Anyone else nervous?

Rachel Sonnier

Hi All!

Did anyone else get really nervous during the application process? Everyone I talk to seems so confident, and I was wondering if anyone else felt this way.

I've posted a few times here, but I mostly lurk. The back story is that we went to an orientation at the agency we were considering last month, and we LOVED it! We decided to jump right in, and I finished all of the paperwork in our binder in two and a half weeks. 

So, now that I am actually finished with everything (and having way too much time to think), I'm getting really nervous.

It occurred to me the other day that THIS IS IT. The last stop. TTC on our own didn't work. The surgery didn't work. None of the things we tried with our RE worked. If we are ever going to add to our family, this is our last shot. Not a second best option, just the last one we plan to try. All of our eggs are in this basket, so to speak.

So naturally, worst timing ever, all of my IF baggage decides to rear its ugly head again. All of those "maybe it just isn't meant to be," or "its just not in God's plan," comments from well meaning friends and family are coming back to haunt me. And as hard as I'd roll my eyes, somewhere deep down inside I always wondered if they might be right. 

So now, this is it.

What if its not meant to be? What if they deny our application? 

I know it wouldn't be the end of the world, and we would adapt and move on. But geez, it would be another HUGE disappointment.

Anyone else feel like this during the application, or homestudy process? 

 

so1966

I think it's totally normal to be nervous.  Adoption is a big step and an involved process. You will do just fine. Be patient. While we were waiting to be matched, we went on vacations and did things we wouldn't have time to do with a baby. My main concern was how long we would wait, not about whether we'd be denied or not. Unless, you or your DH have a criminal record and such, I wouldn't be worried:)

 Good luck!  You will get there and it will all be worth it.

silliestbunny

I don't think the IF baggage ever completely goes away... it's part of your story.

I am terrible about "pulling the trigger".  I have late worry about making a wrong decision when it comes to everything big... a car purchase for example.  So it was natural for me to second guess our decision to choose an agency. It's the way I cope. 

 hang in there!

Amyaggie97

::Raises hand::  That would be me/us!  We are ready to go forward and are doing the steps but sometimes I get nervous that things will move too quickly and that freaks me out a little.

Dr.Loretta

I totally felt that way sometimes. There were mornings I'd stand in the shower and think, "Maybe it's just not going to happen, and we're just not meant to be parents."

But lo and behold, here we are

slaintexas

I think it's completely natural to be nervous.  And, as the others said, agencies aren't out to deny any family that can provide a loving home to a child.  I know it's easier said than done, but I wouldn't worry about not getting accepted into the program.  Your agency is currently limiting the number of families it accepts into the domestic program, and if they didn't think you were the right fit, they wouldn't have invited you to orientation.  :-)

Given how excited and proactive you have been to get the process started tells me that God has put adoption on your heart and it is the way you are supposed to build/complete your family. To give you some perspective, a good friend of mine (actually my DD's god mother) desparately wants a second child and they are having trouble.  I asked if they have considered adoption and even though she thinks adoption is wonderful and loves my daughters to pieces, she said she just doesn't feel called to build her family that way.  So, a very similar situation to yours, but different feelings as to where to go from here.  Have faith - you are on the right path!

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Rachel Sonnier

Thank you all so much for your replies!! It is so comforting to know that other people were/are in the same boat. I don't know anyone IRL who is adopting for the first time right now. They have all done it before (most of them twice), and I guess they aren't as mystified/slightly intimidated as I am by the whole process. 

And Slaintexas, I am sending you a PM!