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Older multiples - socialising with other kids?
DH stays at home with the girls and they don't get out too much. They spend a lot of time playing in the back garden and things, but they're not going to parent groups or being around other kids so much. He thinks it's fine because they are twins and they always have a play mate, I'm not so sure.
Thoughts?
How often do your 19 month to 2 year olds see and play with other kids? When they do, do they normally hang out together or do they branch off easily?
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Re: Older multiples - socialising with other kids?
My 2yo are in day care, so I'm not sure that I'm a great comparison. Even still, we get out on the weekends a bit, too, to play with other kids. They usually do their own things when we're out and about.
If by playing together you mean DS steals whatever one of the girls have just to make them scream, then laughs as he gives it back, then yes, they play together. :-)
I think it's good for them to learn how to interact with others, not just siblings. It's just a different relationship. For example - not only does DS make his sisters scream, but he also brings them their blankets if they need them. With non-siblings, it's different.
I'm sorry, I'm not able to articulate well what I'm trying to say. I'll come back later and see if I can do any better.
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Our kids have been in daycare since 5 months, so they are used to being around other kids a lot. In group situations they are aware of one another (e.g. if one stays home sick the other will ask for them all day long) but not overly dependent. Whether with their classmates or at parties with kids they don't know as well, they're happy to split up and play with other kids, depending on what looks interesting.
I think at this age I would definitely start making an effort to socialize with others. They are at a point where they are learning social interaction behaviors (sharing, hugging, no hitting, etc) and they need to learn how to interact with peers outside the family. Playing with your sister is great, but figuring out how to deal with other kids in unpredictable and unfamiliar situations at the playground is also important.
Mine are kind of strange around other kids. It's like they hone in on the poor single kid like zombie children and start just staggering and gravitating toward them like they don't know what the other kid even is - the other kid gets scared and starts backing up toward it's mum and then mine break out into a quick zombie toddler shuffle toward the kid.
When they finally reach the kid it's like they try to pet him or her, like a cat. It's really funny but strange at the same time.
Once they've satisfied their zombie "let's terrify the other children" urges they go on to normal things like ignoring kids and stealing their stuff (not just toys).
Not sure what I should be doing to curb the "brains....brains!" style of making friends that they've developed.
lol at your zombie babies! I am sure as they get older their initial interaction will be a little less zombie-ish...
my girls were in a home daycare since 15 months, are currently with a sitter (we had some issues with the inhome) and have been on the waitlist and will start preschool/daycare in June...my girls play well together..
I think so long as your lo's are out and about around other kids a few times a week (like storytime, the playground, etc.) that there isn't really a need for a specific stuctured parent/child playgroup...but I do think as kids get closer to 3, they can really benefit from a preschool or more structured peer interactions...and that is when they start to actually play with other kids vs. just along side them...
We're in the exact same situation as you are. Two 19-month-old girls, my DH is a SAHD. They don't go to any structured play groups yet. It's just a lot for one person to handle them, since they don't like being in a stroller, and are still getting the hang of hand holding.
When we are around other kids, they call everyone from birth to about age seven, "baby". One of my girls introduces herself by saying, "Hi! I'm me!" That's not overly useful to anyone. She also tends to gravitate toward much older kids who tend to ignore her.
They don't actually stick together at all when they're in group situations. We still play man-on-man defense and take turns following them around.
I put my boys in DC 2 days a week at 15 months old, because otherwise they were not around other kids. When they were, they didn't know what to do. Now, they love the interaction with other kids, and one usually is going one way, and the other the other the way. I wanted them to learn how to play with other kids besides each other.
I do think it is important to get them out, whether it be play dates, local parks, or organized group type things. Since they have been in DC there is a huge difference in their social skills.
Mine are only 17 months but, the last time we did a playdate (it's been a good while) the babies all ignored each other and it was just mass chaos. When we've been with friends that have a singleton, they stuck together a bit more; the other playdates have all been with other sets of twins. The singleton is in daycare and she is far worse at sharing than my twins are - she's a year older and kept taking our kids' stuff out of their hands.
I guess I'm in the minority that doesn't really feel the need to socialize my kids on a regular basis at this early of an age. I always kind of felt like playdates/playgroups were more for the parents than the children. I'm an only child and they get far more interaction with other children than I did at 17 months old and we work on manners and sharing every day. I wouldn't stress about it, unless your H is just looking for stuff to do out of the house.
We didn't start doing much until the trio turned 2. At that point we joined The Little Gym for a weekly class, and started going to OMSI (hands on museum) and more play group type things. They started going to Pre school twice a week when they were a little over 3.
Xander branches off easily from his sisters, the girls stick together a little more but don't have a big problem being sep.
Probably 4 times a week?
I take them to story hour at the library usually once a week, a My Gym class once a week, and as long as the weather is nice we are at the park twice a week.
I have a handful of friends who SAH, so we spend time with them also. I don't think you have to join a group for them to interact with other kids- just take them to a public park, or the library. My girls to interact with other kids, but they're about to turn 2, so they're still at an age where they are self-focused. They play with each other and when we're with others they still do that, but also with the other kids. One of my girls is more dependant on the other so she tends to go where her sister is most of the time, but not all of the time.
Loving the responses, thank you!
I'm feeling much better about relaxing and not forcing DH to socialise the twins until they are 2. He's got until August, mwah ha ha ha. Poor guy.
I think that once they are better at listening and understanding the need to stay close to him he'll be a lot more comfortable.