Black hole

emikat

That's what I feel like I am in.  I just feel like people don't know what to say.  I'm at a loss on what to feel and every one either expects me to just move on, or has nothing to say to me.  It's like there's no one that can understand how this feels and the confusion I have about some things.  I know people who have experienced it do understand, but yet I still feel like I'm stranded somewhere alone.  I know there may not be any answers and it's all just speculation on what happened, or could I have found out earlier.  I had my D&C yesterday and yet it feels like it happened so long ago.  Given that I'm going to be 42 in a couple of weeks, I don't have time to sit and think too long.  We've already made a consultation appointment with an RE to see what our next steps are.  But sometimes I feel like I'm on a speeding rocket and sometimes I feel like I'm standing still.  I don't know what I'm here asking.  Just putting it out there. 

FreyaWin2382

I once told my DH that sometimes, following my last loss especially, I felt like I was standing in the middle of a crowd, screaming and raging inside where no one noticed. No matter how much others may try (or not try) a miscarriage can be a very lonely experience.....no one knew that baby the way that you did, no one else had the same physical bond and so your loss will be stronger.

The best advice I can give you is to make yourself keep talking; to us, to your DH, to your family (if you are close), your best friend....don't hide how you are feeling from those closest to you, even if you think they won't understand or can't do anything hiding it doesn't work and will burden your spirit with even more pain. After my second miscarriage I began seeing a therapist and think that it has helped tremendously....no drugs, no couch, just talking to someone who I didn't have to worry about judging me or hurting their feelings with my words.

I am so sorry you are in this place....but please know that while it feels like it now, you aren't alone. (((HUGS)))

jenn0021

FreyaWin2382:

The best advice I can give you is to make yourself keep talking; to us, to your DH, to your family (if you are close), your best friend....don't hide how you are feeling from those closest to you, even if you think they won't understand or can't do anything hiding it doesn't work and will burden your spirit with even more pain. After my second miscarriage I began seeing a therapist and think that it has helped tremendously....no drugs, no couch, just talking to someone who I didn't have to worry about judging me or hurting their feelings with my words.

Wise words. 

OP, I'm sorry you're feeling so alone but I do think most of us can relate. A m/c is such a traumatic experience that not many people can understand and even if they try, no one will ever feel exactly the same as you. We all deal with things differently. Sending you some ((hugs)), we're here for you.

Allycat11

((hugs)) I am so sorry you feel this way.  My m/c was 6 months ago and everyong expects that I should be over it by now, it is very frustrating. 

imwithrebel

I'm sorry for your loss. It's always hard, but it does get better. Time has also seemed weird to me - on one hand, it seems so long ago that I found out I was pregnant, but on the other hand, the pain still feels so fresh and I can't believe it's been a month since I had my most recent loss. Good luck with your consultation and making decisions about how to proceed next. Just take everything one day and one step at a time.