A little confused

star1123

My son is almost 17 months old, and in many ways I've been suffering from PPD since he was born to some extent.  I go through periods where I am depressed, and then I am fine for awhile.  But recently I've had a very difficult time to the point where there are some days I burst into tears multiple times a day.  I avoid conversations when someone asks about my son because I can instantly feel the tears welling up and I feel like a total lunatic. 

I have always suffered from hyopchondria, and since my son turned a year, it's heightened with him.  He started to be late on some social skills, and it has had me overly paranoid he has some developmental delay - like Autism.  Even now he's 17 months old and only has about five words.  My doctor has reassured me numerous times he's fine, just a tad on the later side of normal for social stuff, but is absolutely fine.  Even daycare insists he's fine.  But the fear is consuming me and ruining this time with my son.

Also, my husband has been working a ton and I'm often left alone here with him, and it's extremely isolating.  I feel 100% responsible for so many things and there are times I feel like I will literally break if I'm asked to do one small thing.

Some days are so unbearable and I can barely keep myself together, but then some days I'm great.  My husband and my mom both are concerned and they both feel that I am suffering from depression.  I will admit that the low days are more awful than I've ever felt before and it's extremely difficult to cope.  But then there are days like today where I feel really quite happy. 

Yesterday was the low point and I promised my mom and husband I would call my doctor first thing on Monday and my husband and I even decided I probably need to go on an anti-depressent. 

My question is, is it normal to feel like this - one day is the worst day of your life and the next day great?  I don't know what is happening and why this is happening.  I just feel ridiculous calling my doctor and explaining this and worry I will go in on a day that is fine and she will think I'm crazy claiming I'm depressed.

Any advice, insight, anything would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

findingmyshoes

What you are going through sounds a lot like PPD.  I can definitely be happy one moment and sad the next.  I am anxious all the time, and worried about stuff that doesn't make sense, even to me.  Both my husband and my mom encouraged me to get help- and keep working through it; it takes a little fine tuning.  
If two people think you are depressed, it is certainly worth looking into.  You will not sound crazy at all; if you are anxious, regularly miserable, and under pressure, those are all completely symptoms and you are wise to check them out.  It can't hurt to check, right?