I don't really want to do this anymore — The Bump
Infertility Veterans

I don't really want to do this anymore

I am 10dp3dt and I am not getting a second line.  I'm not holding onto hope and I would really appreciate if you could refrain from telling me to hold onto hope until my beta.  Realistically, I have the same chance of getting a postive beta now as I do of conceiving on my own in any given month.  Not too much.

I know I'm only on my first IVF with an FET, but it feels like there's no point of even doing this again.  If it didn't work this time, why would it work next time?  I feel like God is punishing me (and I'm not a religious person).  I feel like there must be something I could have done different to land me in a different place right now.  I dont want to be here. 

Why can't any of this be easy? 

 

 
me 33/DH 36
ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: I don't really want to do this anymore

  • Oh sweetie!  There are no words IF sucks/blows and is just totally unfair.  I wish I could take this away from you.   I am sorry that you have to be here and are going through this.  We are all here for you.
  • Big hugs BeeBee. IF is oppressive. I don't know why it's not easy for us. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to pinpoint some reason -- something you could have done differently. You're doing the best you can and that's all you can ask of yourself. Hang in there. 
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
  • Hugs.  Since you said you didn't want us to tell you to remain hopeful for this cycle, I guess I won't tell you that.... Even though I'm still thinking it.  :). In any event, we all feel your pain and we are here for you no matter what.   
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm so sorry. It just sucks and there is NOTHING we can do about it.  I don't think I am ever getting off this carousel and just keep going in circles. Few people understand but the ladies on this board do. I don't know why we are all here.

    As for not wanting to do this anymore: each of us has the power to say when we've had enough. I still haven't figured out how to pull the plug even though logic tells me to do it. You may not have or want any hope right now but I think that changes week to week and that is why we keep coming back and trying. The alternative is figuring out how to live permanently on the child-free side (if you aren't able to pursue other child options .)   Don't think for a minute that you did something to cause this. We all just drew the short straw. Big hugs.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • So sorry BeeBee...

    I actually had an experience yesterday that had me asking some of the same questions. I went to a different lab than I usually go to for first beta and it was nothing less than torture. I arrived early hoping to avoid a large crowd and I ended up arriving to something far worse...a lab full of new mothers and newborns. All of these new Mom's were bumped straight to the front of line and they just kept coming... I ended up waiting an hour to give blood for a test I already knew the answer to...BFN. I felt like it was a cruel act from above. I kept asking myself, what did I do to deserve this small room full of new Mother's and babies the day of negative beta test? Was a hidden camera in the room waiting for my breaking point?

    Okay, so I went off on a tangent there. Long story short, I am so very sorry you have to endure all this. I hope you take special care of yourself as you deal with these feelings. None of this is easy. Many hugs. 

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • IF really sucks on so many levels. 

    (((hugs)))

    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    image image image image
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • So sorry you're feeling the suckitude of IF. I know how you're feeling and I'm sending you understanding vibes. 

    P.S. RockPaperLove - that sucks and I'm sorry you had to go through it. Been thinking of you BTW. 

    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
  • It's not easy, it blows :(  I won't tell you something you don't want to hear, but a punching bag really might come in handy.  Or a trip to the gun range...or maybe that's just a Texas thing.  I'm so sorry B, my heart hurts and I'm just flat out pissed for you.  Take care of yourself and give yourself some time to deal with the emotions of this cycle.  I will continue to have faith that your happy ending is out there, and will be here rooting you on every step of the way.
    TTC #1 since 7/09


    Me: 31; DH: 35 (Leukemia Survivor!)


    DOR, MTHFR a1298c (homozygous)


    9/10-12/10 2 Clomid + TI cycles and 2 Clomid + IUI Cycles = BFN


    9/11 IVF w/ICSI #1: 7R, 6F; 5dt of 2 blasts, 2 frozen; Beta#1 = 174 Beta#2 = 110 Beta#3 = 334 Beta#4 = 246 e/p - Treated with 2 rounds of MTX


    11/23/11 FET #1 = c/p


    3/12 IVF w/ICSI #2: 3/16 5ER, 2M, 2F w/icsi; 3/21 5dt of 2 blasts; 4/4 Beta #1=1423 4/9 Beta #2=>5000 BFP!


    ~P/SAIFW~


    image

    BabyFruit Ticker



  • I am so sorry. It sucks so bad. I don't know how I did 2 more. I must be crazy to think of doing a 4th one. Hugs.

    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I won't tell you to hold on to hope because I hate when people do that to me.  I am though very sorry. 

    I def. understand the feeling punished feeling - I feel that way every single day.

    I so wish things could be easier for the ladies on this board.  huge ((hugs))

    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
    Baby B's heart stop beating at 9 weeks 5 days
    Our little miracle baby is a boy. :)

    Baby Boy Owen and Baby Girl Avery were born too early on Feb. 13, 2011 due to a pedunculated fibroid, incompetent cervix and suspected placental abruption.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    "What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose." - Henry Ward Beecher
    SAIF/PAIF Welcome
    Lots of love and luck to my PAIF/3T/IF Veteran ladies, especially my dear friend Zookie. Congrats to Papps, Teach84 and Starbuck on their little ones.
  • Big hugs, hun. IF sucks and is incredibly unfair. We're all here for you.

    Renee- 37 DH - Chad - 39
    2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
    3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks 
    5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
    D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
    Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
    5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
    FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
    1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
    IVF - May - BFN
    6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
    9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
    10/13 - BFP!!
    It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker





  • ((hugs)) I'm sorry sweetie! It just hurts so bad. Please know you are not being punished for anything. There is nothing that you or I or anyone here did to deserve this. We just got a sh!tty roll of the reproductive dice. Take care of yourself doll. 
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


  • ((hugs)) I am so sorry.  This totally sucks.  I am right there with you on the feeling like I am being punished.  We are here for you ((more hugs))
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


  • ::hugs::

    thinking of you. 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

  • :::hugs::: it's not easy, it'll never be easy.  I wanted to give up after every cycle... and with IVF, my breaks got longer and longer and longer between each (well over a year between my last two).  I came back when I felt strong enough.  I'm not telling you that you need a break, you need to do what's best for you.  But we get it...that "why me? what on earth did i ever do that i deserve to live in this hell?"  But that's not the case, and there's no answer. . .which is sometimes worse.  

    i will continue to hold hope for you when you feel you can't hold on anymore.  ::hugs:: 

    S/PAIFW
    Tara & Dave - TTC since September 2006
    PCOS - dx 1999 (amenorrhea) | freakishly long fallopian tubes
    Hypoglycemic | thyroid issues | severely anemic
    Multiple Clomid cycles of 50, 100, 150 - absolutely no response
    Follistim 50/100 | Follistim 75/125 | Follistim 100/150 IUI - all BFNs
    Converted IVF - BFP - m/c | FET - BFN | IVF #2 = BFN
    IVF #3
  • My heart is hurting for you.  It's just not fair. 

    TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
    IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
    Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
    IVF#2=BFN
    IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • God, I know that feeling all to well and it makes me so sad someone else knows it too.  I have been where you are and it sucks.  I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better just know I am here from you!  Big hugs...

    Next time you are in Houston, maybe you can get a second opinion.  Be able to share other options with your current RE. 

    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
  • Oh BeeBee :( Huge hugs, I am so sorry ,it just isn't fair sweetie...
    3 years to conceive her, 41w3d to incubate her, a lifetime to love her


    [image

    My little girl... My biggest joy
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I am so, so sorry.  But please don't ever think you're being punished or that if you'd done something differently you'd be in a different place now... I know it's easy to feel that way, but it isn't true.  This is just the random $hittiness of life; we just drew the short end of the stick.  In a way that's worse because it's totally senseless and random and makes no sense... but just please remember that this is in no way your fault.

    (((huge hugs)))

    Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.

    IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.

    Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.

    image image image BabyFruit Ticker

    Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)

  • Oh BeeBee, I'm so sorry ((BIG HUGS)). It's so unfair that anyone has to deal with IF and be in this situation. ((MORE HUGS))
    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • It sucks!!!  IF is just hell.

    Whenever we were burnt out on treatments, cycling and just feeling like we were being punished we took a break.  We went on vacation, did things to make us happy, took weekend get-a-ways and did whatever we wanted.

    When we're ready to start again we do.  

    ((HUGS)) cutie.  We're all pulling for you.

     

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
  • ((((Hugs))))
    After 4.5 years our miracle IVF baby is here!
    Born 7/30/13
  • We must be thinking the same thoughts. I am over it. If it wasn't for the financial part, I would have insisted we move onto adoption by now. (Already have the HSA set up and getting the other part of the money for IVF #3) I don't know if I want to face another m/c or BFN.  

    As I told my BFF, I just want it to be over so that we can move on because I am tired of the disappointment.  

    Pursing Domestic Infant Adoption through a local agency. In the meantime, our dog is our baby.  Bumping from Portland, Oregon. 
  • Ugh, I am sorry hon. IF sucks big time. I have been there many times wondering if I want to do this anymore and I have yet to do an IVF. Part of me is content about it and then part of me keeps saying, "just one more.".
    TTC since June 2009
    DX: MFI June 2010 & DOR Sept 2011
    Various forms of medicated cycles since June 2010
    IVF #1 tentatively scheduled for 2013
    Doing acupuncture and focus on weight loss in the meantime



    S/PAIF welcome








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    image




  • ((hugs))

    I don't why the journey is so hard for us and so easy for others. It's not fair and it sucks.

    TTC with severe MFI since 9/08 IVF w/ ICSI #1 May/June 2010= BFP twins
    Callan George and Bennett Charles born and died 11/7/10
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    FET #1 April 2011= BFN
    FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
    FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138 Pregnancy Ticker
    Living After Losing
  • Huge hugs this is just so unfair and my heart is breaking for you, I'm so sorry that this happens to any of us or that we have to go through so much for even the chance to be a parent. Take the time you need to process whatever you need to. Right now is the depths of the worst part of it - the losing hope - whether you find hope again for this road or hope for a different one - I trust fully that you will be okay and we will always be here for you.
    2 IVFs & 1 FET. Welcome home baby girl!
  • (((HUGS))) thinking of you

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


  • Thank you for your support, friends.  I am feeling a bit better today.  Not for this cycle, but for my future.  Maybe it will include a baby, maybe it won't, but today I found it in me somewhere to believe that I will be happy again. 

    Thanks for the ((hugs)), I needed them!

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • image BeeBee08:

    Thank you for your support, friends.  I am feeling a bit better today.  Not for this cycle, but for my future.  Maybe it will include a baby, maybe it won't, but today I found it in me somewhere to believe that I will be happy again. 

    Thanks for the ((hugs)), I needed them!

    Oh hunny...I am sorry I didn't respond sooner. We have been moving and I cannot bump via my phone. This hurts my heart but I am so happy to hear you are doing a bit better. I am so upset this didn't work. I may not know you IRL, but I was rooting so hard for you I am just devastated to hear this.  Sorry isn't enough, but I am hear for you if you need an ear. Many hugs and all the strength I can muster to get you through.

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    TTC since March/April 2010
    DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
    DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
    June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
    Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
    IVF - January 2012: BFN
    FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
    After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
    image
  • image BeeBee08:

    Thank you for your support, friends.  I am feeling a bit better today.  Not for this cycle, but for my future.  Maybe it will include a baby, maybe it won't, but today I found it in me somewhere to believe that I will be happy again. 

    Thanks for the ((hugs)), I needed them!

    ((hugs)) my friend.

    TTC since June 2009
    DX: MFI June 2010 & DOR Sept 2011
    Various forms of medicated cycles since June 2010
    IVF #1 tentatively scheduled for 2013
    Doing acupuncture and focus on weight loss in the meantime



    S/PAIF welcome








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  • oh beebee, huge (((hugs))) thinking of you, and rooting for you!
    **~*Noelle*~**
    Happily Wed DH in May 2010
    June 2012: DD#1 born after countless fertility cycles, our 4 year old miracle 
    TTC #2: current cycle: 225iu Menopur for 4 weeks, Ovidrel Trigger= BFP! Beta #1; 333, Beta #2 713! 1st u/s showed TWINS (7/18)
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm just now seeing this. I'm so, so sorry. :( I was really hoping this would be it for you. I know it's so hard to keep going after these failures. The success stories of the ladies on this board honestly keep me going. I now know it is possible to have a failure or two or three and still be successful eventually. It's hard to keep the hope up, but you will find it again. Thinking of you!!


    DH: Severe MFI/Azoo Me: Compound heterozygous MTHFR
    IVF #1= m/c- methotrexate @6w2d
    FET #1= BFN
    IVF #2= m/c- D&C @8w5d
    IVF #3= Beta #1 9dp5dt= 252, Beta #2 11dp5dt= 417, Beta #3 17dp5dt= 4,952
    US #2 @ 7w2d= twins, baby B measuring behind
    US #3 @ 8w5d= Baby A doing well, no HR in baby B
    *S/PAIF always welcome* BabyFetus Ticker
  • image BeeBee08:

    Thank you for your support, friends.  I am feeling a bit better today.  Not for this cycle, but for my future.  Maybe it will include a baby, maybe it won't, but today I found it in me somewhere to believe that I will be happy again. 

    Thanks for the ((hugs)), I needed them!

    I'm just checking in today, but wanted to send you a hug.  I wish I could make every day a happy day for you.

    Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
    3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
    3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
    4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
    PPROM at 31w, delivery at 32 weeks of two beautiful girls
    image
  • I'm so sorry. Sending big hugs. I'm not going to offer false hope - but I will say that the only thing that made me continue with treatment after IVF #1 failed was my overwhelming desire to be a mother. Even still - i sunk into a deep depression that lasted a long time.

    Eventually what helped me was to have a few sessions with a therapist that my RE recommended who specialized in IF.

    THinking of you.


    Dx: MFI, AMA, DOR, low AMH and homozygous c667t MTHFR


  • (((hugs))) Oh hun. I know how you are feeling. IF sucks and losing hope sucks. I wish that it didn't have to be this hard for all of us.
    DX PCOS w/IR 01/08.
    Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
     
    My IF/Everything Blog
    There's No Crying in Baseball
    ***My posts are always SAIFW**
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