Just a rant...

Josiecat

DH and I live in NYC. At times it's great to be surrounded by people, at other times, I just want to bury my head in the sand.

It was a beautiful day out today, so we took walk. It turned into the walk from hell. Every single mother was out with her child. All these pregnant women were out walking too. Fathers were pushing strollers. Kids were playing with eachother. Mother's Day ads were EVERY. WHERE. 

We came home and I cried. It's been 2 weeks since our second loss. The hardest part is grappling with the feelings of "omg I want to be pregnant NOW" and "omg I don't want to ever get pregnant again". It's this tug-of-war that is going on inside and it just won't let up.

Tomorrow is my co-worker's baby shower. She's on her third child. This one was a surprise. She's a really nice woman, but boy, am I not a fan of hers at the moment.

I hope one day all of us on here get to write rants about backaches because of our huge bellies, rants about diaper rash, rants about how our lives are so crazy because we have a baby.

Thanks ladies for being there, it's much appreciated.

meandhim725

First off I'm sorry for your loss. Secondly, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I feel exactly how you do. It hurts so bad to see pregnant women right now. I want to be happy for them but I feel this sorrow, this longing to be them. Even looking for a gift for my mom for mother's day is sad, all the mothers to be gifts. I really don't know how I'll make it through Mother's Day that will truly be a challenge. I had a break down yesterday just knowing that I would have been going into my second trimester. I might just hide away on Mother's Day. However, through this know that there will be bad days but good days are coming. Really looking forward to the day when I see you ranting about backaches because of huge bellies :-)! Can't wait for my rant to come either!