Upset about coming back to work before I even leave...(Kinda Long)

AshleyR711

I know this is my hormones getting to me, but I'm just really upset at the moment.

Basically due to some new re-vamped HR policies at work they are forcing me to add time to my work day due to mandatory break/lunch laws; punching in and out etc... even though I'm technically a salaried employee. Weirdly enough, I already had my manager approve a new schedule for me once LO comes a few weeks ago but today I learn that's not going to happen anymore.

It's the law so I could care less, but I'm upset that this means baby girl will be in daycare for almost 10 hours a day rather than the preferred 8.5 to 9.

Really I think my issue is that she isn't even here yet and I don't want to leave her!

 DH and I really benefit from having a two person income household and leaving her is the sacrafice I must make to be able to do the things we want such a nice home, nice clothes, vacations etc... If I didn't work we would have to keep things really tight eating pb&j's every night (not that that's bad we just prefer the financial benefits of me working).  I should be grateful I even have a job! The idea of her gone all day without me just breaks my heart. I think because I'm a FTM the anxiety and sadness wears on me knowing that this is a sacrafice I'm making for her to be able to have the things she has... but honestly? It just really sucks today....

For those of you heading back to work also is anyone starting to get anxious/upset or nervous about the impending return?

So much has been focused on the next two months I haven't thought about how much my life will change after she is here and I'm just fighting back tears. =(

cchill01

The first week or two will be rough, but you'll get into the swing of things.

DD is at daycare 10-11 hours a day.  The good news is that they can't tell time.  So, while you are feeling bad, baby won't know the difference.  Since you have to take a lunch break, could you go visit LO at lunch?  I did that for the first year and it really helped.

Try to enjoy your time with baby.  And maybe your work rules will change by the time you're back.  My work rules seem to change every 6-12 months, depending on someone's whim or an interpretation.

chicagocubsfan23

I absolutely hate my job and was miserable here before I found out I was pregnant. I was looking for a job elsewhere, but now that my due date is so close, I've stopped. I am dreading having to come back because #1 I do eventually want to be a SAHM and #2 I hate knowing I'm coming back to a job I hate. But like you, I want to be able to give LO everything I can! I'm sure after a few weeks you'll get used to it and it won't seem so bad

mamameg11

I'm not gonna lie...its hard to leave DD at daycare all day. Even after 2 years there are still those days every once in a while when I cry after I drop her off. It does get easier after the first couple weeks though. And my DD loves the home daycare she is in, she is always happy to go and smiling when I pick her up, which makes it so much easier for me deal with.

 Our family is just like yours, we could live without my income, but it would be tight and we are working towards me staying home, so for now I am working and will go back to work after DS is born. We know what we are doing now will be better for our family in the long run, so we are toughing it out for another year or two until I can stay home with the kiddos.

babyruth88

I am dreading it

Still free to be me

I spent my entire maternity leave dreading going back to my job (which I loved.)  About two weeks before I was supposed to return to work, DH and I had a heart to heart and realized that both of us wanted me to stay home with DD, we just thought the other wanted me to go back to work.  I had already scheduled a meeting with my boss to talk about my new schedule, etc. so I ended up telling her that I wouldn't be returning.  (She was very happy for me and supportive, by the way.) 

It has been harder to stay within our budget, but I think that would have been the case if I was working, or not, simply because of the additional person in our family.

angelrue522

I feel the same way! I am sad that we dont make enough for me to at least work part-time for the first year of his life. Leaving him for 9-10 hours a day is so hard when they are so little. With my other one I am always nit-picking at the daycares. Had him in an in-home-daycare and kept finding tons of things I didnt like. I have switched him 4 times due to not being satisfied and still dont think he gets the kind of care I would provide for my LO! I dont think I will ever find a perfect child care place for my sons. On they other hand, it does get a little easier as they get a little older.

AshleyR711

Thanks everyone for your feedback I think after taking some time to step back from the situation I realized that a lot of people to do it, and it's going to be okay. Like PP said LO won't notice an extra 30 minutes a day if that's the case. I will try and cherish every moment I have and try not to think about it until it comes and take it day by day. For every a decision there is a sacarafice.. it is just so tough on women... you know, wanting to have it all? You have to find a balance and it's obviously something I will learn to navigate once she gets here.