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SIL update--OUCH!!!

krisztina33krisztina33
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

So last night was the dinner with my due-any-day-now SIL.  I had DH tell her ahead of time about my MC, hoping that she would be sensitive and not talk babies all night long.

Literally a few minutes after she sat down, she looks at my margarita, rubs on her belly and says "man that drink looks good--wish I could trade places with you.  Can't wait to be able to drink again.  If you think about it, I have been pregnant for the last four years basically" (she has an almost 3 year old, a 15 month old and one on the way).

I was floored.  I immediatly excused myself from dinner with a "work emergency" and left.

Am I overreacting??  Was she trying to make me feel better in some weird twisted way???  Ugh!!

TTC #1 since November 2011
** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29

***All AL always welcome***
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Re: SIL update--OUCH!!!

  • Laurakat81Laurakat81 member

    Wow. I don't know what to say. Maybe she was trying to make you feel better. But she's an idiot....maybe drinking is more important than her babies but it sure as Hell isn't more important than mine!

    I'm sorry you had to hear that!


    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


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  • bumpuser2669861bumpuser2669861 member
    That is pretty bad. But maybe she was just trying to "look on the bright side"?  It's weird that people will say anything to try to make you feel better even if it comes out completely wrong.  I have had a few people say things like that to me "oh at least you can have a cocktail now"  Its a VERY small consolation to still being pregnant.  And I am sure hearing it from a very pregnant lady made it all the worse. I just try to remember that people are not trying to hurt me, they just don't know what to say. 
    BFP#1 10/30/2011,MC 12/4/2011 9w2d,BFP#2 3/6/2012,m/c 4/18/2012 9w1d D&E 4/18/2012 BFP#3 8/12/2012 EDD 4/25/2013 Stick baby!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker
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  • geminiwaysgeminiways member

    sheesh...sorry...sometimes people misplace their 'sensitivity chip' and forget.

     my sister in law wanted to tell me all about her plant based prenatal vitamins this weekend. i'm not sure i would really give a sh*! if i was still pregnant, but i certainly don't care after everything we've been through! 

    BFP#1 10/15/2011! EDD 6/25/2012. natural m/c 10/28/2011. 5wks, 3d. BFP#2 2/27/2012! EDD 11/12/2012. d&c 4/10/12. 9 weeks. Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • kelly321kelly321 member
    How incredibly insensitive. I'm guessing she was trying to make you feel better by pointing out the "positive" side of your situation, but that was a major fail. I'm sorry. :-(

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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