So I talked to DH about getting a therapist for me...

Actingdiva09

And he is totally on board! He said it doesn't matter how much it ends up costing us, he wants me to be able to communicate with him. I explained how I hated the idea of couples counseling (someone suggested it to me) because the thought of talking about all the crap I'm going through in front of him made me cringe. I know it hurt him to hear that, but it's true and he needed to know it.

So he's gonna stop asking me why I feel the way I do, since I explained that even I don't know that, and it only adds severe stress when he does, and makes me feel like a failure for not knowing why I feel the way I do.

Here's to therapy!!! 

Gregermis

Yay!!!!!!  So glad he is on board!!!

ahbEsq

I went to couples counseling with an ex and while the joint sessions could be torture, I really got a lot out of the separate sessions with the therapist.  Therapy can help you understand your own feelings so much better, and in turn it will help you communicate with your husband.  Good luck!

CCline09

Yay! That is awesome! I am the same way- I start counseling this week or next week (waiting for them to review my intake and pick a counselor) and I want to go alone. My DH wants to go together- but I'm just not ready yet to talk about things together.

 

Let us know how it goes for you! 

FreyaWin2382

I'm so glad he's being supportive! I can tell you that therapy has been very helpful for me....I began going after my second loss, and definitely think it has helped the depression that followed. 

I am proud of you for making this step! 

Mom2anAngel2

I think it will be wonderful for you!  GL!

pkaren

That's great he's on board with you seeking counselling. I went through a rough patch a couple of years agao while DH was overseas and I had so many things in my life go crazy I felt so out of control and depressed. He kept urging me to see someone, but I actually was a counsellor (addictions counsellor anyways) at the time, I just thought "what are they going to tell me that I don't already know?". I actaully broke down at my Dr's office and cried for 40 minutes. He wasn't an actaul counsellor, but just hearing what he had to say and giving me advice/suggestions to help me with my situational depression and validate my feelings as well made me feel better. I could only imagine how much better I would have felt with regular sessions. Good luck with the counselling, it sounds like you're feeling more hopeful already! (hugs)

LaTi07

Grats on the first (and hardest) step!

KacyChicago

OK, first let me say one thing: It has not even been a month, and it is OK for you to feel down and not want to talk about it. Don't be so hard on yourself that you haven't bounced back to your normal self already ... There is nothing wrong with that in the slightest.

Now, that being said, I'm going to my first appointment tonight, because almost four months later, I am seeing where I am having issues dealing with some trauma associated with our loss. I am excited and apprehensive all at the same time, but I really think it's going to help me out of this hole I am in.

I'm glad you're taking the step though, sometimes I wish I had went earlier.

rebekam

Yay! Here's to supportive DH's!

Actingdiva09

KacyChicago:

OK, first let me say one thing: It has not even been a month, and it is OK for you to feel down and not want to talk about it. Don't be so hard on yourself that you haven't bounced back to your normal self already ... There is nothing wrong with that in the slightest.

the biggest issue has been DH, though. He was the one pressuring me to answer "why" questions and essentially I got the vibe that he wanted to know why I didn't want to have sex, when I had no clue myself! So HE was frustrated, which put pressure on me. I wasn't putting pressure on myself

BOTB32010

I am glad he is on board. Hoping this is good for you.

Kpsbabyzoe

I'm glad he's on board with this.  And, I'm really glad that you're doing counseling.  I think everyone should, especially when you're going through this TTCAL process that we all are.  I'm a big fan of it.  I hope you are able to find someone that you really feel comfortable working with, that will make a big difference too.  GL!  Keep us updated on how it's going on.

ChloBub

I am really happy to hear this. It's been so transformational for me. GL!

kristina_1016

Another step forward!!! Take it a day at a time...

GatorBaby2012

I'm so so so glad!!!!! I understand how you feel about not wanting couples counseling. I wouldn't want that either. Not that I bad mouth DH or anything, but I feel less vulnerable when I'm by myself. Therapy has helped me sort out my thoughts in a way that I could eventually communicate them to DH. Kudos to YH for being on board and being so patient.

Also, FWIW, I started going once every 2 weeks, an hour each time. Now I'm more like every 3 weeks. 

lsuhoneybadger

Wonderful!  I sincerely hope it helps put things somewhat at ease for you.

Holly325

I highly recommend therapy!! After my last, and 3rd loss I started seeing a therapist. You just go through so many emotions and it really helps to talk to someone, and have them listen! Hugs!

KacyChicago

Actingdiva09:

KacyChicago:

OK, first let me say one thing: It has not even been a month, and it is OK for you to feel down and not want to talk about it. Don't be so hard on yourself that you haven't bounced back to your normal self already ... There is nothing wrong with that in the slightest.

the biggest issue has been DH, though. He was the one pressuring me to answer "why" questions and essentially I got the vibe that he wanted to know why I didn't want to have sex, when I had no clue myself! So HE was frustrated, which put pressure on me. I wasn't putting pressure on myself

Good, as I want to make sure you know it's OK to feel or not feel anything you are at this moment! Although shame on him, because it's also normal if you don't want to be having sex. But I do think it's harder for some men to understand what we go through. I will say, one session down, and I am so very thankful that I went, and I now know that it will be good for you to go. I hope it helps you tremendously.