how do you get your toddler to sleep through the night?

megann831

any tips?  DD is getting worse and worse at sleeping.  She used to get up around 2 and I'd go in her bed or she'd come in mine till we got up around 5:30.  Now she's up before 12, we get in bed together and she's up several more times, usually very cranky, then wants to get up by 5.  I've tried CIO, but it went on for 2 hours 3 nights in a row before we ended up in bed together anyway.  I also have an OK to Wake clock, but she doesn't get it.

Shayna0182

It could be the age.  Ds went through a phase right after he turned two,  where he wanted to be rocked every single night.  After a few months, he went back to just going straight bed, but we were baffled by it.   In the last year, he's gone through periods where he doesn't sleep through the night. 

One thing that makes it easier is, we don't talk to him, or let him eat or play.  Basicially it's so boring that there's no advantage to being up.  

Smores730

She's learned not to sleep through the night because you've taught her that whenever she stirs, you should be involved.

First tip: do NOT let her in your bed and do NOT get in hers. You're most likely going to have to do a Ferber type of thing with her. Go in when she wakes, reassure that she's fine, then leave. Rinse and repeat until she relearns that you are not an option in the middle of the night. There will be crying. A lot of it. Take from the experience that temporary solutions only lead to long term bigger problems.

Married2003

Smores730:

She's learned not to sleep through the night because you've taught her that whenever she stirs, you should be involved.

First tip: do NOT let her in your bed and do NOT get in hers. You're most likely going to have to do a Ferber type of thing with her. Go in when she wakes, reassure that she's fine, then leave. Rinse and repeat until she relearns that you are not an option in the middle of the night. There will be crying. A lot of it. Take from the experience that temporary solutions only lead to long term bigger problems.

I agree with this! 

EastCoastBride

Smores730:

She's learned not to sleep through the night because you've taught her that whenever she stirs, you should be involved.

First tip: do NOT let her in your bed and do NOT get in hers. You're most likely going to have to do a Ferber type of thing with her. Go in when she wakes, reassure that she's fine, then leave. Rinse and repeat until she relearns that you are not an option in the middle of the night. There will be crying. A lot of it. Take from the experience that temporary solutions only lead to long term bigger problems.

Yeah, this.  And it's going to suck- she's already learned that if she cries for 3 nights in a row, she'll get to go back in your bed. 

amy5162

We never go in a lay with him or let him come lay with us.  We lock him in his room until 7, which is typically just before he wakes up for the day.  If he does wake up early, he has a light he can turn on and play with his toys in his room until his door is unlocked.

Shayna0182

amy5162:

We never go in a lay with him or let him come lay with us.  We lock him in his room until 7, which is typically just before he wakes up for the day.  If he does wake up early, he has a light he can turn on and play with his toys in his room until his door is unlocked.

You lock him in his room?  I considered doing this at one point, but the thought of a fire or of him being sick and not being able to come to us scared me out it.   He's pretty good at knocking on our door, so he doesn't usually just barge in. 

kms34

Ditto PP, you need to keep her out of your bed and don't indulge her in the middle of the night. 

DS was waking up a lot the past few weeks and we were at our wits end.  I made him a sticker chart with what is expected of him each night....brush teeth, go potty, put on pj's and stay in bed.  He's done great.  I also ordered an Ok to Wake clock that should be here today. 

I realize my son is older than your DD but start with a solid routine now and get her back in her own bed.  Remember, TONS of praise when she does. 

kms34

Another thing we do is keep a baby gate in his doorway.  It keeps him from roaming the house but he can still open the door if he needs us in the morning.  We can see into his room from ours.

nic326

DS gets a 5 min warning before we go up to get ready for bed at around 7:30. Then its straight upstairs for jammies, toothbrushing and 2 stories. We keep it short and sweet. He will usually stay up and play with a couple cars or look at books for an hour and then he passes out. No negotiating, or as little as possible...Ive got a future car salesman for a kid I swear. Anyway, I think a big red flag for you is the fact that you go in to sleep in her bed and vice versa. We also have an ok to wake clock and it took a few nites for him to get it but we explain what it is and what to do when its green,etc. every night. He gets it now and it works really well. In your case the bedsharing seems to be the issue. She knows one way or the other she will sleep with you so she has no motivation or reason to sleep on her own. And her poor sleep habits are not condusive to getting in a sleep routine with the clock...theres too much going on to try to get her trained on that. Stop the bedsharing first. It will be tough but she has to learn to sleep on her own.

nic326

Shayna0182:

amy5162:

We never go in a lay with him or let him come lay with us.  We lock him in his room until 7, which is typically just before he wakes up for the day.  If he does wake up early, he has a light he can turn on and play with his toys in his room until his door is unlocked.

You lock him in his room?  I considered doing this at one point, but the thought of a fire or of him being sick and not being able to come to us scared me out it.   He's pretty good at knocking on our door, so he doesn't usually just barge in. 

DS has a knob cover on the inside of his door. If he didnt he would never stay in. I have a monitor in there so I can hear him if he needs us. He actually knocks on his in the morning to come out