, because these days you always have them close by - especially when you are reading loss stories on this site. I hope these words find you by surprise and at least bring a little smile to your face.  I love you so much and I always will.

- Your faithful husband. 

careyalis

I am not your wife, but I have a box of tissues too!  I am so sorry for your loss, but I am so glad that you have a strong marriage to love and support each other through this journey.  Best wishes!

fluttergirlmoonchild79

That was simply beautiful.  You sound like an amazing man and husband.  Wishing both you and your wife peace and love.

tuscanbride2007

What an absolutely beautiful letter. I hope that you and your wife stay strong.

jbranden12

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the love and support you are giving your wife.

figgs0831

I am so sorry for your loss.  I too have my box of tissues reading this. I hope and pray that the two of you continue to be strong for each other. 

This was just beautiful.

magdalina.h

Will you please be my husband because that was so amazingly sweet. Whomever your wife is, she is very lucky to have you.

roxyttandme

You define what a husband is about in my eyes. Major coodos to you... I too have tears in my eyes. Your wife is equally lucky to have you in her life as she is to have your son. 

So sorry for both your losses and please know this site will offer her the support, compassion, validation, empathy and sympathy that she undoubtably needs and deserves.  

mollywobbles13

I had to grab some tissues too. That was wonderfully sweet. I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you and your wife have each other through this.

CuriousGirl 0429

I'm very sorry for you loss.  This letter was beyond beautiful.

pottermommy

I am so sorry for your loss.  You are just as amazing as your wife. 

And yes I too am sitting here in tears.  YOu tow are so lucky to have one another and this was awesome of you. 

weddedwife

This is simply beautiful! So touching.

And yes, you will get through this, impossible though it may seem. But you will never be the same, that much is true. 

lhakers

This is amazing. 

pb127

Absolutely beautiful. Lots of love to you and your wife... and remember, you ARE a Dad. ((HUGS))

FirstTimer02

Thank you for sharing.  You are a special person.  Make sure your words reach her.  Maybe you can send her a card.  It probably won't hurt for her to see them more than once.  :-)

lrichmond86

This is beautiful.  There are no words to describe how much it means to us ladies to hear those words of support from our husbands.  Much love to both you and your wife.

Mrs Nice

You are a wonderful husband to have posted this to your wife. I am so sorry for your loss. Someone sent me this poem for my DH after our loss and I would like to share it with you.

  It must be very difficult

To be a man in grief,

Since "men don't cry"

and "men are strong" No tears can bring relief. It must be very difficult To stand up to the test, And field the calls and visitors So she can get some rest. They always ask if she's all right And what she's going through. But seldom take his hand and ask, "My friend, but how are you?" He hears her crying in the night And thinks his heart will break. He dries her tears and comforts her, But "stays strong" for her sake. It must be very difficult To start each day anew. And try to be so very brave-He lost his baby too.  

whiteroses05

Wow you are imagining husband! It shows how strong you are together! I will say that it is important to be there for each other bc this new journey you are is like a rollercoaster. You both will have your ups and downs. I am truely sorry you have to be here and your loss but know that the ladies here are the greatest support system.

samakasrc

Oh... My... Goodness....

I'm bawling! This is the sweetest thing I've seen in a really really long time!

You sound like such a good husband and father....

barrona

First, I just want to say how truly sorry I am for the loss of your precious baby boy. This letter was just absolutely beautiful and both you and your wife are so amazing and have a wonderful relationship. The pain is indescribable, but the days will become less painful at some point. I will have you, your wife and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Carolee

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son.  This is beautifully written - you are a wonderful husband and father.

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teamosweetie

She read it :-)