Question from a lurker
JerseyGirlAtHeart
member
We are FINALLY getting ready to hand in our profile book. My goal is by June 1st. I just had a question. We are open to taking kids from birth-8. Infants can not go into daycare here until they are atleast 6 weeks old, I believe.
How did you handle those situations if you got placed with a newborn? Did you talk to your HR department & your immediate boss before you applied and let them know that you were doing foster care/adoption? My immediate bosses know that we are applying, but Id hate to throw a 6 week leave on them one day. I know in our area its not likely we will get a newborn, but Id just like to be prepared.
eta: did you scope out perspective daycares ahead of time in case your placement didnt already have one? They have said they would like them to stay in their daycare/school if at all possible.
Re: Question from a lurker
We didn't do foster to adopt; we did domestic adoption. As far as HR and my boss, I talked to my boss early on. She knew we were adopting. I updated her when we were linked with a birthmom and as it got closer to the due date. I spoke with HR a few times - I asked them questions about what type of leave I was allowed. I spoke with them more once Sept. rolled around because dd's birthmom was due around the 20th. I needed to have a substitute lined up and needed to have paperwork completed.
I would be upfront about needing the leave time. I was allowed to use my sick days and then use FMLA time. When that was done, I took the rest of the year unpaid. I returned the following fall, so over the summer we researched daycare options. I would definitely research it a bit so you're prepared in case you need it. If it works out that the child can stay in his/her current daycare/school, then that's great. At least you'll feel prepared.
Congrats on getting ready to hand your profile in!
We're looking to adopt an infant, so I told my boss the situation and said that I could know before the child is born that we're matched with a child or that I could get a phone call that has me racing out of the office and not coming back for several months. We talked through how to handle the second situation so that he and I feel comfortable with a last minute change.
I'm in the Washington, DC area, so the wait for daycare is ridiculous. Because we did IVF prior to getting started on the adoption journey, I went ahead and put us on the waiting list at the day care centers at my work and my husband's. The wait in this area for an infant slot is 18 months to 2 years. We've been on the waitlist approximately 2 years now in both places and have yet to be called for a spot. Both centers know that we are waiting to be matched for adoption and are okay with that. You need to talk to the day care centers near you and ask them how to handle this type of situation. Any place you truly want to enroll your child should be accomodating, at least to an extent. If they are not, you don't want to be there anyway.
If you are matched with a child who already has a day care situation, then you need to talk to those folks about how to handle that.
GOOD LUCK!
We did DIA like ArtTeacher, and we had an emergency placement (DD was already born when we got The Call). I told my boss that we were adopting about the time our profile went active, and that it could be months/years, or I could be leaving the next day to be out on leave. He was aware that it was a crap shoot.
I did not talk to HR. I figured there was nothing realy to say, as FMLA/mat leave would just kick in when I left, and there wasn't any real preparation from their end, so to speak. We got The Call on a Thursday morning, and I called HR Thursday afternoon. I swung by their office on Friday morning before we picked up DD.
As for daycares, I planned to SAH but ended up going back for a month after my leave. We were lucky in that it coincided with school vacation, so there were tons of daycare openings. But I would research as much as you can, explain the situation, and be prepared.
GL! So exciting!
I separated from the military the day before DD was born (totally not planned that way - I had given six months notice), but I had thought through this scenario if we had gotten placed earlier.
If you cannot or do not want to take six weeks off with a newborn, there are other childcare options besides daycare. My plan was to leave the baby in a one-on-one home care setting at our house (nanny) or at someone else's home. If it was possible for my mom to be there since she lives out of town, we would have had her stay with us and keep the baby. Are those acceptable options in foster care? If so, I would look into finding a retired childcare worked or nurse who would be willing to provide short-term infant care until you can switch to daycare.
After I got done writing this out, I realized I had an ex-coworker who does babysitting in her home. Hopefully she would have the room. Id really love to be able to stay at home, and I hope I could and WAH for a few weeks. Its hard, but possible for my job.
Thanks everyone for their insight. I am ready to get this party started!!
TTC #1 Since 11/07
BFP: 5/20/11 Ectopic:5/31/11
Jersey Girl - we had a friend of a coworker of mine watch dd when I went back to work. She was wonderful.
I'm actually a SAHM again this year, but if I wasn't I would want her to be with her babysitter.
We did DIA, not foster-adopt. But, I talked to my boss when we started the process (I changed jobs while waiting, so in my 2nd interview I told the administrator and the corporate HR). The day we were matched, I talked with my HR rep and my boss about time off. Since I had only been there 4 months, they could only promise me two weeks, unless I found a replacement. Luckily, the woman I took over the job for (she left due to wanting parttime, not fulltime) hadn't found another job and offered to work 8 weeks for me.
I suggest being up front about the different possibilities of placements you might get. Good Luck.
That's right, I blog! - The Domestic Soldier