it's been 4 days...

mamamiles

and i still haven't really cried. i've accepted that i no longer have a little one growing. i passed my LO yesterday and still don't really feel like anything is different. i didn't really have any symptoms for the duration of my pregnancy, i had the most horrid cramping/contractions on sunday afternoon. and i feel like the most horrible person for not feeling anything. how can i already "be over it" when it's just done and i'm still dealing with the effects? there's no way that i'm still in shock right? i mean, i don't even feel any emotion reading all the woohoo stories, seeing progress pictures, reading about the losses, or anything... no sadness, no happiness, nothing. and i know how heartbreaking it is to go through this. it was devastating when we got our confirmation, i cried the entire way home from the u/s. i was pissed off that it was happening. after 2 years of TTC we FINALLY got that BFP, and here we are supposed to be getting ready for 2nd tri and instead it's a loss... we just kept hoping that the docs were wrong and it would all be ok... of course we were wrong, it wasn't all ok. and still i'm not as upset as it seems i should be... WTF? i think i've become a robot. 

krisztina33

Everyone's cycle of grief is different.  For a lot of people, numbness is the beginning--sometimes you are too raw to be able to feel anything.  Don't feel bad about not grieving in "the right way".  There is no right way.  There is no wrong way.  Grief comes in waves and cycles.  Just let yourself feel it as it comes.  Some days I wake up thinking "I'm over it" only to have the feelings come crashing back down.  It's definitely not a linear process.

Sorry for your loss and sorry you are here

<<hugs>>

mamamiles

thank you... i was beginning to think that there's something wrong with me. it's good to know that i'm not the only one feeling or not feeling like this.  i'm so sorry that you're here too...  *big hugs*