Newbie question, TIA.

lake919

I have been fighting my ex over our now 20 month old since November.  I have been nothing but civil and amicable to him.  I agreed to 50/50 custody, every other holiday, and he also gets him for two one-week blocks each year (when he takes his vacations from work).

He served me with papers today going for full custody.

I was a stay at home mom from 5 months pregnant until now.  I start my new job on Monday, which is full time and pays well.  I also enrolled back at my University full time when I moved out.  

My questions are, what are the odds of a father getting full custody when the mother is stable, working, and trying to get an education.  I have been his primary caretaker his entire life.  I also want to file for full custody.  When I talk to a lawyer, what do I ask?  How much was your retainer fee?  Do lawyers allow you to make payments?  Any advice at all about this would be appreciated. 

kayladay

It is highly unlikely that he could get full custody unless you are an unfit mother and it doesn't seem like you are. I told my lawyer I wanted sole custody and supervised visitation, and I got it. I paid $850 but that was because I didn't have to go to court. My lawyer let me do payments.

lake919

kayladay:

It is highly unlikely that he could get full custody unless you are an unfit mother and it doesn't seem like you are. I told my lawyer I wanted sole custody and supervised visitation, and I got it. I paid $850 but that was because I didn't have to go to court. My lawyer let me do payments.

Perfect.  Thank you! 

kayladay

No problem!

offbeatmama

It does not sound likely that he will get full custody but you should definitely consult with an attorney. Just tell them everything that has happened, your concerns, and what you hope to accomplish. See what they say and how you feel about them. I paid about $3,500 for my retainer but I got a few hundred of that back when the case was over. I was not allowed to make payments on the retainer but if I had gone over it then she would have allowed payments. We did not go to court and that does not include random court expenses.

ashleyann331

Most lawyers take payments, if you explain the situation to them and can come up with a good start amount. Mine did and its worked our perfectly for me.

Most judges won't grant either parent, mom or dad, full custody unless there is a safety issue with one of the parents. Examples: domestic violence, mental illness, drug or alcohol use, etc. If your working and going to school those are not even logical reasons for him to ask for full custody. Does he not have a lawyer? If so, he should get a new one. My STBXH is a whack job and I was told by my lawyer that asking for full custody probably wouldn't happen. The best thing you could do is file for a 80/20 custody. You would have the baby 80 percent of the time and him 20 percent. That would mean he got the baby weekends and you got the baby during the week or however it worked best for the two of you. Its very easy for family court judges to see through someone's bullsh!t and honestly, most of them do NOT take kindly to it.

I know this is a stressful thing to deal with, but you either learn to work together now or spend the rest of your life fighting with him. Best of luck to you. 

kayladay

I didn't have to prove mine unfit or anything to get sole custody with him getting supervised visitation.