Random Vent--Weddings

EratMama

Obviously this is just my feeling, and everyone does things differently.  No offense to anyone who had a child-less wedding.

When I was growing up, I loved going to weddings. When we got married, families were invited.  To me, weddings are a great thing for kids to see--people professing endless love, celebrating, dancing.

I understand not wanting to bring kids--weddings can go late. 

We just got an invite for a good good friend's wedding in mid-June.  It's a fairly casual event, but small (reception hall has capacity of 70.)  It never even occurred to me that this would be adults-only.  I get their reasons (again, max of 70 people).

At that weekend, Carrot will have been in our house one week.  And weddings are ALL DAY (ceremony at 2, cocktail hour, reception... one hour away...)  

First of all--I was looking forward to bringing her and thought she'd have fun. Secondly, I really don't like to be away from my kids that much. I like them and I miss them. Third,  If L and I are going to get a babysitter, I don't want to be around 70 other adults--but just the two of us, thank you very much.  Fourth--a babysitter for 9+ hours!?!  Her second week here!?!  Good thing my parents are so psyched about being grandparents

 

 

2mommiesinoh

 Sorry, the whole situation sounds sucky. 

I have never been to a child-free wedding (unless you count my bff's cruise wedding but that is only becaus eno one on the cruise had babies yet lol). While I understand the reasoning behind them, weddings around here are very family oriented and no where near as long as you described. Last one I went to I could have been gone only 6 hours if I had not stayed out at the reception all night dancing and such.

As far as a babysitter, I am like you if I am going to pay someone to be at my house the wife and I better be alone!

mandykatie

Ah, that stinks! Can you just for the ceremony and come home?

mypalbabs

I'd definitely skip that.  It will be an exciting time for your family and it's better spent together than apart.

ctbride08

It might be a regional thing, but around here its the norm for weddings to be kid-free.  Which is part of the reason that these days we decline more than we accept...its just way too much time away from the kids and way too much $$$ for a sitter.  I'd only go if it was a really close friend.

tdmklm

Our wedding was kid-full. All of the kids in our family participated in the ceremony (walking us down the aisle, singing, playing musical instruments, reading, etc). I don't think I'd go to a wedding, honestly, if I had to leave J for hours on end. My time with him is limited as it is.

2brides

Ditto, CT. I am only willing to pay $$$ for a sitter if it is a close friend of either L or myself. It sounds like it is going to come at a pretty volatile time in your transition and I would decline and spend that time getting everyone acclimated.

Kershnic

I read a whole lot of wedding etiquette while we were planning our wedding, and this is one issue where I come down firmly on the side of believing kids should be invited to weddings.  I know there's some regional variation, but as a Midwesterner like you (DW and I are east coast transplants, but will always be Midwestern in our hearts ) I'm even more firmly entrenched in this belief.  If it's a really close friend I'd go for the ceremony or dinner alone and skip the rest.  If it's a more distant friend I'd decline altogether. 

EratMama

Thanks everyone!  It just struck me, because I was unprepared for it (in fact, when it was just Pumpkin, the bride's father made a point to mention to us that he has a pack 'n play Pumpkin could sleep in in between ceremony & reception). 

We're close. If there were attendants in this wedding, L would be one. 

I think I might skip the ceremony & stay with the kids, and see if my parents can watch both kids for the reception.  We'll see.