Foster moms come in!

MayDayGirl

I am wondering how you handle the "is this your baby too?!" from strangers. People keep saying they can't believe I just had a baby, when I say I didn't give birth they say "oh she is adopted?" which isnt true either of course. How do I beat handle it? Just take the compliment of being slender after birth? Even though that is not true either?

lilmufish

You are not allowed to share with someone that they are a foster child...So, being white, and having AA foster children, I've had some interesting conversations dodging telling them.  I just say that I am helping out watching them.

Although, with the important people in my life, who know me, just "KNOW" that it's a new foster kiddo, so that conversation never comes up. They ask the child their first name and then it's like they're one of the family, one of the group, etc. 

lady_chance_99

I have no advice but I am really glad you posted this so that I can steal these tips too! LOL Thanks and GL

715inNC

We're of the same race, so most people just assume FD is ours. But, early on people would say "wow, you look so good to have just had her" and I eventually just started to think "well, I'm not ever going to look this good if I do give birth...so I'll just accept the compliment!" 

We were never told we couldn't say we were fostering.

If the child is older, I think you have to be very careful in approaching these comments from strangers with care and tact, so as to not hurt their feelings or make them feel like less a part of your family. I think some of the "we're just taking care of him/her" comments could affect a child that can understand the concept.

For a baby, just have fun with it, especially if it's a passing stranger!