FFFC

starchai920

I'll start.

I find it completely inexcusable that there are some women/girls who treat their children like accessories. Their children not a life-long joy or reason for being, they're like a handbag, something cute to have around. I know several women that act this way IRL, and it tears me up that their kids are so under-appreciated.

biomaj5

I don't know if this is flameworthy or not, but I don't believe amarissa's story. I think it's a made up sob story, like the people who post on here that their child is dying and it's just a scam. It took her 1 month to conceive the first one but she researched IF treatments? IMO, it seemed like she just piled more and more on to the story after that. Also, none of the sad stuff was mentioned in the OP.

If she truly went through all of that, then that's horrible. If she made it up? Even worse. 

ETA: I am not saying that m/c is nothing to be upset about. Please don't misunderstand me. I just don't think she's telling the truth about it. M/C's are horrible and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, and I am very grateful that I've never had to experience one. 

bugandbibs

biomaj5:

I don't know if this is flameworthy or not, but I don't believe amarissa's story. I think it's a made up sob story, like the people who post on here that their child is dying and it's just a scam. It took her 1 month to conceive the first one but she researched IF treatments? IMO, it seemed like she just piled more and more on to the story after that. Also, none of the sad stuff was mentioned in the OP.

If she truly went through all of that, then that's horrible. If she made it up? Even worse. 

ETA: I am not saying that m/c is nothing to be upset about. Please don't misunderstand me. I just don't think she's telling the truth about it. M/C's are horrible and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, and I am very grateful that I've never had to experience one. 

This was my first thought today too.  I hate to be cynical, but... 

biomaj5

bugandbibs:

biomaj5:

I don't know if this is flameworthy or not, but I don't believe amarissa's story. I think it's a made up sob story, like the people who post on here that their child is dying and it's just a scam. It took her 1 month to conceive the first one but she researched IF treatments? IMO, it seemed like she just piled more and more on to the story after that. Also, none of the sad stuff was mentioned in the OP.

If she truly went through all of that, then that's horrible. If she made it up? Even worse. 

ETA: I am not saying that m/c is nothing to be upset about. Please don't misunderstand me. I just don't think she's telling the truth about it. M/C's are horrible and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, and I am very grateful that I've never had to experience one. 

This was my first thought today too.  I hate to be cynical, but... 

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm not in any way minimizing the pain of m/c (I want to make that incredibly clear), but her story just didn't ring true. I'm not normally the one to pick up on stuff like that either. 

gogadgetgo

biomaj5:

bugandbibs:

biomaj5:

I don't know if this is flameworthy or not, but I don't believe amarissa's story. I think it's a made up sob story, like the people who post on here that their child is dying and it's just a scam. It took her 1 month to conceive the first one but she researched IF treatments? IMO, it seemed like she just piled more and more on to the story after that. Also, none of the sad stuff was mentioned in the OP.

If she truly went through all of that, then that's horrible. If she made it up? Even worse. 

ETA: I am not saying that m/c is nothing to be upset about. Please don't misunderstand me. I just don't think she's telling the truth about it. M/C's are horrible and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, and I am very grateful that I've never had to experience one. 

This was my first thought today too.  I hate to be cynical, but... 

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm not in any way minimizing the pain of m/c (I want to make that incredibly clear), but her story just didn't ring true. I'm not normally the one to pick up on stuff like that either. 

I'm in the cynical camp too. Between the multiple m/c and the cancer, it seems like way too much. I'm very sorry if I'm wrong but the way it was presented seems off.  

amarissa85

I had to comment on this cuz I know of one that treats hers like *** dollar sign!!! She doesnt get up and feed them on her days off....she would rather lay in bed with her new husband and sleep half the day...ppl like that i feel don't deserve to be parents!!! she wont let their father keep them because she doesnt want to lose her child support money...or better yet she "cant afford" to pay any either...stupid c u next time...=***!!! i despise her...the bad part? her oldest doesnt want to live there at all...>_<

amarissa85

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

bugandbibs

amarissa85:

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

Ah! So quick to GBCB! 

cowgirltu

bugandbibs:

amarissa85:

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

Ah! So quick to GBCB! 

GBCB? What does that mean? 

kelle017

bugandbibs:

amarissa85:

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

Ah! So quick to GBCB! 

I missed the post from yesterday, but I saw this morning's, and it made even me suspicious. She dd'ed it though. 

biomaj5

cowgirltu:

bugandbibs:

amarissa85:

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

Ah! So quick to GBCB! 

GBCB? What does that mean? 

Good bye cruel bump 

bugandbibs

biomaj5:

cowgirltu:

bugandbibs:

amarissa85:

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

Ah! So quick to GBCB! 

GBCB? What does that mean? 

Good bye cruel bump 

I always read it as "good bye crazy b******"

I guess both work equally well. 

biomaj5

amarissa85:

You know, I hadn't read any of the other posts, until just now, I think I will no longer be a part of this board, I am in tears now that people could be so very cruel. I even did the bigger thing and apologized. Man people suck, a lot.

If your story is true, then I apologize. But I'm not the only one who found it suspicious.

 

(someone please quote me so she can see it, thanks) 

amarissa85

i can see ur post no one needs to quote, and as i am typing this i am trying to upload sonogram pics so that you guys will know i didnt make any of this up, it is really really heart wrenching. i dont know how else to explain it nor do i think its even worth it to defend myself. however, the baby part i guess i just had some rough patches, but the cancer? runs in my family, both my mother and father had it (mother had ovarian w/ total hysterectomy and dad was diagnosed dec 2011 with prostate had surgery in jan 2012 is doing good right now) and if i could post the pic directly on here then i would but i cant its not letting me.

ashdonne

This confessions are not really that flameful ladies lol----or maybe I think that just because I agree with them so far!  So here's mine...

Since DD was born I've been kinda feeling less excited about sex with DH.  And he had said a couple things about it so I kno he noticed too.  Not like I wouldn't do anything but just not as excited about it I guess? However, now that we are TTC again I'm all over it and my attitude has totally changed!  I was on nuva ring before so I'd like to just blame that but I think I'm just more excited about baby prospects than actual sex!

starchai920

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

amarissa85

so for all the critics out there that found it so hard to believe, i have pics of two of my sonograms, one is the twins and the single is prior. i posted them to my profile.

biomaj5

ashdonne:

This confessions are not really that flameful ladies lol----or maybe I think that just because I agree with them so far!  So here's mine...

Since DD was born I've been kinda feeling less excited about sex with DH.  And he had said a couple things about it so I kno he noticed too.  Not like I wouldn't do anything but just not as excited about it I guess? However, now that we are TTC again I'm all over it and my attitude has totally changed!  I was on nuva ring before so I'd like to just blame that but I think I'm just more excited about baby prospects than actual sex!

I try not to let on to DH when I'm Oing so that he won't be under more pressure. However, that happens to be the only time I make the effort for coitus. We'd probably be a coitus-less couple if it wasn't necessary for a baby.

biomaj5

amarissa85:

i can see ur post no one needs to quote, and as i am typing this i am trying to upload sonogram pics so that you guys will know i didnt make any of this up, it is really really heart wrenching. i dont know how else to explain it nor do i think its even worth it to defend myself. however, the baby part i guess i just had some rough patches, but the cancer? runs in my family, both my mother and father had it (mother had ovarian w/ total hysterectomy and dad was diagnosed dec 2011 with prostate had surgery in jan 2012 is doing good right now) and if i could post the pic directly on here then i would but i cant its not letting me.

You said you blocked me, so I assumed you couldn't see them. 

amarissa85

I did block u, however i thought about it and thought perhaps it would be better if i explained and perhaps there would be better understanding, but boy was i ever wrong.

starchai920

MandJS:

starchai920:

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

I don't like ANY of them. I do, however, like Gordon Ramsey (Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, Master Chef). And also Tom Collichio.  

Do you watch Chodpped? I do almost religiously, especially now that those piddling-ass judges are contestants and are getting judged.

gogadgetgo

starchai920:

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

DH worked with Ina once and said she was BSC. And after the whole make a wish fiasco last year I refuse to watch her show.

Giada's recipes are more my style. Paula Deen makes me laugh with how gross some of her recipes are.  

starchai920

gogadgetgo:

starchai920:

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

DH worked with Ina once and said she was BSC. And after the whole make a wish fiasco last year I refuse to watch her show.

Giada's recipes are more my style. Paula Deen makes me laugh with how gross some of her recipes are.  

My sister told me about the Make A Wish thing, that just drove home her Martha's Vineyard muckity-muck additude. 

I can't remember who the woman was, but a comedian from SNL went on one of Paula Dean's shows and dressed up as her and made her own recipe, a stick of butter deep-fried and rolled in chocolate. It was super funny.

PinkParisKitty

amarissa85:

i can see ur post no one needs to quote, and as i am typing this i am trying to upload sonogram pics so that you guys will know i didnt make any of this up, it is really really heart wrenching. i dont know how else to explain it nor do i think its even worth it to defend myself. however, the baby part i guess i just had some rough patches, but the cancer? runs in my family, both my mother and father had it (mother had ovarian w/ total hysterectomy and dad was diagnosed dec 2011 with prostate had surgery in jan 2012 is doing good right now) and if i could post the pic directly on here then i would but i cant its not letting me.

Lurker here:

Please do some editing to your photos because any weirdo (and most would agree that I qualify as such a weirdo lurker) can see your full name! You can edit in paint or something like that. 

These boards are NOT private and you NEVER know who is viewing  your photos and stuff. People here will believe what they want to believe about you. I'm sorry that you got off to the wrong foot, but I think you might want to calm down before you put more personal information out there about yourself. 

Take a breather. 

amarissa85

PinkParisKitty:

amarissa85:

i can see ur post no one needs to quote, and as i am typing this i am trying to upload sonogram pics so that you guys will know i didnt make any of this up, it is really really heart wrenching. i dont know how else to explain it nor do i think its even worth it to defend myself. however, the baby part i guess i just had some rough patches, but the cancer? runs in my family, both my mother and father had it (mother had ovarian w/ total hysterectomy and dad was diagnosed dec 2011 with prostate had surgery in jan 2012 is doing good right now) and if i could post the pic directly on here then i would but i cant its not letting me.

Lurker here:

Please do some editing to your photos because any weirdo (and most would agree that I qualify as such a weirdo lurker) can see your full name! You can edit in paint or something like that. 

These boards are NOT private and you NEVER know who is viewing  your photos and stuff. People here will believe what they want to believe about you. I'm sorry that you got off to the wrong foot, but I think you might want to calm down before you put more personal information out there about yourself. 

Take a breather. 

 

I will edit, thank you...im not upset, but it did make me cry. It was really mean.  

Sherbet Lemon

starchai920:

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

Giada irks me, because she doesn't have an accent at all until she says certain words (parmigiano reggiano for example) and then it's full blown accent all of the sudden.   Plus (and this is just total jealousy) how can she be that darn skinny but cook Italian food all the time. 

amarissa85

MandJS:

amarissa85:

 

I will edit, thank you...im not upset, but it did make me cry. It was really mean.  

No one was trying to be mean. They were just stating that a lot of the circumstances surrounding your posts are suspicious and remind them (and, admittedly, me too) of trolls and AEs that have been around these parts before. If your story is true, I have nothing but sympathy and hope for you and your future. But that doesn't mean the way you posted, went on the defensive, and THEN added in a bunch of sob story details was not a bit troll like.

At the end of the day, it's the internet and we're a bunch of strangers. If things people here say make you cry, then you are investing too much into our comments and it may be best for your own sanity to try a different board. The ladies on the bump generally are smart, educated, witty, and yes, snarky. Not everyone can handle some snark and the occasional flaming (because at some point, EVERYONE gets flamed around here). There are other baby boards that are more puppies and rainbows. The bump is not one of them.

 

i dont know what trolling is but it is relatively obvious from the pics that i did post that there is validity to what i posted, im sure im not randomly holding some strangers sonograms, the comment made me cry because it is a sensitive topic, and like any who have lost it is not something you particularly want someone to be poking at...im by no means a troll, whatever that is supposed to mean...and its neither here nor there, it would have been nice if it wasnt posted for a public debate is all i am saying

jenna3016

starchai920:

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

 

This is all I know about Ina Garten:

https://cancer.about.com/b/2011/03/26/ina-garten-says-no-to-make-a-wish-kid.htm

amarissa85

MandJS:

amarissa85:

i dont know what trolling is but it is relatively obvious from the pics that i did post that there is validity to what i posted, im sure im not randomly holding some strangers sonograms, the comment made me cry because it is a sensitive topic, and like any who have lost it is not something you particularly want someone to be poking at...im by no means a troll, whatever that is supposed to mean...and its neither here nor there, it would have been nice if it wasnt posted for a public debate is all i am saying

Troll (as defined by wikipedia): In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory,^[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response^[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. (link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet))

Meanwhile. Not to discount your photos. But in my tenure on TB, I have seen multiple posters not only post "real" pictures that later turn out to be fake, but make up whole stories about their lives, that are later revealed as being completely false. Don't believe everything you read or see on the internet. 

You posted on a public forum. That basically gives free reign to the other posters to comment on or about it as they see fit. Again. I am truly sorry if your story is true. I am just trying to explain why there are doubts. 

 i get all that, just not true, shy of me posting the pic with a date and time written next to it as i hold it up to my face (which would be totally ridiculous) again there is no reason for me to make up a story, i need no ones sympathy which is why i didn't post it in the first place...i am a single parent, i am in the army and work 12 hours a day on top of being in school full time, i mean there are better things for me to do with my time besides troll. i dont doubt they are out there, it just simply is not me. i know everyone is going to believe what they want.

starchai920

Sherbet Lemon:

starchai920:

Ok, here's an outrageous one:

I hate Ina Garten. The chef from Food Network's Barefoot Contessa? I watch her show, but her additude is so pompous and off-putting, like she's doing me a favor teaching me a way of making food. I prefer Paula Dean or Giada de Laurentiis, they seem much more nice.

Giada irks me, because she doesn't have an accent at all until she says certain words (parmigiano reggiano for example) and then it's full blown accent all of the sudden.   Plus (and this is just total jealousy) how can she be that darn skinny but cook Italian food all the time. 

The way she says 'prosciutto' makes me stabby. And agreed, someone that skinny shouldn't know how to cook the way she does. But her little girl is too stinking adorable.

amarissa85

MandJS:

amarissa85:

 i get all that, just not true, shy of me posting the pic with a date and time written next to it as i hold it up to my face (which would be totally ridiculous) again there is no reason for me to make up a story, i need no ones sympathy which is why i didn't post it in the first place...i am a single parent, i am in the army and work 12 hours a day on top of being in school full time, i mean there are better things for me to do with my time besides troll. i dont doubt they are out there, it just simply is not me. i know everyone is going to believe what they want.

Wait... what? I thought you had a SO who you were trying to conceive with. How does that make you a single parent? (And before you answer, be aware that the REAL single parents do not appreciate when folks who have one spouse travel a lot or away a lot, even for military reasons, call themselves single parents. You still get a dual income, support from another parent, a father figure your children know about and can write or talk to, etc.)

I am engaged, to an active duty soldier we are getting married in july, he is stationed in al... and i am in ks...we do not make dual income its just me, the childrens father, whom i was married to once upon a time lives in fl where i am from. but is not really engaged in their life, if you look at my siggy it says july 10 we r getting married and i posted in a previous thread about our pending marriage. we will be trying to conceive starting then hence me starting charting ect ect.... 

amarissa85

Ur right he gets an income, but that is his money, like we dont have shared bank accounts ect and he lives 17 hours away, not really getting that whole concept. single parent to me means you are the the only adult in the house hold you pay the bills take care of the children go to basketball practice ect. now if we lived together and he helped me pay my bills that would be diff but we dont, rent lights water cable car food daycare all of that is me...no one else...

amarissa85

MandJS:

amarissa85:

Ur right he gets an income, but that is his money, like we dont have shared bank accounts ect and he lives 17 hours away, not really getting that whole concept. single parent to me means you are the the only adult in the house hold you pay the bills take care of the children go to basketball practice ect. now if we lived together and he helped me pay my bills that would be diff but we dont, rent lights water cable car food daycare all of that is me...no one else...

And I'm just letting you know that there are ACTUAL single parents on this board and that they have a different idea of what being a single parent means than you do. You already got flamed and caught up in drama once. I'm trying to be helpful so you don't end up with more, but if you insist, I'll happily sit back and watch the show. 

Like im really not trying to be a prick here, but i dont see what you are saying? because i have a SO that automatically means that i am no longer a single parent? no one lives in my household but me and my kids, and my 1 year old siberian husky...i pay all of my expenses and i have no help with that...we live half way across the country from one another he lives in the south east i live in the midwest i guess im just trying to c what you mean by i am not a single parent....kids r sick im up with them in the middle of the night, birthdays i pay for it...christmas i pay for it...going to the park every afternoon because they want to play...i do that...no one is there to share that responsibility... 

amarissa85

A single parent usually refers to a parent who has most of the day to day responsibilities in the raising of the child or children, which would categorize them as the dominant caregiver who is not living with a spouse or partner, or those who are not married. The dominant caregiver is the parent in which the children have residency with the majority of the time;^[1] if the parents are separated or divorced children live with their custodial parent and have visitation with their noncustodial parent.^[2] In western society in general, following separation, a child will end up with the primary caregiver, usually the mother, and a secondary caregiver, usually the father.^[3]

ashdonne

amarissa85:

A single parent usually refers to a parent who has most of the day to day responsibilities in the raising of the child or children, which would categorize them as the dominant caregiver who is not living with a spouse or partner, or those who are not married. The dominant caregiver is the parent in which the children have residency with the majority of the time;^[1] if the parents are separated or divorced children live with their custodial parent and have visitation with their noncustodial parent.^[2] In western society in general, following separation, a child will end up with the primary caregiver, usually the mother, and a secondary caregiver, usually the father.^[3]

Ok so I've stayed out of the drama but seriously this is getting ridiculous.  US pictures posted for "proof", dictionary definitions posted...either you decide to hang out on the board and just deal with it---there is no need to justify yourself at every turn.  Its ok to agree to disagree.  Again---internet strangers---who cares what we think.  Or you decide that you don't like the snarkiness and move on like you said you were about 5 hours ago.  Either way--nothing is going to help your case if you keep arguing every little point.  Take care.

amarissa85

nothing wrong with me stating my opinion...if i get "flamed" for calling myself a single parent then so be it...yes we will agree to disagree bc i know i am a single parent...i appreciate you snarkiness lol noted to self.

ooglie26

amarissa85:

Ur right he gets an income, but that is his money, like we dont have shared bank accounts ect and he lives 17 hours away, not really getting that whole concept. single parent to me means you are the the only adult in the house hold you pay the bills take care of the children go to basketball practice ect. now if we lived together and he helped me pay my bills that would be diff but we dont, rent lights water cable car food daycare all of that is me...no one else...

 

:Lurker butting in:

If your S/O is active duty, I'm assuming he would need permission to leave post and travel a great distance from where he is stationed?  And if you are a single parent (as in, you don't have a joint account with your S/O), I'm assuming money is tight and you can't afford to just hop on a plane and fly to him, when your chart indicates you're getting ready to O?  Also, IMO you are NOT a single parent.  Yes, distance separates you from your S/), but if you needed emotional support or monetary support, you could turn to him.  Single parents don't have that option (as the daughter of a single parent-my mom is a rock star).

Things just don't add up to me either.  If you have experienced loss, I'm terribly sorry, and I wish you nothing but the best for your future.  It just seems these details keep coming out, in an effort to justify your defensiveness.  I've been lurking here for nearly 6 months, and generally, these ladies are extremely intelligent, supportive, and witty.  They come from a variety of backgrounds and beliefs, so please don't discredit their intentions.  They really are an amazing group of ladies, even though I've never met them IRL.

:Lurker butting out:

 

amarissa85

you are correct it will not be easy, july will be the first time we are able to try, then our next four day is sept, and then nov, and then christmas. i will be O or so my chart says around our wedding so fingers crossed. four days we meet half way so that we can see each other, subsequently after we get married we are hoping they put me on orders to AL. which is what they try to do or at least keep spouses withing 50 miles when both are active duty.then of course hopefully itll be much easier!! (:

pinkflipflops44

this was stupid