Semen Results are in...not good :(

jessical0604

Hey ladies soo, after all this time of believing it was me we finally got the results back from my husbands semen analysis and his count was 8...no not 8 million just 8.... i haven't even told him yet and I'm dreading doing so, it breaks my heart to think about his reaction especially because i know he is going to take this really hard...

 don't know much about what happens now other then he has to make an appointment to see a urologist.

any ladies who have had experience in similar situation, whats to come advice would be greatly appreciated i know he is going to have a million questions whether he vocalizes them or not....

 thanks in advance not the results i was expecting at all i still feel in shock  

GraceInCA

I don't have any advice but just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about the results.

notquiteblushing

I'm so sorry. 

amd1982

I'm sorry to hear about your news - my only suggestion would be to remind DH that despite the fact that it might feel like it's his problem, you both are facing this together and will get through it together. My husband always says "we" and it makes me feel more positive, like a team. It helps when he says "we need to get through this" or "we'll figure it out." i feel a lot less defective. 

I know it sucks and MFI is probably very frustrating. GL and definitely make that uro appt!

branmuffin2112

I'm so sorry for your MFI diagnosis ((hugs)). Our situation is a little different because I'm IF too, so DH couldn't just blame himself. Our Dr broke the news to DH over the phone then he told me that night. It was tough, we both cried and held each other for a couple of hours. MFI is *so* hard, it really just takes time to wrap your mind around it.

Be extra good to YH and give him some space. My DH was kind of on edge about every little thing for a week or two. Just like others have said too, make sure he knows that you're in this together.

 

JBDamonM

I am so sorry Jessica.

I was in a very similar position with my husband. I got the call (8 million, 11% motility) and had to tell him, which KILLED me.

I agree with what PP said - keep referring to the WE in the situation and not the I or the You.

Also - reinforce that you're going to go tothe uro and see what your options are and that you will figure this out. Reinforcement will be key for him.

We are actually going to the urologist tomorrow. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

jessical0604

thanks ladies for all the advice I'm dreading him getting home tonight to tell him, i even debated on calling the doctor back and asking them to tell him, but does that make me a wuss? i don't know, him and i are in this together i just hope he can remember that, I'm sure he will need time to process it i just don't want to beat himself up it breaks my heart to think about 

brookelynpaisley

I am so sorry. A bad SA is really tough on a guy. He probably will take it very hard, but it's obviously best to be honest and talk to him about the urologist. I can't remember if there's one here, but there's an azoospermia (zero sperm or close to it) check-in on the IF board. The ladies are all very knowledgable.

branmuffin2112

jessical0604:

thanks ladies for all the advice I'm dreading him getting home tonight to tell him, i even debated on calling the doctor back and asking them to tell him, but does that make me a wuss? i don't know, him and i are in this together i just hope he can remember that, I'm sure he will need time to process it i just don't want to beat himself up it breaks my heart to think about 

No! Not at all, hon. DH was really glad that he heard it from the doctor instead of me. He was able to ask a few questions and clarify some things. He also rescheduled another SA at that time.

 

hootie123

jessical0604:

thanks ladies for all the advice I'm dreading him getting home tonight to tell him, i even debated on calling the doctor back and asking them to tell him, but does that make me a wuss? i don't know, him and i are in this together i just hope he can remember that, I'm sure he will need time to process it i just don't want to beat himself up it breaks my heart to think about 

My RE actually called my husband's phone to tell him about his bad SA - at first I was annoyed that he didn't call me - but I realized the reason.  I am actually really glad that the dr called him and I did not have to break the news to him myself.   Not that it makes it any easier once you have the diagnosis. 

GL - MFI is really tough - but you are not alone.  (((hugs)))

tayray1

I'm sorry..

LtlAngL

I'm so sorry. It would not be a bad thing to have the uro call him to discuss the results, specifically to give your DH a chance to ask questions you may not be able to answer. He is very likely going to have to repeat the test to see if there's any difference in the numbers. The only good thing is that 8 does not equal zero. Although I'm no expert, I would think that this would still lead to a biological child with ICSI. Hugs to you and your DH. 

JBDamonM

I was really not happy that I had to be the one to tell DH. But now that it's done - I  know it made it easier for him to hear it from me than the dr.

But - everyone is different.

good luck. Keep us posted and know that you are not alone.

BTW - My RE got someone pregnant with just three sperm, I know this b/c it's a co-worker of my one IRL friend who goes to the same RE I do. So don't give up all hope!

ungraceful13

I'm sorry it is rough. I had to tell DH the results and it was very hard. I try to be supportive and tell him how much I love him and that it doesn't matter, that we are in this together. It's ok to cry with him. DH and I both cried and then took a shot. It helped a little. I would suggest seeing an urologist if you aren't already.

imwithrebel

I'm so sorry.

amh612

I am so sorry about your results.  I would say that you know your H best, break the news in whatever way you feel would make him the most comfortable. 

diamante1181

Sorry for the news. I'm sure you are reeling right now, and probably obsessing on the "what's next" part. I know I would be. I don't want this to sound stupid, but it could be worse. Remember, you only need ONE boy to fertilize, and I'm sure your RE will come up with a solution for you guys. Keep your head up, sister

tmsetzer83

I'm sorry :-(

machole513

I'm so sorry. We are dealing with MFI and it was a complete shock to find out. I have PCOS but with meds I have easly gotten on track with ovulation. But MFI is much harder to deal with. Def get him into a URO ASAP and hopefully you can get some answers. And as PP said it can be harder for a guy, my DH holds his feelings in a about it so just let him know you are in this together. Good luck on telling him xoxo

BethanyB2609

I have no experience with MFI, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I can't imagine having to break that news to my DH. ((HUGS))

katib77

I'm so sorry about the bad S/A results.  Telling your H about MFI is heartbreaking but it's important to remind him that you love him for him, not his sperm.  And it's not his fault, anymore than the ladies with PCOS are at fault for their Dx.  

Talk to him about a repeat S/A and seeing a Uro.  And try to be optimistic, while I know it's tough.  And finally, if the repeat S/A comes back the same...there is a azoo sperm check in on the IF board I think it's on Fridays, but I could be wrong.

 

Kathy4678

I'm so sorry you got those results. MFI really sucks. 

My husband had a very similar result. He went to see a urologist that specializes in male infertility. The Uro put him on Clomid and Arimidex and it improved his count enough to get us to do IVF, but most likely they will tell you that IVF will be your only option.

It took my husband a very, very long time to come to terms with things, but in the end- it's made us stronger.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you have questions. ((hugs)) 

kellyrn9956

I'm so sorry to hear this. MFI is never easy. It's physically and emotionally difficult for the couple. We have a more mild MFI, yet my H took it quite hard. There are many ladies on the board with severe MFI experience that will be able to say the right thing better than me.

So for now...(((hugs)))

RequiresExalted

I'm so sorry, hon.  

I don't have any advice, just lots of *big squishy hugs* 

buckeyebaby814

I have no advice on MFI but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you didn't get better news and I hope telling your husband went ok.

MsGMChick

I'm so sorry about the news. Def get another done to rule out a fluke. Was he sick, on steroids, or anything in the last 3 months? ((hugs)) MFI is so tough. While ours has become more mild, MH still took it hard and still takes it hard each failed cycle. Just remind him its not his fault and you love him.