arranging playdates? — The Bump
School-Aged Children

arranging playdates?

My DD is about to graduate K on Friday. We recently found out that one of her classmates lives down the road from us. ( we are new to this area so I don't know anyone yet). I was wondering if it would be appropriate for me to write a note introducing myself to the other mom and then sending it to school to give to the little girl to take home. If so, how would you word the invitation for a playdate?  Thanks!


Re: arranging playdates?

  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Do you have a class list or anything?  It might be easier to just email or call the mom directly or if there are any class events that you would be at, introduce yourself in person.  I think sending the note is fine - just mention that your DD would love to plan a playdate with her DD and list your name, number and email.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • I agree with the reply above.  Once they're in kindergarten, they're going to want playdates with friends whose parents you've hardly met.  I usually just call and introduce myself, then make the invitation.  I expect parents who've never met me before to hang around and chat for a little when they drop off the child.  I do, if I'm dropping my kid off at the house of a family I've never met.

    If I get the vibe that the parent is uncertain about arranging a playdate with an unknown family, I offer the possibility of meeting at a park so the kids can play and neither parent has to drop off their kid at an unfamiliar house.

    My DD tends to gravitate toward more socially cautious kids, and I've had to do this more with her friends.  Either my son hangs with more confident kids, or people are more relaxed about sending their sons into other people's houses, because my son's buddies' parents have all been perfectly willing to drop their child at my house with little more than a get-to-know-you phone call! 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • WahooWahoo member

    Is there a class list?  A school directory?  If yes, I would phone or email - - that way you know that they got the message.  There is nothing wrong about sending in a note, but notes can get lost between your DD's backpack and the other child's home!  I would hate for you to feel you or DD was "rejected" when really the note is squished down at the bottom of a backpack.

    Are you going to the graduation?  If yes, I would ask DD who her friend is, and approach them at graduation. 

    For playdates with someone we don't know well, I would just write/say "Mary would love to have Jane over for a playdate.  Is there a time she is available?  We are free after school on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, or we can arrange a weekend if that works best for you."

    Usually it is not too hard - kids love playdates!



    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • I would call instead of sending a note home, just to make sure she gets the message. 
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  • I did this in the winter with a child from each of my DCs classes.  We don't have a class list and my kids expressed an interest in playing with these kids.  I sent in a letter in an envelope with the child's name on it.  Inside I wrote something like "Hi [kid's name]'s mom,  Max would like to have a play date with {her kid's name].  Can you please call or email me to plan a day for them to play together?  Thanks!"  And I gave my name, number and email address.  Both moms called right away and we've been playing together ever since. 

    FWIW, we usually do the first couple play dates at a public place (park, library, etc.) with both parents until we get to know each other.  After that, drop off play dates are done.  

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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