Separation Anxiety since 4 months

mrsannie

My LO is almost 9 months and has had separation anxiety since he was about 4 months old. He screams when anyone holds him, even people that he knows. Anytime we've left him with a family member when DH and I have gone out, he has screamed almost the entire time and refuses to eat. We had to leave him overnight for a wedding and he screamed for the first hour, then calmed down, but didn't eat, went to bed on an empty stomach, still wouldn't eat in the morning and we came home to a lethargic, weak baby. 

We have to go to another wedding in a month and I am dreading it. I hate the thought of him going to bed without eating. We are trying to get out more without him in hopes to get him used to us leaving and coming back, but I am wondering if we are doing more harm then good and just traumatizing him. 

The only time he has been comfortable with someone holding him, is when we went on vacation for 6 days with the in-laws and by the 4th day of seeing his grandma, he let her hold him with us there.

Has anyone experienced this with their LO for this long? 

PunkyBooster

Have you talked to your pedi about this?

4 months is a big young for true SA. And not eating to the point of lethargy if mom and dad are away screams some kind of attachment issue to me. But I'm not a doctor or a shrink, which is why i suggest talking to your pedi.

 

sugarbear0524

I would wonder if the upcoming wedding is important enough to leave him with these circumstances. 

Is there any way to take him with you? Maybe stand in the back and hold him during the ceremony and cut your time at the reception short?  It would be worth it, in my opinion, so you wouldn't have to worry about him.  It would be hard to have fun if you knew he was miserable at home.

mrsannie

sugarbear0524:

I would wonder if the upcoming wedding is important enough to leave him with these circumstances. 

Is there any way to take him with you? Maybe stand in the back and hold him during the ceremony and cut your time at the reception short?  It would be worth it, in my opinion, so you wouldn't have to worry about him.  It would be hard to have fun if you knew he was miserable at home.

There is no way to take him to the wedding, it's on a yacht and we don't board til 7pm and get off at midnight. I might just stay home and let DH go (it's a good friend of his) if he is still having issues. Not worth it to me. 

To OP, I haven't talked to the pedi yet. He goes in 2 weeks so I'll mention it then.