Parenting after 35

Party Idea Help!

DD turns 4 in June and the time has come to plan her party. While most moms enjoy this kind of thing, I have been dreading it.

As she has proven on several occasions over the past year, DD does not do well at birthday parties. BounceU, MyGym, music participation, etc. - you name it - she doesn't like to participate. If it's a free-for-all she is fine. But the minute there is a group participation element, she resists, throws a tantrum, and sometimes even ruins the singing of happy birthday by throwing a screaming fit. It's enough to make me want to skip this birthday altogether.

Is there anyone else who is experiencing the same issues with their LOs? Any suggestions on a safe party idea for my "strong willed" child? 

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Re: Party Idea Help!

  • Honestly.. Who's the party for.. you or her?  If she's not into a traditional type party... don't do one. 

    If she has a few playmates she likes.. just invite them over for a play date or go to the park.  Don't make a big production over it.   Maybe if you feel the urge to make it "special," then just do a nice little snack for the kids.

    The bigger the fuss you make over it, the bigger the fuss she'll make.  So don't.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • mwdmwd member
    My girlfriend's daughter hates the happy birthday song, and it is never sung at her parties. We just eat cake, and say happy birthday.  How is her reaction to music and singing overall?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Loading the player...
  • Ughhh I can't stand having Happy Bday sung to me - so awkward! I like that PP skips it all together! I agree - do you need to have a bday party? is it something she's been asking for/expecting?

    At her age you could just invite a couple of her besties over for a cute tea party or take her and another for a mani or mall-day or whatever she likes.

    I wouldn't stress over a party - it's her day, do whatever will make it happy for all of you :) 

  • It seems your DD really hates parties like many people do---have family over for dinner and get her a cake and no singing if it truly freaks her out.

    When did Kids birthday parties become such a big deal? Just a question to prepare me for what's to come...is there an expectation that one must have parties once kid becomes social?

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • If she likes a free-for-all, plan it that way.  Can you host at your home or if it is a small group, someplace suitable for random play, like a nearby park with a playground?  Then the kids can do what they want.  You can serve food buffet-style, so there isn't a prescribed "sit down and eat" time.  Put out pre-sliced cake or cupcakes and don't make a big deal about singing.
    DD1 is 3, DD2 is 1.
  • LoCarbLoCarb member

    $1 movie theater? Little interaction but still celebrating.

    If she likes to cook or decorate maybe you can have a cupcake decorating party at your place w/o the b-day song. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Honestly, if that was my child, I would not have a party for her as it sounds like she will not enjoy it.  Does she have a close friend or two?  If so, invite them over for a playdate and call it a day.  Or have a few friends at the park and again call it a day.  My kids love all the party stuff.  My younger DD is not one that likes being the center of attention though - we did her party at a bounce house place and she loved it but at the beginning when the staff person had all the kids wishing her a happy birthday, she kept her head down and wouldn't look at anyone adn she did the same while everyone was singing happy birthday to her - she wasn't scared or screaming or anything - just didn't like everyone looking at her.  Same child at family party was smiling her huge amazing smile at the whole family while we sang to her so it really had to do with her friends and all the parents watching her.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    imageChengele:

    When did Kids birthday parties become such a big deal? Just a question to prepare me for what's to come...is there an expectation that one must have parties once kid becomes social?

    I think it really varies depends on the area and the parents.  Around my area, I have a seen a huge variety of things done.  Older DD's daycare friends all had parties starting at around the 2nd or 3rd party and her PreK class last year - about half had huge invite the whole class parties but this year in her class - no one invited the whole class and DD has only been invited to 2 or 3 smaller parties so it varies greatly.  Younger DD has had 1 or 2 daycare friend parties total and her parties have all been pretty small (less than 10 kids and that includes her 2 cousins and her sister).  Older DD's party's have been bigger but she is way more social and more of her friends do big parties.  This year for both I put a limit of 15 kids total and that includes my 2 and their 2 cousins so really only 11 friends can be invited and I am guessing that 25% don't come. 
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • PeskyPesky member
    Either go to a park and let the kids play or have them to your house and just have free play.  Then have cake.  Then send them home.  Done!


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • imageBrideBuddies:

    Honestly.. Who's the party for.. you or her?  If she's not into a traditional type party... don't do one. 

    If she has a few playmates she likes.. just invite them over for a play date or go to the park.  Don't make a big production over it.   Maybe if you feel the urge to make it "special," then just do a nice little snack for the kids.

    The bigger the fuss you make over it, the bigger the fuss she'll make.  So don't.

    She wants a party. She's been asking for one and talking about when it's going to be her day. It's more about the behavior than the party. Even dinner at my parents' house last night involved a major meltdown when it was time to sit down and eat. It's as though she just doesn't want to be told to do something.  

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • Your daughter sounds like my son. Maybe a make-your-own sundae at an ice cream store?  Good luck!
  • imagemrsmatto:
    imageBrideBuddies:

    Honestly.. Who's the party for.. you or her?  If she's not into a traditional type party... don't do one. 

    If she has a few playmates she likes.. just invite them over for a play date or go to the park.  Don't make a big production over it.   Maybe if you feel the urge to make it "special," then just do a nice little snack for the kids.

    The bigger the fuss you make over it, the bigger the fuss she'll make.  So don't.

    She wants a party. She's been asking for one and talking about when it's going to be her day. It's more about the behavior than the party. Even dinner at my parents' house last night involved a major meltdown when it was time to sit down and eat. It's as though she just doesn't want to be told to do something.  

    Then is it a problem with discipline and following directions rather than a party problem?  Do you make her sit down and eat dinner at home?  If you want behavior in public, you have to work on that behavior at home. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"