Is this just me?

Gregermis

All I could think of mid way through my D&C was that I don't ever ever ever want to go through that again.... not the emotional part.  Physically it hurt like hell, I'm not sure the adivan did a damn thing other than help me sleep after I got home.  Then I started think, OMG, if I can barely make it through this, how am I going to make it through labor and delivery.  I was really more okay with all of this going into it... today I feel so broken and lost.  I was driving home from running an errand and traffic was slow because of construction and I just lost it.... started screaming and crying in my car.  I just don't know what to do with me

winofairy

(((HUGS)))

I am sorry the procedure was so bad for you.  I don't remember much of mine.  I was put to sleep and only had mild cramping afterwards.  After mine I took the whole week off of work and didn't leave my house.  

It's heartbreaking!  I wish I had better words for you!

SweetDahlia

Sorry. Were you awake? I was out cold for both of mine. I didn't really have much pain either time.

Hugs.

Gregermis

.... I guess I can make sure I am not awake next time.  Yes, I was awake.  Maybe I just need time, but I am so terrified of losing another pregnancy.  I feel like I got a huge dose of hormones and I don't know where they came from.  

Aegis2005

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry that the procedure was so rough.  IF is such an emotional roller coaster, and you're not alone having a melt down in a car.

Thinking of you.

AmCheri

I can't believe you were awake!  That's terrible!  I was under twilight sedation, and I don't remember anything, though I'm told that I woke up a couple of times.  And, apparently, I kept kicking my RE.  I'm sure he deserved it.

I'm so sorry everything is crap right now.  I'm scared and angry, too.  You're not alone.  Are you seeing a therapist?  I started after our m/c.  I think it's helping a little.  Ughh.  I don't know what to do with myself either.  Big hugs.    

Mayan2011

I am so very sorry sweets.  D&C's are very tough.  I had a breakdown on the operating table as they were putting me to sleep for my first D&C.  I knew that when I would wake up that it would really all be over - my baby would be gone - completely.

Screaming and crying is completely part of this.  You need to grieve your loss and the dreams you had for this child. 

As far as being strong enough for labour, I know you are.  I think deep down, you know you are too.  It is just so hard to see that right now because of where you are.  Take some time out for yourself over the next little while.  You need it, you deserve it.

I am sending you much strength and lots of hugs.

mdluv21

((hugs)) I am sorry hon.  I hope it gets a little easier.  There are still sometime where I have breakdowns at random times for little/no reason.  IF and loss def. sucks.

blueberries8

(((hugs))) Thinking of you today. D&Cs really suck. It probably would have been easier if you could have received a spinal or general anesthesia. I am so sorry they didn't give you enough to manage the physical pain. Also, I don't think your experience today says anything about how you will handle labor when you are in a healthy pregnancy - first, a D&C IS really painful if you don't get enough to manage the pain, and second, I imagine it is so totally different when the physical pain is for a good cause and you get a happy ending from it. Please be gentle with yourself.

XV11Star

I am just so very, very sorry Gregermis.  I wish I had the words...

Sending you a huge hug!!!

Gregermis

I think I learned a valuable lesson this time around.  Thank you ladies! 

BeeBee08

All I can say is I'm sorry and I'm sending you big ((hugs)).  I wish this was never a situation you had to experience. 

farmerlynda

(((huge hugs)))

I'm so sorry that was so painful and that you had to go through it at all.  I agree with PPs...  I think that experiencing physical and emotional pain together is so much different than what labor would be like, which would be physical pain for a miraculous reason.  I'm sorry that you were awake during the procedure, I can't even imagine.  It seems like they should have put you under or given you more pain meds

MandaS08

I'm so sorry that your D&C didn't go well.  Even though it really sucked, you made it through-I feel like my body can amaze me at what it can withstand, including labor and delivery if I get that far.

Things will get better-you won't always feel the way you do right now-but its normal to feel like that after what you've been through.

Hugs!

LaLe09

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. I think the emotional pain can intensify the physical pain during something like this. Our bodies were made to go through labor and delivery, not a D&C. You will be just fine when that time comes. Hope you feel better soon.