PT frustration - goes at daycare but not at home...HELP! — The Bump
Pre-School

PT frustration - goes at daycare but not at home...HELP!

I just don't know what to do.  DD stays 100% dry all day at day care, and has for a couple of months now.  She's even going poop in the potty at day care.  But at home, I'm lucky if I can get her to go pee in the toilet even just one time during the day.

We've tried sticker charts, she could care less.  I even tried the 'get 5 stickers get a special toy thing', and it basically worked until she got 5 stickers and got the toy.  We've purchased big kid undies thinking that would entice her...nope.  We've purchased special toilets and books.  I'll ask her if she has to go, she says no, and literally 2 minutes later she goes in her pull up.  Yesterday she flat out told me she'd poop in the potty at day care but not at home.

I just don't know what to do to get her fully transitioned at home.  I'm sick of buying pull ups :)

Re: PT frustration - goes at daycare but not at home...HELP!

  • I should also add...I'd like advice on how I should react when she does go in her pull up...I know I can't get mad, but should I show her I'm dissapointed?  I don't know what to say or do when she does this.
  • I would do away with the pull-ups.   They're the same as diapers and there's no real consequence if she pees in them.   With underwear if she pees she has to stop what she's doing, get cleaned up, get new undies, new pants, etc.   

     I would also not bother with the stickers or any other rewards.    Once you make it into a BIG DEAL she will resist it even more.    Put her in undies, tell her she needs to use the potty at home and she will not have any pull ups anymore.   Yup, she will probably have a lot of accidents the first few days but once she sees you are serious she will use the potty because it's uncomfortable to be wet and it interrupts play time. When she does have an accident don't make it a big deal.   "Oops, you wet your pants.  Next time you have to pee you should sit on the potty" and then change her.   Any toys that get wet when she pees get taken away for the rest of the day to be cleaned.   Again, don't make it a big deal... "That toy is wet, you can play with it again tomorrow after Mom cleans it."     

    At her age she's probably just showing her control over the situation.   Once she thinks you don't care one way or the other she'll use the potty like she does at preschool. 

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  • Hmm...this is my old account/signature.   My son is actually 4, not 2, in case you were wondering why I'm talking about potty training!   :)  
  • You're going to have to suck it up and deal with accidents and dirty pants to win this battle.  Pull ups are just sending her the message that she doesn't have to go in the potty.  When she goes to the bathroom in her pants you'll have to let her know that you don't care, she's the one uncomfortable and when she decides to go in the potty instead her life will get easier (yeah of course yours too but you can not let her know that).  If she pees make her take her own cloths off and put them in the laundry, I'd make her take a bath or wash in the sink to help draw out the process and get her own new cloths.  If she poops she has to dump it in the toilet, do all clean up in the bathroom and again make her bath to get clean. No easy clean ups and then back to playing.  Some parents make their kids rinse out the dirty underwear too but for my boys that would have probably been fun to them, blech.

    Also, no favorite clothes until she's trained and I'd implement a reward chart along with it the entire process.  Maybe she needs more immediate rewards, an M&M each time or something.  What is important to her, screen time, outdoor time, favorite toy or video?  Figure it out and make the rewards worth it.  Figure a couple toys are going to be cheaper than another year of pull upsWink

  • I don't have any advice, but just wanted to let you know we're in the same boat.  So much so that I've actually considered putting DD in f/t daycare/preschool instead of 1/2 days just because she does so much better there :)
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