Community› The Bump Message Boards› TTC After a Loss
TTC After a Loss
New Discussion

Awkward Convo at Work - vent

kpowers982kpowers982 member
in TTC After a Loss

I feel kinda bad, posting this "woe is me" vent post, when I haven't been around all week to give support to those that are having their own difficulties...but I just need to get this off my chest, even if no one responds!

I was just talking with a coworker I am good friends with.  She's middle-aged, and knows extensively everything that's happened to me this year.  But for some reason she picked today to come over and announce, in great detail, that her daughter in law found out the gender of their baby, and how she announced to the family, and how they were planning on decorating the nursery.  I wanted so badly to excuse myself, but I know it would have looked bad and I didn't want her/anyone else to know I was upset.  Well she obviously sensed I was uncomfortable, because she said, "wow, this must be hard for you. I feel bad now.  So when are you going to try again?"

ETA:  And she kept GOING!  Next she was like, "wow, your boss R is so big!  When's she due, how's she doing?"  Um....why don't you effing ask HER, instead of her employee that had a miscarriage 8 weeks ago.

Now my heart just hurts, and I have to figure out a way to be productive here at work for another six and a half hours. 

People...

Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Report Reply to Post

Re: Awkward Convo at Work - vent

  • panacea05panacea05 member
    Ugh. Her weird "apology" was even worse than her momentarily forgetting about your heartache and blabbing about her grandbaby. WTF? I'm so sorry. 
    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • kiki4kiki4 member
    Definitely a WTF moment. I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) I would be more than happy to slap her upside the head for you.
    BFP 1/19/12 No heartbeat at 7w4d 3rd dose Cytotec 3/1/12
    *PGAL/PAL Welcome*
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic 
     
    My Ovulation Chart
    Report Reply
  • raashtonraashton member

    I am so sorry!

    See, I just wonder if I hadn't been able to stop myself and say something like, "Yeah it is hard.  It gets harder every day when someone wants me to bask in the happiness of someone I have no ties to, to rub it in my face that my body failed me. " (Her look of shock) "Oh, is this hard for you? Good, B!tch."  But I am kinda mean...

    Hugs and love sweetie!  You deserve better support from your friends and coworkers.

    Report Reply
  • Spruce14Spruce14 member

    I don't understand why people can't filter their words! I'm so sorry that this ruined your day ;( Her apology was even worse than what she said...ugh! 

    My MIL and SIL will not stop talking about my SILs baby who is due in 2 weeks. I want to f*ing scream every time i'm with them. I don't understand why they or anyone thinks it's OK to talk about that stuff when they know we're suffering!   

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • zapgurl44zapgurl44 member
    I'm sorry, gosh some people are just inconsiderate/stupid.
    align="center">

    BFP #1 9/6/2009 EDD 5/29/10. Missy Moo born 5/12/10 after 3 months of bedrest due to PTL, IC and a bicornuate ute causing IUGR
    BFP # 2 1/28/12 EDD 10/6/12 No heartbeat seen @ 10 weeks, Autumn
    BFP #3 8/18/12 EDD 5/2/13 No heartbeat seen at 7w3d, Mae
    BFP #4 01/31/2013 EDD 10/15/2013 No HB seen in our little girl at 10w2d due to trisomy 12, Abigail
    BFP #5 6/27/2013 EDD 3/10/2014 diagnosed with protein S deficiency heparin twice a day. Luke's HB stopped at 8wks
    BFP#6 12/22/2013 EDD 9/4/2014 No HB seen at 7w2d, Leia

    BFP #7- 5/12/14 EDD 01/2015, ruptured ectopic 5/31/14

    Report Reply
  • juttek30juttek30 member
    I'm so sorry you had to deal with that today. She needs a throat punch!
    TTC since August 2011
    BFP #1 - 1/16/2012, EDD 9/12/2012, m/c 1/27/2012, D&C 2/3/12
    BFP #2 - 6/20/2012, Saw HB on 7/6/2012 at 6w0d ~ EDD 3/1/2013 BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ct103ct103 member
    She probably kept going because she was uncomfortable (as she should be) and thought she was gonna "make it all better" by putting the spotlight on you. Obviously she doesn't have a clue what loss is like. I'm so sorry about these ingnorant people. Sometimes it feels like they're everywhere!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Mom2anAngel2Mom2anAngel2 member

    That is aweful.  I hate when people go on and on about their pg friend/daughter/grandaughter or even go on and on about the babies in their lives.  Why do they think that I would ever want to hear about it when I can not even look at a baby or a pg women without feeling like someone puched me in the gut. 

    I am so sorry you had to pretend to be okay with that conversation.  Some people are so inconsiderate to our feelings.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

    Report Reply
  • AngnShaunAngnShaun
    why even apologize if she was going to continue the same behavior... {{HUGS}}
    Report Reply
  • s.alaries.alarie member
    imageraashton:

    I am so sorry!

    See, I just wonder if I hadn't been able to stop myself and say something like, "Yeah it is hard.  It gets harder every day when someone wants me to bask in the happiness of someone I have no ties to, to rub it in my face that my body failed me. " (Her look of shock) "Oh, is this hard for you? Good, B!tch."  But I am kinda mean...

    Hugs and love sweetie!  You deserve better support from your friends and coworkers.

    Bahahahaha. I could stand to grow a pair and stick up for myself sometimes.

    kpowers, I'm sorry she was so inconsiderate. Why is TTC everyone else's business?? 

    Report Reply
  • sammer818sammer818 member
    It kind of sounds like your co-worker has a severe case of verbal diarrhea. *HUGS* You would think once she realized she made you uncomfortable that she would stop.

    TTC since April 2010
    BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
    BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
    Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
    BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
    Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
    BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
    BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
    No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
    June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
    image
    ~All AL always welcome~

    Report Reply
  • mama2jmama2j

    imagesammer818:
    It kind of sounds like your co-worker has a severe case of verbal diarrhea. *HUGS* You would think once she realized she made you uncomfortable that she would stop.

     

    Right! I'm so sorry that happened to you. ((hugs))

    Ashley - Mama to DS born 5/8/2007 Angel Baby #1 M/C 10/2008 DD born 10/21/2009 Angel Baby #2 Missed M/C 12/26/2011, D&C 1/5/1012
    <a href="http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh498/mama2jandl/?action=view
    Report Reply
  • atmidwoodtobeatmidwoodtobe member

    Oh sweetie, I am so, so sorry that you had to deal with that today. I hope that today gets sooo much better for you!

    **HUGE HUGS**

    Report Reply
  • behapy2daybehapy2day

    I am so sorry. I have found myself in several awkward conversations revolving around pregnancy lately as well.

     As for asking when you'll try again.... DH was on the phone with his grandpa last night and his papa asks... "so, is behapy2day pregnant again yet?" Umm, Indifferent!

    He's my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping.

    <a href="http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk121/behapybride/?action=view
    Report Reply
  • paisleybaby33paisleybaby33 member
    I'm so sorry that happened to you today. People can be so fricking ignorant sometimes. A similar situation happened to me at work right after my m/c and it made me feel like I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. (HUGS) hon.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Laurakat81Laurakat81 member
    Wow. I'm sorry.

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


    Report Reply
  • baby101010baby101010 member
    wow- sorry you had to deal with that
    BabyFruit Ticker BFP #7 2/4/13- EDD 10/20/13
    Report Reply
  • kpowers982kpowers982 member
    As usual, I knew you guys would get it!  Love you all <3
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • ChloBubChloBub member

    Ugh. What is WRONG with some people? I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. (((HUGS))

    PS - We're totally 5DPO buddies. ::stalks kpowers' chart with FX::

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    My Blog: One Emerald
    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
    Report Reply
  • kpowers982kpowers982 member
    imageChloBub:

    Ugh. What is WRONG with some people? I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. (((HUGS))

    PS - We're totally 5DPO buddies. ::stalks kpowers' chart with FX::

    Ha!  Good luck to us both!  I have been obsessing pretty hardcore, so I decided to not temp once I got CH...so we'll see.  My LP is 13-14 days so I'll know here in a little over a week.

    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • rebekamrebekam member
    What a b**ch... I mean really that is ridiculous! I would have a hard time not slapping her in the face!
    "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!
    Report Reply
  • dtowngirldtowngirl

    What is wrong with people?! I'm sorry your coworkers suck! 

    A coworker recently happily told me to keep July something or other open for her baby shower. I felt like banging my head on my desk. Ugh. 

    BabyFruit Ticker BFP #1 - 1-25-2012. Missed M/C discovered at 9 weeks 3 days. D&C 3-9-2012

    BFP #2 - 10-11-2012 Beta 38, 10-15-2012 Beta 518!.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"