How much say did/do you get?

VeniVidiScripsi

My husband's side of the family is planning a shower for me. All they've let me know is it's sometime in July (baby is due August 23), and they've just started planning.

I'm not trying to complain, but I don't want a surprise and told my husband to make sure they know that. I'm not really a social person at all, and don't like being the center of attention. Really, I don't want a shower but my husband is all for it for the free gifts (not that he has to attend).

I'm just wondering how much say do you get in your shower.

Like the date. July is nice, but I'm hoping it's near the beginning. I don't want it to be too late into the month because I know babies come when they want to come. Plus I've heard you don't want to be too big and uncomfortable during the shower and want to have time to wash everything you get.

ccam

I'm having 2 - one from my Mom and the other from my MIL.  For my Mom's, I have had very little input.  I gave her a guest list and she told me the date, but that's about it.  She wants the rest of it to be a surprise.  My MIL's, I've been more involved in - I gave her a guest list, narrowed down the date, went to the venue and planned the menu and I'm sure they'll ask for input about colors/decorations. 

ETA:  All of the above I've been asked to help with though, I didn't insist on giving my input.

PunkyBooster

MIL shower- no say. It was a surprise, though it was during a wedding weekend which involved travel for the entire family, so I had a hunch. But I acted surprised and it was fine.

Local shower- I gave good dates for me as my mom and sister flew in for it. She also asked me for a guest list. 

Work shower- surprise. No say. 

rhubarb123

I was given 3 showers and I don't even remember giving a guest list much less having any input into them.  My cousin and aunt gave the "family" shower and they knew the family so made the guest list themselves.  My coworker gave the work shower in her home and invited all the girls I worked with (about 8).  A friend of mine from church hosted the church/friend shower and for those everyone in the church is invited and there really is no guest list...it is just put in the church bulletin.  I did know the dates of all of them well in advance but they were all pretty late in my pregnancy.  The first one (family) was when I was probably 32 weeks, the church shower was when I was 34 weeks and I think the work shower was a couple weeks before I was due. 

I had plenty of time to wash things (it only takes a day) and set things up.  I didn't have to return much so that didn't take long at all.  I wasn't uncomfortable in the least at the end of my pregnancy plus I was working every day (and had an 8 block walk from the parking lot).  I worked all the way through my pregnancy - matter of fact worked on Friday and had the baby on Saturday night (due on Sunday).  lol  I was never uncomfortable during any of my pregnancies because of size (and I had a 9 1/2 pound over-due boy in August with no AC!!).  Obviously people are different.

EastCoastBride

You know you're getting a shower so there really is no surprise.  Tell your DH to talk to him mom and TELL HER "July is a busy month for us.  We need to set a date for the shower or otherwise, we may plan something for the same day.  If you actually want Juliet there, we need to konw the date".

Aleja0918

Aside from the date and time (to make sure you're available), you get as much input as your host allows. I had two showers and the extent of my involvement was the same: checked to see if I was available for the dates of the showers and gave the hosts a list of guests after they told me how many people they could accommodate.

Gismo123

The only input I had was my guest list.  If you're worried it will be held during a time that won't work for you, tell them specific dates you can do the shower on and if that doesn't work for them then just graciously say thank you for the offer but that doesn't work for us.

naybird

So far I've had 2 showers, and one more to go.  I've had limited input in any of the shower planning.  I just gave my OK for the date and the guest list.

 I would want to know the date for sure and I'd let whomever is planning it know that you have a busy schedule and need to know the date.

 Otherwise sit back and enjoy it!

KaylaC0514

Yeah it seems like they should have asked you if the date was okay.  July is kind of late esp. if its not at the beginning like you said.

I'm only having one shower, thrown by my mother and sister, and they have asked me about pretty much anything and everything to do with the shower.  At the beginning of their planning (theyve been planning for probably 3 months now on and off) I gave my opinion on certain things but then I realized it was just causing more stress than anything.  They are the ones planning it and throwing it and even if I told them my opinion on something they usually went and did whatever they wanted to do anyway, or kept questioning me until I finally said okay fine whatever you want to do.  So now for the past month every time they ask me something I just tell them to do whatever they want to do since they are the ones planning everything.

Sometimes having a say in something really isn't worth it.  Especially when the person asking really doesn't care, or is looking for your utmost approval on everything they come up with and wont take no for an answer.

Sorry for the mini vent haha..

mswood1977

I worked with my hostess (DH's aunt) to pick a date that worked well for both of us. Then I provided a guest list of my friends and family (after discussing numbers with the hostess), my MIL and DH's aunt added people from their side.  My hostess also discussed the menu with me - we are doing early afternoon appetizers as the shower is after lunch but too early for dinner.

MrsArizmendiLimon

I have NO INPUT for my mothers, just was told the date and gave a guest list of friends I want there. My MIL is giving me a LITTLE input, but barely any. I'm fine with this, the less stress that I have over planning the showers. As for being the center of attention, you kind of have no choice. Baby showers are about YOU and YOUR BABY. Don't fret about the date either. I hate when both of my showers will be. For one I'll be 36 weeks and the other at 38 weeks. Just make sure that you get plenty of rest for the big day. I told both hosts that I will be sitting down and hardly doing anything all day UNLESS I get the energy to do something else. If you go in to labor  or can not attend most people will postpone it so you can be there.