Vacation without DD

littlelovelolo

Has anyone gone on a vacation without their LO?

BF's dad is getting married this summer, so we're making a week-long vacation out of it, just the two of us. My mom said it's fine for DD to stay with her and my dad, but lately she's been making me feel so guilty about it. "You should be spending your vacation time with your daughter, she'll benefit from it, just take time off from work and stay home with DD while BF goes to the wedding" etc.

DD spends time aplenty with just me, both during weeknights and during weekends when BF is doing his own thing, so it's not as if she's starving for Mom-time. In addition, I get two weeks off from work a year, so she'll be able to spend my second week off with me.

This will only be my second vacation since she was born; the first vacation was a trip to Disneyland for her first Christmas. I know I'll miss her terribly if I go on this trip, but I'd be able to call her every day if necessary, and I don't think I'll get a chance to meet all of BF's family for a long time after this (they all live either in CA or OR). We considered bringing DD with us, but we're planning on hiking, camping, and other adult-oriented outings with BF's family, and I feel like I need a little time to detox from school, work, and home just for a few days.

So is Grandma right, and I should just stay home while BF goes to the wedding? Or would I still be a good mom if I went away without her for a few days?

FyreFlyeRush

I haven't, but that's just me. A lot of parents leave their kids for a weekend. It's not a big deal. My daughter leaves me every summer to go to camp and has since she was 7. 

Sigir

*lurker*

How old is your LO? If they are not too young, I say go for it as long as the fallout you are getting from your mom is not too annoying to deal with.  Can you compromise and go for 1/2 the week and then come back?  

For me, I went on one vacation without my dc, which was my honeymoon.  I arranged my other trip away with my then-BF (now dh) as a long weekend when dc was with exh. 

Kelli7025

I think it is really important that you get some "adult time." You will definitely miss your LO while you are gone, but I bet you will come back feeling very refreshed. People forget that having 'me' time will actually make you a better parent. It clears your head and gets you refocused. I think this is a great opportunity for you and you need to look at it as a positive parenting decision and not a negative one. 

littlelovelolo

All good points. I wonder why my mom's so gung-ho on me staying home when she and my dad used to leave us with our grandmother while they went away on weekends.

Sigur, DD is 2.5. She's spent nights away from me before and always does fine with her aunt or grandparents. Most of the time she'll actually shoo me out the door when I drop her off. I may consider taking half that week and spending it here, depending on her reaction when I tell her about the trip.

Kelli, that is a super good point. I've always thought the same thing about having 'me' time, and I think that between going on this trip and taking the summer off from school, I'll be about twelve times a better parent than I have been. (Not that I've been a bad one, just a super frustrated one.)

Cam1027

I agree that it's important for you to get your time away as well.

I am going to GA for the Buffett concert in June with some friends and I am so looking forward to it. I know I will miss DS but I also need some adult time! My mom is going to keep him and she is more excited about that than I am about my trip I think.

It's good for them to get a break from us once in awhile too I think!

I hope you have a great time!

septmom11

I am .going on vacation next week.  I am nervous about leaving LO but i know she will be in good hands with her grandparents.  I definatly need this adult vacation.  My one HUGE guilt is i am gonig to be away for my first mothers day

mariagarcia495

I have never left my kids alone, vacations are for them too.

littlelovelolo

This is only half of my vacation time this year. We get 40 hours whenever we want, then a week off for Christmas, which is why I honestly have ended up not feeling bad about wanting to go without DD. She and I will have an entire week to do whatever she wants at the end of the year.

I'm only going to be gone for five and a half days, then she and I will spend the last two and a half days of my vacation together before SO gets home. I figured it was a pretty good compromise - doesn't push too much obligation onto my parents, gives me time to recoup before going back to work, gives me and DD some good mom-and-me time, etc.

Thanks for all your input, I really appreciate it!

jnjmommy0609

I did and you know what? I loved it. And I don't feel guilty about loving it. I would take another one without them. Not for years but still. I missed them like crazy but they had a great time. They stayed with their grandparents and were able to do all sorts of fun things with them. Of course you will still be a good mom. I hope you don't let anyone convince you otherwise.