Parenting after 35

Intro and question

Hi ladies!  Coming over here from the PG after 35 board, following a break since DD's birth to work on getting my act together, lol!  She was born March 5th, and she is a pretty mellow and easy baby so far; we know we are pretty darn lucky.

My question is for any other SAHMs out there.  This transition has been harder than I thought it would be...  Being a SAHM mom is something that I have always wanted to do, especially given that it took us a while and some work to get DD.  I was a team leader at work, used to working 50-60 hours/week plus 5-6 nights of 24 hour call/month.  I know that I don't want to go back to that job and I don't really miss it.  However, I feel a bit lost now at home.  I have gone to a couple of mom/baby ECFE classes, and I should look into a MOPs group.  Anybody have any other suggestions for ways to help adjust to this change??  I thought maybe some of my after 35 counterparts may have some better advice, as you are/were more likely to have had a longer career that you gave up (as opposed to our 20 something friends on the other boards).  It is OK to just pat me on the head and tell me it will get better, too!  I may XP to the SAHM board too, but I though I would start here!

Thanks in advance and looking forward to getting to know you all better (now I'll go do the GTKY poll!).


Me: 41, DH 43 TTC #1 since 8/09 CP 10/09.
3/11 Clomid-Ovidrel-IUI #1-progesterone= BFN.
5/11 Femara-Bravelle-Ovidrel-IUI#2-progesterone=BFN.
6/11 Femara-Ovidrel-IUI#3-progesterone=BFP!
Beta #1 7/1: 39. Beta #2 7/5: 301 U/S 7/19 - saw HB!!
EDD 3/12/12
DD born 3/5/12
Baby #2 Beta #1 12/16: 439.  Beta #2 12/18: 1240
EDD 8/22/15

Re: Intro and question

  • I'm a sort of SAHM after having worked the corporate world for 23 years.  I say sort of because i took a part-time job, and it's very part-time, I get to pick my own hours/days (I know, I'm blessed). 

    I would advise that you keep a circle of things/friends that you enjoy and that feed you mentally/spiritually/emotionally because as much as you'll enjoy your LO, you don't won't to do what alot of mom's do, and that's lose focus of yourself.  I've raised my kids (my oldest is 24) and for the first 17 years of his life, I knew nothing but them and boy was I a crab!

    Not knowing that I was losing myself in my kids, but I was.  Now that I have a 10 month old, people say, wow, you have to start all over again.  Yes, I am, and I'm glad to know now what I didn't before.  And that's that it's okay to adore and love all over my baby, but I HAVE to make time for me daily.  It's all about balance.

    BTW - this is a easy board with alot of wise and helpful women. Feel welcome to stop by anytime. 

  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I work but have watched my sister go through this and a few friends.  ECFE is a great starting place.  My sister met some friends there when her now 11 year old was a baby that they are still friends with (my nieces 2 best friends are from their first ECFE class).  Not sure if your ECFE classes meet over the summer but if not, make sure to plan play dates with your group (or those in the group that you want to stay friends with).  Over 2 of the summers that I was doing ECFE with my 1st, we planned a standing park play date for every Wed at 4pm (we all worked but you could do it anytime of day).  We brought snacks or whatever for the kids and really enjoyed hanging out and if it rained, we moved to someones house.  As your baby gets older, sign up for classes that interest you - baby swim class, gymnastics classes, soccer - whatever you are interested in.  IN the beginning parents are in class with the kids so while you are having fun with your child, talk to the other parents that are there and do not be shy about mentioning for a play date and then follow through.  It does take time but try to get out of the house every day - go for a walk, go to Target, go sit at Starbucks - whatever.  Library story time is another good thing.  Plan an activity a day and then other things will start to fall into place.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • I worked for 20+ years in a very demanding field with horrible horrible hours.  Then I sold insurance and hated it.  Soon as I got pregnant, I moved my clients over to another agent and got out.   So being a SAHM was kind of a culture shock for me, too.

    Yes, there are days when you feel like your brain is mush and you'll be starving for adult conversation.  

    Definitely seek out networking opportunties like play groups, etc.   We do a weekly morning playgroup through our church and I am the oldest mom, but not by much.  But really, it's not that big of a deal.  I feel more like the "much older sister!"  ha!  Another friend found a playgroup via Craigslist, of all places.

    As your LO gets older, also look into library storytimes... we go twice a week to two different libraries.  One I don't like as much as the other, but it's still fun to see Charles enjoy himself.

    Not a big fan of MOPS because, at least in my area, it's kinda pricey to join and I have a moral issue with having to pay for something that really doesn't cost anything.

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  • steverstever member
    No advice, but hi and welcome.
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