FTM question about BC

cowgirltu

Hello,

As you can tell by my siggy, I am barely pregnant, but my DH and I are already talking about what kind of birth we want. At first he was totally against a midwife birth of any sort, but after watching BOBB and some other documenteries, he has come around, but is against a home birth, he wants us to use a birthing center.  My question is this, the closest birthing center to us is about an hour away.  Is that to far away?  There is a hospital about 15 miles away from our house, so if a home birth needed to be transferred, it wouldnt be that far away.  I feel like the birthing center is a good compromise, but it seems like a rather far drive, especially when laboring.  I just may have to convience DH a home birth is the best idea lol.  Any suggestions?  TIA!

Bonidiebabe

My suggestion would be to attend an orientation session at the center. Feel it out and see if it's right for you. As far as the drive, I think it's manageable. I put my hypnobabies on and was very relaxed in the car. My body did start pushing in the car so you would want to talk to the mw about when you should go. 

SWBs Wifey

I think that's totally reasonable.  I lived 45 minutes from the REGULAR hospital when I was pregnant with DS1.  My water broke at 8 am... and he was born at 3:16 AM after 14 hours on pitocin- AKA- the devil's favorite drug.  I had PLENTY of time.  THere are mom's that drive 2 hours to deliver at the birth center here.  It's awesome.  Definitely worth your time to go to the BC and talk to the midwives about your concerns.  When I have morning appts at my BC, I budget 1.5 hours for traffic and I'm usually early, but not always.  It's worth it to me to know I'm in the best, most capable hands that will be most considerate of how I want to labor. 

cowgirltu

Thank you ladies! I didn't think it sounded to bad, but didn't know if it was because I really want it to be an option lol. 

flyer23

What are your DH's reasons for being against homebirth but in favor of a BC?

A lot of people think that BCs are "safer." Especially if they've watched BOBB, which features primarily in-hospital BCs. Outside of NYC, most BCs are free-standing (not in-hospital). That is basically the same as being at home. My midwife attends both HBs and BC births, and says that BC births are simply "homebirth in someone else's home" -- she carries the same equipment, etc. regardless. So if your DH is agreeing to the BC because he thinks it's safer, well, it's not

Personally, I wouldn't want to drive an hour while in labor, if I didn't have to, so I'd lean towards HB. Still, I'd do the drive in a heartbeat if I felt like it was the best option for me. I'd suggest visiting the BC, and also meeting with some HB midwives. And don't rule out your local hospital(s), either! Some have midwives on staff, or very supportive OBs. Check out all your options and see what clicks.

MrsFelts

If we go the speed limit (ha!) we're about 40 minutes away from our birth center. Driving there for my prenatal appointments and such doesn't seem like that far. My advice would be to go to a consultation/orientation at the birth center and see if it's right for you. If you decide that you love it your midwife will have a plan to get you to the birth center in time for the delivery. She may just want to head to the BC earlier than most woman who live closer would. To answer your question I think an hour would be totally manageable and so worth it.

InfinityDreamer

An hour to the BC if you have a very quick labor and are in very active labor or transitioning in the car would probably be a bit rough.  As a FTM your labor is less likely to be quite so quick. Most BC are not as strict as hospitals so even after you have "checked in"  you can likely leave to go wander around - maybe there's a nice park or walking path nearby - or grab some food.  They also tend to be much more comfortable and hotel-like so if you feel better making the drive earlier in labor you'd probably still be pretty content hanging out there if you need to.

DH and I started out with compromising on a BC because my first birth had been at the hospital which I absolutely didn't want again, and I think DH initially thought of home births as being somewhat barbaric.  In the end we opted for the home birth because it was going to be with the same midwives but cost 2K less which was a big deal to us since we were paying out-of-pocket.  Looking back neither of us can imagine having done it any other way.  DH now tells everyone who will listen (and even a few who don't want to) about how great home birth is and how safe it can be.  

You have lots of time to make a final decision on the matter so maybe DH will come around and agree to a home birth after all.