xp: know-it-alls

mizjodi

Good morning! I mostly lurk here and read what's going on, but have a story that I know this board will especially appreciate. I am a FTM, but am having Little Pumpkin at a birthing center.

Anyhow, I mentioned that to a friend this weekend, and her response? Oh, you REALLY don't want to do that! Um, yes I do. I've done the research, and that's what I want! She went on about how great her c-section was, blah blah blah.

I was standing there thinking, Um, I'm not telling you all the reasons you shouldn't have been drugged and had a c-section!

Bonidiebabe

People need to justify their decisions and events that happened to them. Let her comments go in one ear and out the other. Good luck with your nb : ) 

AnaKat405

Don't you just love that?  The only way that would make any sense would be if she had personally done it and had a experience so severely adverse that it warranted such warning.  Even then, I wouldn't find sharing something like that appropriate unless I was asked.

mAnYaSha

Eh, just be happy that she is happy with her experience and move on. May be it's a defence mechanism.

Silly DH was arguing with me that birth centers don't take FTMs. LOL

 

sschwege

She got the birth she wanted, and you are planning for the birth you want

dani2480

It's super obnoxious, but I try to just let it roll off my back. I also try not to talk to people about my plans, unless I know they'll be supportive.

At my shower over the weekend, one of DH's aunts (who is crazy anyway) came up to me randomly and started telling me "get the drugs... no, seriously GET THE DRUGS! Don't even think twice, just GET THE DRUGS!" like right in my face. I don't think she's aware of my plans, and I haven't discussed them with her. But I just politely nodded and smiled, and then exited the conversation. I get that for her that's the "right" answer. Her opinion doesn't actually affect my birth experience, or the choices I have made, and getting into an argument with her over it isn't going to have a positive impact on any of it either. Instead, I figure I'll do what I've chosen, and then afterward if it comes up in conversation I can mention my experience and (hopefully) how much I was personally glad I did things the way I did. At that point, she can't try to talk me out of anything, as if I don't know better, because what's done is done.

MrsFelts

I'm going to a birth center too and DH's family thinks it's weird. They're all confused and asking how it works. "You don't get meds there? You can't even get an epidural? You don't stay a full day after?" Since I have had an educated response for all of their obnoxious questions it seems like they don't have anything left to say or ask. I'm sure that will change the closer we get to my due date.

mom2be0912

I'm in the same boat as you, a FTM, an October mama and having my baby at a birthing center! I haven't had any rude comments yet but I do get a lot of shocked faces when I tell others I won't be delivering at a hospital followed by a lot of questions. Or I'll get comments about how awesome their births were with all the drugs almost like they're super proud of it. Which is fine, it's just not my goal. I totally agree with you though. I would never criticize anyone for their choice in birth method. It is so personal!!

mizjodi

Thanks for all the replies! I do let it roll off my back, but it's still annoying/amusing that when it comes to pregnancy, EVERYONE is an expert!

stahlop

It's funny because I had a home birth and people still ask me if I had an epidural.  Um, no, you can't have drugs at home, hence why I did a home birth.  But once you've done a natural birth, people will be more open to asking you questions about it and not be so judgmental.  Well, most people anyway.