no CIO sleep training — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

no CIO sleep training

I hope you ladies can offer some advice or give me a great book recommendation.

I usually nurse my LO (6 months old) to sleep for both naps and bed time. She is usually a breeze to put down for bed at night. We have a set routine - bath, books, nurse to sleep.

Nap time is another story.... I cannot put her to bed drowsy, but awake. If she wakes up during the transition from my arms to the bed, she clings to me and screams. When this happens, I will try to get her to fall back asleep, but usually, if she wakes up like that, she may fall back asleep in my arms, but she has a tight grip on me and those eyes pop open the moment I even think about putting her into her bed. So she has been missing a lot of naps which is not good for her and makes things difficult especially when she is being babysat. 

Everyone that is willing to babysit her want to do CIO. I want to sleep train her so she will go down easily for me and babysitters, but I do not want her to CIO.

 She is not rolling over in her bed yet so we are still using the swaddle for naptime. If I can get it on her without her getting too worked up, then the swaddle does help her stay asleep. I have a feeling though that she is going to start rolling over and I will loose the swaddleing which will make this even harder.  

TIA for any help!  

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: no CIO sleep training

  • no advice here, but my LO would not go down drowsy but awake, ever. I think some kids do, but some never do. We tried but failed, just like you - she would pop those eyes open and then be wide awake. 

    We just got LO to go to sleep by herself without nursing a few months ago - and she will lay in her crib awake for at least 45 minutes before falling asleep. She is 22 months.

    Dh was able to put her to sleep for a nap by riding her in the car (but could never take her out of the car once she was asleep) or taking her for a walk.

    I was shocked when our nanny could nurse her kid to sleep, then take him to the futon and lay him down and have him keep sleeping. She could also put him in the carseat while he was sleeping and drive home! 

    My point is all kids are different.

    I did read the ferber book and got a lot of good info from him - he does talk about CIO, but the whole book is not about CIO and you can just ignore that part. It talks about sleep associations and cycles. That being said, I could not imagine my kid being able to give up her sleep associations before a year. He says they can at 6 months. 

    Other books are the No Cry Sleep Solution and Sleepless in America (much more general info about sleep, but still some good tips)

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

  • Have you tried the idea of, "Move yourself not the baby"? Can you nurse her to sleep laying down?  With DS, I would swaddle him in the crib-side car, lay next to him, and then nurse him to sleep. Once he'd been out for 15 minutes, I would inch away one muscle fiber at a time, taking a pause between each movemet to let baby readjust if needed. I also would leave behind something that smelled like me (PJs, a wrap, etc.). That stage was intense, but it didn't last forever. Now, DH or I still lay with DS to get him down (sometimes nursing, but mostly not) but as soon as he is asleep and floppy, I can get up and go about my business.

    In terms of people who want to babysit, once you've gotten this to work they may be willing to cuddle baby to sleep (my stepmom is in this camp). If they are not comfortable with this (or you are not), then you can either wait it out, find someone else, or if it is a person you trust to not CIO let them figure out their own way. My dad takes DS for 5-6 mile walks in a stroller that he bought just for this purpose. My dad loves the exercise  and baby naps. It is their special thing. My FIL is like a nap whisperer and get DS to sleep without really anything special! Or baby can just postpone sleep until you get home and the babysitter has to accept that might mean a fussy baby. Or, if the sitter is willing  to babywear that can be another way to get baby asleep. How baby relates to you regarding sleep may not be the case for someone else. But, if you don't trust the person to respect your wishes then, stick with your gut!

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  • We had a similar issue with DD when she was about that age (maybe a bit older) and we tried using the Baby Whisperer technique of "shh/pat" where baby stayed in the crib and you were there the whole time, rhymically saying "shh" and patting/rubbing her back, but you didn't pick her up unless she was inconsolable.  It worked well for us and was something we were comfortable with (since we didn't want to do CIO).
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