Should I??...or Should I Not??

tpstover

Hi Ladies,

After having what felt like the worst first trimester ever....I am slowly approaching my due date (May 16). My first trimester consitsted of the father of my daughter, threathing me because I did not want an abortion. He is 24 and I will be his 3rd BM, my daughter being his 4th child. We have started communicating with each other again in my 3rd trimster after his 1st BM discovered that I was pregnant... LONG STORY SHORT... I am a forgiving person...but I will never forget the hurtful things he would say such as (Why would you have my child, when I will never love it), and etc... He has yet to apologize..but I am trying to be an adult about the situatuation and have some form of communication so my daughter will know his side of family. But my friends and family feel differently... They think that he needs to apologize before he has any form of contact with my daughter... Am I crazy for trying to just act like "that" never happen, and those awful words were never said...or should I just let it go. *NOTE* He has  no job and won't be able to help me in supporting my child* What should I do?

ldoo

You personal/financial issues should have no bearing on the baby's ability to see her father and his family, providing that you feel she'll be safe around him/her.

Just my opinion.

ashleyann331

Babies have no sense of money,or financial situations but they do know when their family isn't complete. Yes, not getting help is frustrating but you need to put aside that disappointment/anger towards him with that and realize that unless there is a safety issue for your child around him that you need to make sure he is able to see the baby. There is a fine line between not helping because he doesn't want to and not helping because he can't. You need to figure out which it is with him and then go about the situation.

Trust me, I get how hard it is to think about supporting a baby on your own but do you really want to have that anger every day for the rest of your life (yes, life- that child will always be your child. That doesn't automatically change the day your she turns 18) I get why your family thinks that way, they saw the hurt you have gone through and they are scared for you to go through anymore. My family is the same way. They also aren't the ones that need to figure out whats best for your child, YOU are. While it shows that they love and care about you, they also need to support you and the decisions you make regarding your child.

I would say don't forget what has been said to you, and let him know how it hurt you and if he apologizes accept it and if not you need to be ready to forgive him on your own. Its going to be a lot better mentally for you. 

FyreFlyeRush

I just reopened comm lines with JF after he threatened to take the baby away from me. I've told him he can see the baby, but the only way this will proceed without animosity is if he admits, apologizes, and explains his actions regarding taking the baby away from me. He apologized for being honest. I told him to try the apology thing again. 

I won't stop him from seeing him, but I don't have to be nice to him...and I sure as hell don't have to bend over backwards to make it happen. 

PS, this thingie called Child Support doesn't have anything to do with visitation. And they have this thing called the Attorney General. Contact them ASAP.