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TTC After a Loss
Actingdiva09
member
Why? Just why?? (pg mentioned, not mine)
Actingdiva09
member
DH's best man moved to Chi-town last summer, so our communication is slim these days. Well they're pg, and FULLY aware of our loss... I just got a text that said "It's a boy!!"
Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot. Are people really THAT STUPID?!?! I am being VERY public with my loss blog and the struggle I'm having! Why on God's green earth would you text me that less than a month after my loss?!?!?!
"For I know the plans I have for you,
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why? Just why?? (pg mentioned, not mine)
Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant
Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB
baby girl born 5/10/13
TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28.
IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!! Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!
Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl
Great. Just found out it's DH's fault... He never told him we lost the baby. And since Facebook doesn't share stuff in your newsfeed with people you don't actively talk to, they must not be getting my blog updates...
Eta: so now how do I let him know without making him feel like crap for sharing his joy with his friends? If I let DH handle it, it'll be not very sensitive...
Our TTCAL Blog--Newbies and Lurkers Please Read!
♥♡♥ PAL/PGAL welcome♥♡♥:-/ This is a kind of awkward situation. I'd probably call or e-mail the wife and tell her something along the lines of, "I'm so happy for you, but I'm having trouble expressing that right now because I recently had a miscarriage. I just wanted to let you know so that you don't think I'm being impolite or inconsiderate if I take a bit to respond to your announcements since I'm still working through my own grief about us losing our child. I wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy and would be happy if you would send us an announcement when your son is born so we can see the little guy!"
Just a suggestion. I'm sorry you're in this situation.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I think you worded that perfectly. OP, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this right now. Like gregermis said, sometimes people are blinded by their own happiness,.
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
My Blog: The Canadian Housewife PGAL/PAL Welcome My Chart
I am so so sorry. I had a good close family friend send me texts a few weeks ago when they had there baby. It was difficult. The only thing I can think of is maybe they would think we would offended if they 'left us out'.
Either way, it sucks
Hit the nail on the head with this one.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
I was thinking this exactly. I think that if they did know about your loss, they would struggle with the idea of keeping you out of the loop to spare your feelings versus keeping you out of the loop and causing you to feel hurt by the omission. I really am sorry you are having to deal with this though, I feel like everyone on this board (myself included) is just constantly being bombarded with everyone else's pg announcements/news lately. Ugh.
Oh. Eep. I think honestly is the best policy here. If it was me, I would probably draft a vulnerable email explaining my loss as well as expressing happiness for their news. I would also mention that it is hard to personally hear about their pregnancy and hope they will not be offended about my lack of involvement due to my grief at this time.
*edited for wording
TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)
BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d
BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13
BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks
BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby
BFP#2 6/10/12 ~ EDD 2/21/13 ~ mm/c 7/12/12 ~ D&C 7/13/12
BFP#3 2/23/2013 ~ EDD 11/5/13 Beta#1 125, Beta#2 436, Beta#3 ???
OK just read all the comments. This is really well worded and I think its a great way of letting them know what is going on with you and letting them know you are happy for them as well.
BFP#2 6/10/12 ~ EDD 2/21/13 ~ mm/c 7/12/12 ~ D&C 7/13/12
BFP#3 2/23/2013 ~ EDD 11/5/13 Beta#1 125, Beta#2 436, Beta#3 ???
BFP #2: 8/31/12 EDD: 5/18/13 Chemical pregnancy: 9/4/12
BFP #3: 5/17/13 EDD: 1/24/14 Loss at 5 weeks: 5/29/13
Lots of testing, all clear with the exception of compound heterozygous for the MTHFR mutation.
Cycle 1: Femara, trigger shot, Bravelle added due to slow response = BFN
Cycle 2: Cancelled due to two cysts =(
Cycle 3: Femara, Bravelle, trigger shot and IUI = BFP then loss #3
Cycle 4: Femara, Follistim, trigger shot and IUI = BFP! EDD: 6/7/14
PGAL/PAL welcome