Depression question...

Actingdiva09

Ok so here's what's going on with me. Non-existent sex drive, an overwhelming desire to NOT talk (out loud) about how I'm doing or about the greater picture (baby in heaven, how I'm dealing with the grief), and I don't know how to grieve... Any suggestions? I don't think going to a counselor will really help right now since I don't like talking about it...

Also, am I alone in this? Or is this somewhat normal?

KDS1987

I was pretty much the same way earlier on. Honestly what helped me the most was writing a letter to DH about everything I was feeling. I had a hard time finding words to explain what I was feeling, but when I wrote everything out it was easier to have it make sense. Sometimes writing it out will help if you are struggeling to talk about it. Just remember that communication is so important in your marriage, so be careful not to shut your husband out.

Laurakat81

I think its somewhat normal...thats not saying its necessarily healthy either though. I did a LOT of blogging early on. It was the only way I knew to "talk" about it. As time went on I've found I'm able to put my thoughts into spoken words but I still prefer writing. That being said, I still don't know how to grieve really...all I know is when I feel something I let myself feel it...otherwise it never goes away and it gets bigger and worse. I do see a therapist now though...and I talk with him about all of it. It helps but I agree...early on I'm not sure I would have been able to put my thoughts into words and probably would have just sat and stared at the therapist!

As far as the sex drive goes...I think that is pretty normal too. It could be hormone related as your body gets back on track.

 

Missuskeekers

My doctor suggested I write a letter to my babies and do something to remember them by. I wrote the letter and then I planned on burying it with all the u/s photos and pregnancy paperwork and then planting two roses over top but then we started planning to sell our house and I didn't want to risk 'leaving them behind' so Dh and I both got matching tattoos to remember them by.

figgs0831

What you are feeling is normal.  I've found that writing helps.  I would write letters to my DH, my baby, or whoever was on my mind and then I would just rip them up.  It was just to get my feelings out.

I also had the same issues with going to counseling... but I just started going.  I realized that the way I chose to grieve was not working and I was getting stuck in a downward spiral.  It surprised me how easy it was to talk about my feelings to a complete stranger.  Oddly enough, it helps.  I don't have to worry about offended her, hurting her feelings, or anything.  I just say what's on my mind without any limits or filters.

holly_g13

I suggest a book called ' grieving the child I never knew ' by kathe wunnenberg. It has really helped me a lot. The main reason I got it was b/c I saw a section in the table of contents called... Husbands and wives grieve differentley. Thats what I was really looking for when I bought the book. But it has helpped with so much more. After each reading section it has what are called STEPS TO HEALING: The book has a little section where it will ask questions or have you read a quote or something like that. It has like half a page of lines to where you can answer them in the book if you'd like to. I highly reccommend it. You can get it on Amazon for about $10.39.

GatorBaby2012

Try writing, uncensored, then shred or burn it. Meditation and exercise are good too. When you're ready to talk, I'm here. I can also give you my therapist's info. She's great.

Actingdiva09

GatorBaby2012:

Try writing, uncensored, then shred or burn it. Meditation and exercise are good too. When you're ready to talk, I'm here. I can also give you my therapist's info. She's great.

I was actually gonna ask you who you went to

GatorBaby2012

Actingdiva09:

GatorBaby2012:

Try writing, uncensored, then shred or burn it. Meditation and exercise are good too. When you're ready to talk, I'm here. I can also give you my therapist's info. She's great.

I was actually gonna ask you who you went to

I'll send you a PM on FB. 

ChloBub

Normal, yes. Healthy, perhaps not. And I only say this from personal experience. I was in deep depression for a long time and only started getting better once I went to counseling and started actively MAKING myself do things that I knew would make me happy and healthy. It was exhausting at first, but I realized I wasn't getting better because I wasn't trying. Big ((((HUGS)))). I know how hard it is, but I do know it's possible to feel better. that doesn't mean you won't ever be sad or have hard days, but I feel like I'm out of the deep pit I was in.

CCline09

I feel ya. I have started to paint and that has been very therapeutic for me as it has been a great distraction and a healthier one instead of vegging out in front of the tv and eating junk food.

 

So maybe try to find a hobby? I think your blog is a great hobby and seems to be a great release.