MH and I disagree

chouli77

I don't mind buying second-hand clothes because you wash them before wearing them. He does not agree.

Some friends of ours sent over 3 massive bins of little boy clothes size 9-24M and said take what we want and return the rest. He said I could go through it, but he'd rather our son get new things. I see absolutely zero problem with LO wearing hand-me-downs if they're washed (by me) and in good condition.

Your thoughts?

Everyusernameistaken

 What is your husband's reasoning?

I see absolutely nothing wrong with hand-me-downs, particularly since kidlets grow out of stuff too fast. My group of friends pass baby clothes around like crazy.  Most of my friends actually got most of their clothes from swapmeets and Craigslist, and then pass those on! 

I've already acquired a nice big garbage bag full cute hand me downs

AndromedaEclipse

Used items are often safer because irritating dyes and chemicals can stick around on the clothing for quite a few washes.

strawberrytree

I'm curious about your husband's reasoning too. Is it a 'my kid has to have the best' kind of thing or does he have another reason?

Babies and little kids grow so quickly, and are often pretty tough on their clothes. I plan to dress our little boy mostly in hand-me-downs or secondhand clothes for at least the first few years. Yeah, he'll get a few new things here and there, but for his everyday play clothes most of his stuff will be secondhand. If he get explosive diarrhoea or destroys his pants playing in the mud or something, I'll feel a lot better about tossing an item I paid under 1$ for and has already had a good life, vs. an item that we paid a lot more money for new. 

Shelly99

I don't see anything wrong wtih hand me downs, I even love going to garage sales for used clothes..  It makes me feel better then they play outside in used clothing rather the their brand new stuff.. 

acbfreire

My DH also hates hand-me-downs. Maybe it is a guy thing hehehhehe

peachmuffins

SO and I are FTP and I have a similar situation with SO feeling weird about it. We have a lot of clothes already for our LO, it's about a 50/50 split between used and new things - all of which people we know have given us. The baby will be cute and happy in the used monkey outfit and the new monkey outfit... he will also have a blow-out in both, spit up on both, and outgrow both at the same time. SO won't give specifics on why he feels oddly about used cloths for LO when at the same time he doesn't care if I buy used closed from consignment boutiques.

 But I'm kind of a big fat hypocrite here because I was unwilling to get used gear for my house and registered for all new stuff... and I don't have a good reason for that either. :P I wanted a *new* pack'n'play and a *new* stroller system etc...

 I think once he sees how frequently LO's clothes are going to be changed and how quickly he outgrows them and soils them he will understand, and as long as he doesn't insist we go buy all new outfits I'll let him continue giving the used clothes the side-eye. 

*edit* Ok i just brought it up with him again and he said HIS new baby should be in new things. And I said "so i'm your used fiancee and it's ok for me to wear used things." and he said "there's a good chance the previous owner of your banana republic shirt didn't take a huge crap on it before they sold it consignment." So i guess it's a poop thing... case closed. LOL. 

chouli77

DH's reasoning is a combination of: new baby = new things, my son deserves new things, and not wanting other kids germs on our baby's things.

All our gear and furniture are new. So far his clothes have been new.

I shop at thrift stores and consignments for my clothes all the time. Its the thrill of the hunt. Finding name brands in great condition for $5 or less is like cocaine for me. I will keep taking hand-me-downs and buy LO clothes second-hand.

WhitMN24

Our planet is so full of stuff that MH and I can't see buying new. Babies wear things for the blink of an eye, so we are tremendously thankful for the hand-me-downs we've received. The amount of pressure to be consumers for a new baby is overwhelming and unnecessary.

FutureNichols

I bought no clothes for DS from 9months to 2T.  My neighbor son was two sizes ahead of Max.  We got so much!  It was awesome.  DH was the same way and I showed him how much money we were saving.  I say take the clothes you want and let him get the new things he wants.  Giving him the chance to have to do it himself may leave him thinking maybe not.  lol.

Gismo123

I'm on your side!  The base we're at has a great Thrift store on it and all their baby clothes items are 50 cents/item.  Some of the stuff I got was almost brand new!  Better to spend 50 cents on an item than the normal $8!

My DH doesn't mind that I buy used clothes at all...he just hates I keep coming home with too much clothes hehe 

dragossoul84

I dont mind second hand clothes for our baby when he gets older I will get all new but now as he will be growing things out every few months. There is a consignment store near us called Once Upon a Child. 10 onsies for 10 bucks and you can resale the stuff back as long as its good looking when your baby grows out of it. I wanted all of our gear new though

Sawyerplus1

WhitMN24:

Our planet is so full of stuff that MH and I can't see buying new. Babies wear things for the blink of an eye, so we are tremendously thankful for the hand-me-downs we've received. The amount of pressure to be consumers for a new baby is overwhelming and unnecessary.

I agree with this. The need to purchase and consume new things, even sometimes to the point of refusing perfectly good hand-me-downs b/c they're not 'new' is so insane. It just doesn't make sense to me! First of all, the BABY will NEVER know the difference. And babies go through clothes so fast, that it seems an absurd waste to not share them. I've lent out plenty of clothes from when both DS and DD were babies, and no joke often the outfits were worn so rarely that they may as well have been new (b/c they either grew too fast or we were given so much stuff). 

OP, I maybe wouldn't worry too much about how DH feels right now. I suspect, once LO is here and he realizes how fast they grow, how quickly they go through outfits, how gently worn they can be once you're done with them, etc, that he'll stop caring that LO only gets brand new stuff. I don't think it's an overly uncommon concern for FTPs, but I do think it's generally outgrown. 

notfrancie

Honestly, he's nuts.  Let him have the first month so he can see how fast your baby grows out of NB size and maybe he will change his mind?  In the mean time, put the bins out of sight and save them for when he comes to his senses.

pickle82

Your hubbs be a fool.  Free stuff is awesome.  He will come around sooner than later when he realizes how fast kids grow and how much things cost.  New bottles, binkies?  Sure.  Used clothes..... he should be uber grateful.

celestialnyte

One of my favorite things to do is go consignment shopping and I think 95% of LO's clothes right now are 2nd hand - either from friends/family or from consignment. MH doesn't mind because he knows how expensive clothes are - and we're on a budget. Every so often we'll be in the store and get something new -- but that's not very often at all.

LottaLattes

I think it is a more common FT conception that things like clothes need to be new.  I bought my babies' going home outfits new, and everything else has been given to me from friends (and only a few new outfits from my shower).  I don't see any reason to buy new, it isn't covered in other babies' germs, since I wash it all.  I got most of my gear used, though I wanted a new stroller (warranty) and a new second carseat (trusted friend gave me one).  A few other things here and there but I only bought anything new if it was cheaper than used for a sale or whatever.

JuneBugBaby2012

We have some friends that are divided. She loves to get a deal, and he can't stand the idea of getting used things from people he doesn't know. If it comes from friends, he's fine. It's the stranger factor that bugs him. I think that if you are going to buy used clothes you should have an eye for what's gently used and what's been worn out.

My kids wear great brands like Children's Place, Gap, Ralph Lauren, Gymbo, Chaps, etc., and I didn't pay more than a few dollars for each piece. Maybe not even a dollar in some cases. It's a small thrill for me to find the deals.

SugarhillHnA

Considering more than half of DD's clothes the first year got worn only  1-3 times each, i think your DH is an idiot.  Take the hand me downs and say thank you to whomever gave them to you.  It doesn't mean you can't buy anything new for LO, but maybe once all the expenses of having a baby become a reality for DH he'll change his tune and thank you for being cost cautious.

Asquared

wash them in hot water and call it good!!  Has he been shopping and seen how much new clothes are??  For such a short amount of time, it's a good way to go!!