And just like that, down came the tears.

FreyaWin2382

So I had been doing pretty good, feeling "okay". I had worked the last 6/7 days in the hospital and was enjoying a much needed day of freedom. 

And then I got the mail.

Instead were two identical little envelops containing invitations to a memorial "celebration" that our hospital does for families who have miscarried this year. And I got two. Two little envelops....one for each of our babies. The date of the service is one week to the day of what should have been my first EDD.

What was also buried among the mail was a small package, containing a bright pink baby bow....for my younger sister's baby shower...this Sunday.

And just like that, when I hadn't cried in weeks, down came the tears.....complete with red eyes, nose and drippy mascara. Even though I always try to reassure others that these ups and downs are normal, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of, it still SUCKS! I HATE that instead of preparing for the arrival of my own baby, I instead am left holding little envelops!!  

If any of you have any extra good vibes and e-hugs I could really use them....I was really hoping I would be able to be in a good frame of mind this weekend as I go to this baby shower.....and now it just looks like I am going to be a wreck. Again...still. 

Darn it. 

 

Spruce14

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry that happened. I hate the little reminders that throw us back into a sad place when we were just feeling better. I say we because it happens to all of us and it SUCKS!!! I hope you make it through the shower in one piece- and please treat yourself and do something special after it! 

jenn0021

I am so sorry. Sending you giant ((Hugs)). It is normal to have meltdowns but they still really suck. I'm sending good vibes to you that you can feel a little better and not be completley miserable at your sisters baby shower.

That is nice of your hospital to recognize m/c's. Even if it hurts to be the one invited.

twotexans

(((Big Hugs)))  I was holding my own until yesterday too.  My estrogen and progesterone supplements have kicked in, and the floodgates were opened. 

andreagb

(((HUGS)))..I've been to 2 baby showers since my loss...They aren't fun. I wish I had some words of encouragement.  I'm just so sorry any of us have to feel this way. 

lotus88

*badge warning*

 

I'm so sorry, Freya. I would have fallen apart too.((hugs)) The memorial invites woulld have been hard enough without the baby shower invite. ((big squishy hugs))

Cubskers

Sending big hugs your way!  I hope the baby shower isn't too harmful for your psyche.  Will be thinking about you.

 

jinxycat24

I'm so sorry. Yes the emotional roller coaster is totally normal but that doesn't make it any easier. I hate that you got those 2 little envelops too! It is just so unfair. I'll be thinking of you and sending you strength to get through the shower this weekend.

Sending you huge (((hugs))) 

panacea05

Oh, no. I can't believe those two pieces of mail arrived on the same day. What a horrible conicidence. I would have lost it, too. Sending you so many ((hugs)), and wishing you a happier tomorrow.

foxxy1

*HUGS* I know just how painful that is and I'm just so sorry you had to go through that.

Atleighdan

Sending many (((hugs))) and lots of good vibes for ya! I hope things swing the other way quickly!

MAtoNC

((hugs)). I'm so sorry. That must have felt like a knife to the heart.

Allycat11

((hugs)) The little reminders suck, especially when you are not prepared for them. 

On a side note, I love that your hospital recognizes miscarriages in a special way. Personally, I know it would hurt to go but it would be good for me at the same time.  

LaTi07

(Hugs) I'm so sorry hun. Those random reminders are harsh.

kpowers982

Oh sweetie, I'm so, so unbelievably sorry.  It sucks that we can go from just ducky to complete meltdown mode in 0.3 seconds.  I hate that we have all been dealt this sh**ty, sh**ty hand.  I will be thinking about you all weekend and hoping things go well for you at the shower.  Good luck, and hoping that things turn around for you soon and you have nothing but good days around the corner.

Mmm79

((HUGS))

 That must have been awful for you.  I can't even imagine. 

 

barbie92

I'm so sorry ((Hugs))

ChloBub

I'm crying tears for you and with you, sweet friend. I'm so sorry. It just hurts so much. I love you, and I hope you feel better soon. ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

buckeyebaby814

::HUGS::

What a kind thing for the hospital to do for families who have lost their babies, but absolutely a sad reminder, especially so close to your EDD.  Hope you do ok this weekend at your sister's shower. 

smcjmk09

No words... Just big, big {{hugs}}.

Smootiepie

Oh hon, that is just terrible!  *HUGE HUGS*  *GOOD VIBES* and anything else you need to make it through today.

sammer818

*HUGS*

mama2j

Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts hun. I'm so sorry.

shellyco

You deserve tons of good vibes for having to experience that all at once.  I'll throw in a big (HUG) too! 

jackiemary

I think the hardest thing in the world right now would be heading to a baby shower. With a lot of friends pregnant, I'm sure I will need to attend one soon. I will pray that you have comfort this weekend, are able to rejoice with sister, and able to experience the excitement of a new niece/nephew despite being sorrowful in heart missing your own little ones.

VikingQueen

((huge hugs))

I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm thinking about you and sending you som good vibes.. I hate what we have all been thru.

misteezagirl

((hugs)) I hate getting reminders in the mail too. It does suck, and it's ok to be upset about the shower and the invitations for the hospital. 

delino

Big huge (((HUGS))).  I'm so sorry you're hurting.  I wish none of has to feel this pain.

katharine25

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Huge Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Mom2anAngel2

(((HUGE HUGS)))

FreyaWin2382

Thank you so much everyone...I kind of went on "shut down" the rest of the day.....but I kept refreshing the bump page to read responses! I really, really appreciate all of the words and hugs. I hate that any of us have to be in this, but I am so humbled by all of you strong women who care so much!! Thank you!

CCline09

I am so so sorry. The tears can truly be unexpected at times and just so awful. ((HUGS)) to you.

minicheezburg

Oh sweetie I don't even know what to say to make you feel any better. I had been given a website a wile back to stop mail like that. I can try to find it. Hugs.

KacyChicago

Oh lady, I'm so very sorry ... I know that had to hurt like h***, and I am so sorry that you had to experience that. I am so thankful that your hospital is honoring your children, and I think that is amazing. But I know that going a baby shower is not right now, and it hurts me that any of us has to feel like that!

Thinking of you.

QuigleyCat1

I'm so sorry!  (((HUGS)))

peloquinJ

I'm so sorry. That sucks. ((hugs))

Deethebee

Oh sweetie...I hate when things catch you off guard like that. ((((hugs)))) I wish I could take the pain away for you...

pkaren

(hugs) You can only trick yourself into believing you're okay for awhile. And then something like this happens to rip off that scab. So sorry you're having a crap day. Let yourself get it out.

rebekam

Freya,

Sending you the biggest hugs today!

littleusfamily

((hugs)) the unexpected the meltdowns are the absolute worst!